Thursday, January 29, 2009

Separated at Birth VII: Your all Superbowl Edition

A big hello to all my Junior Intergalactic Gladiators today, the Separated at Birth supercomputer is going to take a little break from its current work of calculating the subatomic formula for keeping the hot side hot and the cold side cold to bring you another award winning* edition of Separated at Birth.

And because we are merely days away from The Big Game, I’ve got this puppy tuned up to present to you the all-NFL Separated at Birth. Are you ready? Strap on your seatbelts because here we go!

Pittsburgh Steelers coach Mike Tomlin and Dr. Eric Foreman are Separated at Birth!

Green Bay Packers coach Mike McCarthy and that King of Queens guy are Separated at Birth!

I don’t know what the deal is, but apparently there are a lot of coaches with the name Mike. Here’s another coach named Mike who’s Separated at Birth:

Seattle Seahawks coach Mike Holmgren and a walrus are Separated at Birth!

Amazing isn’t it? The Separated at Birth supercomputer tells no lies. Now here’s one that just may knock your socks off!

Philadelphia Eagles Coach Andy Reid, Seahawks coach Mike Holmgren and a walrus are all Separated at Birth!

Ladies and gentlemen, if this is your first Separated at Birth, then welcome to this fantastically amazing, stupendously astounding, astonishingly breathtaking event that is without peer on this INTERgalactic Network of Electronic Transmissions. People who have been here before are also welcome.

Tennessee Titans coach Jeff Fischer and that one used car salesman who pretends to be a secret agent to get women are Separated at Birth!

Ladies and gentlemen for this last Separated at Birth, I advise all pregnant women and anyone with a serious heart condition to continue no further. If you feel faint or lose feeling in your left arm, seek medical assistance immediately. You have been warned.

Chicago Bears running back Adrian Peterson and comedian Whoopi Goldberg are Separated at Birth!

Adrian, sorry to do that to you dog. If it’s any consolation, I’d rather tongue kiss you than her. It’s not? Disregard.

Thank you ladies and gentlemen for being a part of this latest Separated at Birth. Tune in next time when we’ll use the Separated at Birth supercomputer to simultaneously sort a tin can of nails and come up with the formula for New NEW Coke.


Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Monday, January 12, 2009

The #@(*&% Blagojevich

When I saw the Dr. Zaius post about the #@(*&% Blagojevich burger I knew I had to have one. The meaty gauntlet was thrown down and it was time to step up to the (dinner) plate.

Patricia and I had always wanted to go to Kuma’s Corner, but we’ve never had the opportunity. With this new found mission of mine, however, we made a date. The kids stayed at grandma’s for the afternoon and my wife and I made our way through the Chicago snowstorm to 2900 W. Belmont.

We ordered our beers and our lunch, Patricia got the Iron Maiden. We had about an hour’s wait, but already knew that going in – the reviews we saw said that Kuma’s has one of the best burgers in town, but it takes a long time to actually get to you.

It was worth it.

The patty tasted great and was grilled perfectly; the balogna on top of it offered its smooth, salty taste to every bite. On top of that (pun intended), Kuma’s has the best ketchup that I’ve ever tasted. Way better than your ordinary ketchup, this stuff has some zing to it. The waffle fries were crispy and tasty, too, though I wanted to order the fresh-cut chips, I didn’t regret getting the fries instead.

If I had one complaint about the #@(*&% Blagojevich, it’s that it has a lot of bread on it. The grilled cheese sandwiches on either side were just a bit too much. But that’s the point, right?

I will probably never have a #@(*&% Blagojevich again, but it was definitely an amazing culinary experience. That thing knocked me out. Literally. I needed a nap that afternoon.