Monday, August 06, 2007

(Another) Campaign Update from Your Man of Action



Support from my supporters continues to pour into my Campaign Headquarters. Information on my distinguished colleagues continues to pour in as well.



Dr. Zaius recently and dramatically lost 160 lbs (73 kg). and has been intentionally evasive about how this excess weight was dropped.

"Diet and exercise," the candidate insisted as several photographers pushed microphones in his face. "You can soon read about it in the article that I write for Glamour Magazine."



All's quiet at the Hayley Mills Celebratory Complex after an apparent dinosaur attack yesterday.

"We're all OK," said a spokesman for Sleestak's campaign. "Sleestak is fine and resting at his compound in Kennebunkport."

When asked to give further word on Sleestak's campaign, the spokesman offered no further comment.



In another surprise revelation, Samurai Frog was photographed with a plate of delicious half-eaten frog legs sitting in front of him. When asked how he could participate in something as horrible as cannibalism, he quietly sighed and said "It's not easy being green."

14 comments:

Flik Sivrak said...

Better not let Samurai Frog anywhere near my toads...

Dark Jedi Kriss said...

A frog eatting his own kind... so wrong.

Skywalker said...

I know a guy who lost 100 pounds on the frog leg eatting diet.

Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

Hey, maybe that's how Zaius did it.

Jean-Luc Picard said...

You've got quite a team on your campaign support.

Spider-man said...

Wow... Cannibalism? *shakes head* What have our politicians sunk to?

Vegeta said...

monarchy works fine for me. But then again I'm a monarch.

Professor Xavier said...

Have you noticed how Zaius is always wearing those dark shades? Rather suspicious if you ask me. Obviously he's hiding something.

Erifia Apoc said...

I agree with Vegeta... For once... Let's make Jon King... Or Me Queen. Or both? Why not?

As For Vegeta, we should demote him to Prince again.

Captain Berk said...

I'll endorse you at the next Captain's Conference

Flik Sivrak said...

There's only one thing worse than a politician and that's royalty...they should all be demoted to the rank of the crazy tramp passed out in the gutter...

A Army Of (Cl)One said...

That's no frog!!!! It is Master Yoda in his youth. Oh the fragmanity of it all.

Evil Spock said...

You and your colleagues are lucky Evil Spock is too young to run in 2008.

Dr. Zaius said...

Listen, Professor Xavier, the only reason I wear have to shades is because my political future is so bright.

I heard about a guy that lost over 200 pounds of dead weight - he got a divorce!

It's OK for Samurai Frog to eat forg's legs because he is not really a frog. He is a puppet made of flocking, latex and the broken dreams of a cruel and heartless taskmaster. Down with the Monkerstein Power Pagoda!