Final Battle on Asteroid X

Ripley and the Broodqueencyborg battled it out tooth and claw. It was servo against servo, monstrous alien evil teamed with a horrible, vile technology versus the gritty determination of the human spirit contained within an awkward robotic forklift. They fought as hard as the previous two sentences stated, with no quarter asked and no quarter given.

"Where'd she come from?" I asked.

"Oh, she's a civilian, we didn't want her coming with us and mucking up our military operation," answered a Colonial Marine. "She was on the dropship."

"Looks like she's saving our bacon," observed Cyclops.

"Everybody, this way!" called the Beast. "I found the way to the reactor core.

The remaining Marines, the X-Men and I headed through the entryway, down several levels into the reactor core. The core was humming with energy; bristling with power.

"Clearly, we need to overload the reactor and cause it to self-destruct," I said.

The Beast studied the giant constuct. "Cyclops, if you fire your optic blasts into the core, it will do just that," he surmised.

"But we'll all blow up, man! Game over, game over man!" complained a Marine.

"Not if I have this deduced correctly," the Beast answered. "Clearly, a device such as this will give us a countdown warning before the resulting explosion."

Cyclops shrugged and fired his eyebeams into the glowing core of the core. Energy in it's most deadly form erupted from the epicenter of the reactor.

A computer voice rang out "Power core overload, station will destruct in two minutes."

Beast and Cyclops looked at each other. "Let's get out of here!" they yelled.

"Oh man, game over! Hey, wait up!" the Marine chased after everyone else running out of the room.

"Power core overload, station will self destruct in one minute," the computer's female voice calmly warned.

Cyclops, the Beast, and I piled into the Danger Sled. The Marines quickly loaded up into their drop ship.

"Power core overload, station will self destruct in 30 seconds," the speakers blared.

I turned the ignition, it made a "whir whir whir" sound.

"You flooded the engine!" Cyclops exclaimed.

"28... 27..."

"I got it, I got it!" I yelled.

"Try holding the gas down, then turning the key," the Beast offered.

"21...20...19..."

"No no!" Cyclops yelled. "Turn the key on and off, on and off!"

"I got it! I got it!" I yelled again.

"15... 14... 13..."

The engines whirred and sputtered.

"Hold the gas down!" Cyclops yelled.

"Turn the key!" the Beast yelled.

"I got it! I got it!" I yelled once more.

"10... 9... 8...."

The engines sputtered again.

"7... 6... 5...."

Cyclops howled, the Beast yelled, I hollered.

"4... 3... 2... "

The engines sputtered. We all howled.

"...1...."

The power core exploded. The asteroid exploded.

_____________________________________________

I woke up and saw Ripley standing over me. I looked out the viewport, we were hurling through space in the Danger Sled.

I looked at her. "Are we going to sleep all the way home?" I asked.

"All the way home," Ripley soothed.

"And the two X-Men?" I asked.

"They're fine," she replied. "Cyclops radioed Professor Xavier a moment ago, now both are resting and recovering from the battle on the asteroid."

"So we're completely safe?" I asked.

"Of course," she looked a little puzzled at my question. "There's no sign of the Broodqueencyborg hanging off the side of the ship or anything."

"We're not going to crash on a prison planet are we?"

"No, we're heading to Earth. What do you mean 'prison planet?'"

"Alien3?" I reminded her. "Wow, that was a stinker! P.U.! Shaving your head made it worse."

"Oh give me a break, You men are all alike," she shot back. "You all beg for a strong woman character to be the lead, but when there is one, you don't like it."

"You're kidding," I countered. "I was a big fan of you in Ghostbusters, Half Moon Street, Dave, all the others. Alien3 was just bad."

"But did you see the special edition?" she demanded. "That version was a lot better! It cleared up a lot of issues with the movie!"

"And what about Alien resurrection? Hybrid human/alien clone with genetic memory?" I snorted. "Come on!"

"Oh give me a break!" she returned. "Hey, I don't write the movies. I just act in them."

We were silent for a moment.

"Hey," at least I wasn't in Alien Vs. Predator," she offered.

"You're right, there," I replied.

We were silent for a moment more.

"Poor Lance Hendrickson," we said in unison.

The Fight on Asteroid X

We were close to Asteroid X.

"The scopes aren't showing any life forms on the station," said the Beast looking into the scopes.

"I can't believe that the station is abandoned," I replied.

"It must be some sort of interference or energy shielding," deduced the Beast. "I have also been unable to contact The Professor on the space radio."

"I'm bringing the ship closer," said Cyclops, aiming the Danger Sled towards the outpost.

I looked out the viewport. "What is that thing? It looks like some kind of a weapon or antenna and it's pointed towards Earth."

Suddenly, we were passed by a dropship.

"We're on an express elevator to hell - going down!" Yelled someone over the radio.

"Who were those guys?" asked the Beast and Cyclops in unison.

"I don't like this," I replied. I remembered my last run-in with the Colonial Marines. I hope this doesn't turn into a mess like the last time.

We found a landing pad and set the ship down next to the drop ship. The Marines were already inside and they were yelling.

"Game over, man! Game over!" yelled one.

"Stop your grinnin' and drop your linen!" yelled another.

"Wait, we're on a bug hunt, where are the bugs?"

"They're here, the corporation said that they'd be here," said a corporate weasel.

"I believe that I understand their presence here," said the Beast, indicating to the Marines. "But you do not seem to belong with this group. Who are you?"

"I'm Burke, the corporation sent me. We have uh, interests on this asteroid," answered Burke.

"Wait a minute," I said pointing at him. "I know you, you're Paul Reiser. You've made a career out of playing annoying characters."

"Whu-whu-whu-What?" he asked.

"My Two Dads, Mad About You, the nerdy detective in Beverly Hills Cop. Is there a role that you've played where you weren't an insipid, whiny, stuttering nerd?"

"God, I hated My Two Dads," added Cyclops.

"Whu-whu-whu-wait, what about Diner?" he stammered, pressing himself against the door to the rest of the station. "I wasn't so nerdy in that!"

"Aw give us a break, newbie!" growled a Marine. "We have a job to do. Let's get in there and do it! I love the Corps! Every meal's a banquet, every formation's a parade!"

"Whu-whu-whu-wait," stammered Burke. "We have to AAAAAAAAHHHHHH!"

A Brood warrior burst through his chest and howled. More warriors poured out from the hole in the door behind what once was Burke. The Marines howled as well, firing wildly with their pulse rifles and smart guns. The sheer volume of gunfire ricocheting everywhere took down most of the warriors, but more were in the hole. Cyclops fired his optic blasts as well, and with his great strength and agility, Beast fought any of the ones that got close. I cleaved as many as I could with my Lasar Ax.

"Oh man, game over man, game over!!" yelled a Marine.

What's with that guy?

After thousands of rounds were expended, things grew quiet.

"Well, what do you think?" asked a Marine.

"It's quiet. Too quiet." said another.

We pressed forward into the command center. The Marines, surpisingly, kept their weapons silent. We found a control console and the Beast immediately took a look at the machine.

"Seems like the Shi'ar had this outpost here for centuries," the Beast said. They were using it as an observation post and laboratory. They were experimenting on the Brood, trying to wean out the most aggressive traits. "

"But why?" Cyclops asked.

"That is very unclear. Who could fathom what their motives were back then. The station has been abandoned for some time and I do not know what brought it back online. There was also some energy beam pointed at Earth, I have turned that off."

I looked at the readings on the monitor. "It appears that the beam was a carrier beacon, Brood warriors were beamed to Earth from here. But what about the Sentinel technology?" I asked.

"That is also unclear. I can't see how that could have been introduced, but it may have been introduced in an effort to track mutants on Earth. What kind of an evil are we up against?"

Suddenly, a roar was heard, everyone turned, stunned to see a Brood Queen somehow fused with a Sentinel body.

"That's..." gasped Cyclops.

"...Unbelievable." Continued the Beast.

"That is ugly on top of ugly," I said.

"G-g-g-game over..." a Marine barely choked out.

The hybrid creature howled again an started towards us, then we heard a metallic clang.



Whirr clang.



Whirr clang.



Whirr clang.






Whirr clang.






Whirr clang.





Whirrr clang!




Whirrr clang!


"Get away from them, you beee-yotch!"

The Flight to Asteroid X

Cyclops, the Beast and I were hurling towards Asteroid X in the Danger Sled. I looked at my two companions.

"Aren't there more X-Men?" I asked.

"Certainly. There are plenty of X-Men," the Beast answered.

"Sometimes, you can't lift a rock without finding a new mutant... or a New Mutant," Cyclops added.

My mind was whirring, thinking of our situation, thinking of what awaited us at our destination, thinking of the X-Men.

"And are we the best three for this mission?" I asked.

"The best available," Cylcops replied. "Hank's scientific mind and brawn are his two greatest assets and my piloting skills and optic blasts are mine." He thought for a moment. "And along with your Intergalactic Gladiating skills, you have a ship that we can use."

I thought for a moment.

"Isn't there another X-Man who's fighting skills and mutant healing factor would be useful against the Brood?" I asked.

"Aw geez," the Beast sighed. "Here we go again."

"What?"

"Everyone likes Wolverine, it's always 'Wolverine this' and 'Wolverine that.' It is as if he is the only X-Man anyone knows." complained the Beast.

"I'm the best at what I do," Cyclops said mockingly. "I'm the best at what I do, and what I do ain't pretty, bub."

"You should know," the Beast continued. "We were X-Men first, I was on the Avengers and the Defenders. Cylcops was on plenty of teams as well, and we've got plenty to bring to the table. But who do the Avengers or SHIELD or whoever want? Is it the us? Noooooooo! It's Wolverine."

"We're a little Wolverined out," Cyclops conceded. "It seems like he's everywhere."

"In any case," the Beast concluded. "Wolverine is on another mission."

Another mission? I thought. I wonder what that could be.

A meeting of the minds*

"You must stop this fighting at once," said The Professor. "Jon, you will soon understand that we are on the same side."

I looked at Cyclops, he was standing there with balled up fists but he wasn't moving.

"I was defending myself against his attacks. If we're supposed to be allies, why were we even fighting in the first place?"

"That is rule number one when two heroes meet in a crossover. They must first fight an epic battle to get the fanboys salivating."

"But we fought to a standstill," I said, eyeing Professor X and Cyclops warily. "Seems pointless to me."

"Of course, the second rule is that the fight must end in a draw unless one of the combatants is under a spell, mind control, or his abilities are altered by an outside source. The heroes can then team up together to defeat their common foe."

"I see," I said. "Sort of."

Cyclops relaxed and looked at me through his ruby quartz eye piece, without which, his optic blasts would be uncontrollably unleashed. "I apologize for attacking you first, Jon. But it is the rule."

"OK, I understand. I'm no stranger to seeing heroes battle each other in crossover situations." I shook my finger. "But don't let it happen again."

"Oh, I won't," Cyclops chuckled and slapped me on the shoulder.

"Jon, I have seen in one of your entries that you have unique powers. Powers that, because of their nature, went unnoticed by me until very recently. You have abilities that we need to save the Earth."

Well, I have saved Earth before,** I guess that I can do it again.

"We have found that the Brood*** is on Earth, my teams have been dispatched to hunt them down,**** but we found something more."

"What is it?" I asked.

"We have found that an asteroid near Jupiter that has a technologically advanced outpost on it, it appears to have been built at some point by the Shi'ar ***** as an observation and science station of sorts."

"An asteroid like Asteroid M?" I asked. ******

"Similar in ways, we've dubbed it Asteroid X," The Professor answered.

"It's 11 times worse than Asteroid M." added Cyclops.

What's with these guys and their X's? "And you need my help to take it out?"

"Yes, but there's more," Professor X continued. "We have reason to believe that the station there also has Sentinel******* technology on it, so it would be able to detect mutants. With your unique powers, they would not be able to detect you."

"Yeah, about those abilities..."

"I have selected Cyclops and the Beast to accompany you on the mission, if we could use your ship the Danger Sled, they would not recognize it as a threat. The outpost's shielding will repel any attacks on it, so you need to get inside the base to stop them."

"That doesn't sound too tough," I say. I have to add a little bravado for all of my Junior Intergalactic Gladiators out there. ********

"Remember, the Brood is a highly dangerous race, more dangerous than you can imagine." Xavier cautioned. "They are a hive mind and they exist solely to further their feral species."

"Dangerous, hive, feral. Got it." I answer.

"I am serious," Xavier insisted. "Before you go, do you have any questions?"

"Just one. Did you know that you look an awful lot like Captain Picard?" ********

__________________________________________

*And by "Meeting of the Minds," I meant Professor X's very powerful mutant mind and my regular Intergalactic Gladiator mind.

** See in my blog Space Battle Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4 and 5.

*** The Brood, an alien race who's entire existence is devoted to hunger and procreation.

**** As chronicled in Professor Xavier's blog.

***** The Shi'ar, an advanced race of aliens who rule their own interstellar empire.

****** Asteroid M, constructed by Magneto to be a haven for mutants.

******* Sentinels, robots designed to hunt mutants.

******** Jr. Intergalactic Gladiators, all of my fans and the regular readers of this blog.

********* Jean Luc Picard, Captain of the Starship Enterprise.

A battle with a guy in a black suit

I came home from work pretty exhausted. All I wanted was some dinner, maybe a beer and to watch the Simpsons. I was about to go through the front door when a voice shouted "Hold it!"

I turned and looked, it was dark out, and the man was just in the shadows, wearing what appeared to be a dark outfit and some sort of headgear or maybe a metallic mask. "Can I help you?" I ask. Maybe he's lost, looking for Cellular Field or Belmont and Halstead or something.

"You think you're something, huh?" He said. "I've really got a bone to pick with you."

Faster than I anticipated, the stranger leapt at me. I was unable to dodge his attack and he tackled me. Pinning me down, he landed several punches.

I didn't want Kiera seeing me fighting, and I certainly didn't want her to see me losing. Using my grappling skills (1989 "most improved wrestler" awardee at my high school), I flipped him over me and put him in a choke hold to subdue him.

The assailant managed to pry himself loose and rolled himself away from my grasp. "You're finished now!" He called out.

"Look buddy, I don't know who you are, you're the one who attacked me!"

The man didn't reply, instead he touched his mask and a beam blasted forth from it, drowning me in its ruby energy. The blast tore my armored flightsuit, but I managed to dive away from it and knock my assailant down. I followed up my attack with a bodyslam when I felt myself unable to move.

"That's enough!" another voice called out.

Frozen in my tracks, I finally got a good look at my assailant and discovered that he was Cyclops, member of a team of mutants called the X-Men.





I looked over at the owner of the second voice.

"Professor Charles Xavier?"




To be continued...