The Ole Meet-N-Greet

“The campaign is going along swimmingly, Jon,” Professor Xavier, my campaign manager told me. “The next item on our agenda is a meet-and-greet. Go out and press the flesh, shake a few hands, kiss a few babies. It’s very grass roots.”

“Good idea,” I said. “Kiss a few hands, shake a few babies…”

“Ah no, Jon, it’s the other way around.”

“Of course,” I answered.

“So we have you scheduled to make an appearance in your hometown of Chicago,” the Professor continued. “This is a good place to start, people love the local hero.”

“Great idea,” I said enthusiastically.

Here's a handsome baby. He gets a kiss.

Here's another good looking little boy. I bet his parents sure are proud.
Here's a beautiful baby. He looks kind of tired, but he gets a kiss.

Here's a cute little girl right next to a nice doggy. Here's a kiss for you.

Here's another sweet, innocent little girl. Look at her all bundled up there, she gets a kiss.

Here's another beautiful little kid. I'll definitely kiss her once I can find a spot that's not covered in birthday cake.

Ah, well, I think this guy's a little too young to kiss. I'm talking about the physical impossibilities of it and all.

Thank you, ladies and gentlemen for this opportunity. Remember, I am your candidate who is a man of action. Whether it's defeating Abi the Butcher in the Intergalactic Gladiatorial arena or pushing that bill through congress, I am your candidate who will make America a place of the people, by the people, and amongst the people, for the people.

A vote for Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator is a vote for freedom. A vote for Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator is a vote for progress. I'm Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator and I approve of this message.