Jon's 199th Post Spectacular

Art Linklighter: Welcome to Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator’s 199th post spectacular. And here’s your host, Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator!

[audience applause]

Jon: Thank you, thank you. It’s great to be here. Say Art, I haven’t seen you since my 100th Post Spectacular, how’ve you been?

Art Linklighter: Well, I lost a bundle at the track and my wife left me, Jon!

Jon: Well, I’m glad to see doing well. You’re looking good.

Art Linklighter: Thanks, Jon. Think I could sleep on your couch tonight?

Jon: Hey anything could happen.

[Turns to audience]

Jon: And just about anything did happen during my adventures here from post 101 to now. After a super funny post about all the wacky, wacky comments that I get, I quickly jumped into the action when the Queen of the Galaxy visited Earth. After showing her all of the great things to see on Earth and stopping some space zombies, I uncovered and stopped a traitor working against Queen Galacta.

Art Linklighter: That certainly was an exciting adventure, Jon!

Jon: Boy, I'll say, Art. But the excitement didn’t end there, did it?

Art Linklighter: Oh no it didn’t.

Jon: Right. From there, I had a few quick posts about a goofy high school kid, my daughter’s fascination with the S-word, and a meeting with Dr. Destiny. After that came the Count Vampire saga, which culminated with a showdown at Count Dracula’s castle.

Art Linklighter: Oh, but it didn’t end there, did it, Jon?.

Jon: Rrrr, no it didn’t, Art. The conclusion of the saga actually featured me giving a goth kid a severe wedgie.

Art Linklighter: You wedgied him good didn’t you?.

[laughter]

Jon: Yeah, well not my proudest moment. I think he learned his lesson, though.

Art Linklighter: You know, you weren’t the only one having some exciting adventures on this blog.

Jon: You’re right. Jo Jo the Monkeyboy might be gone, but somehow I got myself another sidekick.

Private Hudson: Hey! Who are you callin’ a sidekick?

Jon: Ladies and gentlemen, Private Hudson.

[applause]

Private Hudson: Ha ha, hey I know you’re kidding. How’s everybody doing?

Jon: You know, Hudson, you had your share of action here, didn’t you?

Private Hudson: You bet, Jon. After showing my heroism as an Agent to the Queen, I decided to stick around a bit and show you my stuff. My second visit was a review of the movie Starship Troopers.

Jon: Hey is that movie a documentary or fiction?

Private Hudson: I just assumed that it was a dramatization of real events, like a Lifetime movie, but without Judith Light and her giant shoulder pads.

Jon: Ha ha, oh Hudson, you crack me up. You also got a chance sing about your former girlfriends as well as go speed dating.

Private Hudson: Yeah, well, the less said about that the better.

Art Linklighter: Jon, you have one more adventure to talk about tonight.

Jon: You got that right. Up next was the Evil Jon saga. Galactor the Evil Galactic Overlord’s attempt at revenge was something indeed.

Art Linklighter: The Queen recruited you again to stop Galactor’s plans.

Private Hudson: And I was there to lend a hand.

Jon: Probably one of my favorite chapters was where we found the map of Galactor’s castle tattooed on the technomage’s body. I mean, it was good except for the part about the lieutenant dying.

Private Hudson: Stupid REMF.

Jon: Then there was the showdown between myself and my evil counterpart.

Private Hudson: Don’t forget about my key fight with mine.

Jon: Say, we’re talking about my blog, here.

Private Hudson: Oh yeah.

Jon: I do have to admit, though, that you played an important role in that series.

Private Hudson: I sure did, it was game over for my evil twin.

[Audience laughter]

Jon: You have a point there, [to the audience] the point on his head.

Private Hudson: Hey!

Jon: And you also got your moment to shine when I went off to compete on Big Brother: Naboo.

Private Hudson: You betcha.

Jon: And we'll talk about that tomorow!

Private Hudson: Aww.

Art Linklighter: Tune in tomorow for Jon's 200th Post Spectacular!

[applause]