Deep in the bowels of the Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator for President of the United States Campaign Headquarters, Professor Xavier and I were in the midst of our campaign strategy meeting.
“So Jon,” the Professor said. “Have you selected your running mate yet?”
“Not yet,” I replied. “This is tougher than I thought. I’ve looked at philosophers, scholars, soldiers, and leaders. I need someone who is all this and more.”
“Of course, I have every confidence in your abilities to find an outstanding vice president. However, on another note, I have a plan for taking on your, ehem, competition.”
“Really?” My eyebrow arched at his comment.
“Of course, these other candidates are resorting to dirty, underhanded, sneaky tricks to get at their opponents, so we have something for them.”
“A present?” I asked.
“That’s what it looks like.” The headmaster of the Xavier Institute for Higher Learning let a bit of a wicked smile cross his face. “We’ll address these to our distinguished competition from their loyal fans. Once they open the box—”
I grinned as the banana cream pie sprung out of the box like a delicious and deadly jack-in-the-box.
“Fantastic,” I breathed out.
“I’ll have our interns send them out right away,” the Professor added. “These will go out to Dr. Zaius, Dr. Smith, Monkerstein, Germaine Gregarious, Sleestak, and Phydeaux.”
“Wait, is Phydeaux even in the running?” I asked. “He appears to be headquartering his campaign from a broken down van.”
“I wouldn’t disparage his methods,” Xavier admonished. “That’s how Bill Clinton won his first gubernatorial race in Arkansas.”
“Of course,” I responded thoughtfully. “Wait again, this seems awfully devious to me.”
“Of course,” the powerful telepath agreed.
“I mean, this is a really, really sneaky and dirty tactic.”
“Once I step down this path, forever shall it guide my destiny.”
“That goes without saying,” Xavier answered thoughtfully. “Why? Are you worried about something?”
“Naw, I’m just sayin’ is all,” I shrugged. “Let’s get those… presents out right away.”
Your attention please.
Update: There was a bit of a mistake with the link to Blog Interviewer (blame it on the interns). It's fixed now so click away!