Thursday, August 09, 2007

Campaign Strategy Meeting

“Our spies, er, loyal supporters have been uncovering some great information that we can use against your opponents, Jon,” Professor Xavier, my campaign manager said. “Additionally, we have a new campaign ad planned to run at the end of this week. If your campaign continues to run as effectively as it has in the past two weeks, there’s little doubt in my mind that you will make it to the White House.”

“You’re right, Professor,” I replied. “So can I see the ad?”

“Certainly. Before I show you this, however, I wanted to ask if you have selected your running mate yet?”

“I have a few good ideas,” I said slyly.

“Really, because you see I feel that I would make an excellent vice president.”

I started to feel sort of a slight buzzing in my head, almost a faint compulsion to agree with the Professor. I decided to ignore it and explain my reasons for not selecting him.”

“I thought about that,” I said. “But ultimately, I decided against it because you’re awfully busy as the leader of the X-Men. You have to protect humanity from the Brotherhood of Evil Mutants, the Hellfire Club, and all those other supervillains.”

“Of course,” Professor Xavier replied. “However, I can easily delegate leadership to my field leaders Storm, Wolverine, or even (heaven forbid) Cyclops.”

“No really, as the veep, all you’d do all day is go to briefings and funerals and stuff. I really think that your talents would be better used elsewhere.”

“Now Jon, I am sure that my talents would be useful in all of those briefings and meetings,” the Professor insisted. “I think you should give it serious consideration.”

The unusual feeling in my head continued. It felt as if some force was attempting to subtly alter my thoughts. Perhaps something that was more powerful that could easily take over my mind but was attempting to be more delicate. I decided to drive on and tell him the real reason that I couldn’t have him as my vice president.

“OK. I’ll level with you,” I said. “The real reason I can’t have you as my running mate is because of your obvious superiority to me.”

Professor Xavier paused for a moment, his mouth hung open faintly for less than a second, then he quickly regained his composure. “Really?” he said with an eyebrow arching slightly

“Sure,” I said. “You’re obviously a smarter and more powerful man than I. What kind of an idiot would want to look like a puppet to his own vice president?”

“Ha ha, I see your point, Jon,” the Professor laughed. He seemed to relax a bit and I felt myself relax as well. “You would look very foolish if you and that’s the last thing that a president of the United States would want, I would imagine.”

13 comments:

Professor Xavier said...

Of course that would be the last thing a President would want. That and not getting on the bad side of the most powerful mutant telepath on the planet.

Jean-Luc Picard said...

Jon's got a point there about Xavier too good for VP.

A Army Of (Cl)One said...

So for VP you are looking for a person that everyone likes, some kind of friendly idiot who will make you look good.

I will put forth Hudson or Captian Koma. But if you want a working VP who can follow orders and can bring the votes of billions of beings who think just like the VP canidate may I suggest a certain clone * Hemm hem*

Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

But Tak, you're not a 'Mercan. If the people electify you, then the terr'ists win.

Flik Sivrak said...

Yeah, but clones'll turn on you if they're under the control of the wrong person *Order 66* You have to make sure that they're truly loyal to you.

Politics - the universe would be better off without it...

flukizmo said...

I'd run with ya, mate.

Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

Come back, Flukey, come back!

A Army Of (Cl)One said...

Flik Sivrak: How many times do I have to say this - Order 66 is just the Kung Pow Chicken. Nothing dangrous, like some evile plan to take over the REpublic and allow th eSith to Rule once more. That is just crazy talk.

Flik Sivrak said...

Then how come Jango was in league with Dooku and donated the DNA to create the clones if there's not a connection with the Sith?

Spider-man said...

Politics are just frustrating, lol

Dr. Zaius said...

You need a running mate that spells "potato" as "potatoe," and thinks kethup is a vegetable.

SQT said...

See I'd be useful, I could morph into whatever you wanted. ;)

Vince Briefs said...

Bah! Stupid dad being a prince , I can't even vote!