Friday, May 30, 2008

This is Xavier's brain, this is Xavier's brain on the floor, any questions?

I saw Professor Xavier’s brain fly through the air as I crashed to the deck of Nemonok’s ship. I felt the agony of defeat as gooey brain matter splattered all over. The walls, the deck, on the furniture, on Wolverine. It was a mess and I felt defeated in a way that I had never felt before.

Nemonok, still affected by the neural attack laughed giddily.

“You have failed to rescue your precious Xavier, you sillies! Evil will always win because good is clumsy!”

Then a most unusual feeling came over me. Something like my underwear being turned inside out with me still wearing it, but not quite. Something kind of like being a 7-year-old child and having an ice cream cone taken away, but not quite. Something like trying to swim up a current with a cinderblock tied to my ankle, but again not quite. It felt kind of like going back in time between 10 and 15 seconds, but that didn’t seem right, either.

Captain Koma shouted “Stop!”

“What the hell is it?” I shouted while holding up the brain pan with Xavier’s brain in it. “Are you trying to make me drop the Professor?”

“Ha! Just the opposite, actually!” he called out triumphantly. “It’s a good thing Nemonok has an Omega 13 installed.”

“An Omega 13?”

“It’s a device that sends everything back 13 seconds,” Koma explained.

“Well of course, I know that,” I replied quickly. “Still, 13 seconds? That’s not much.”

“It’s enough to redeem a single mistake,” answered Koma with a smirk. “Such as splattering Xavier’s brains all over the deck. Now let's go.”

“Thirteen seconds back into the past?” Wolverine stepped towards us while scratching the top of his head. “Big deal.”

“Well, it’s a pretty good defensive measure,” I replied. “You wind up firing at someone who won’t be there for another 13 seconds. There’s a certain element of surprise to it.”

“Yeah, well 13 seconds still ain’t a whole flamin’ lot, I’m sayin,” Wolverine harrumphed.

“Yes, well it was just enough to save my life,” Xavier’s brain called out.

“Charles, is that you?” Emma Frost asked.

“Yes, I am of course communicating to everyone psionically as I now lack a mouth to speak,” he answered. “Thank you for this daring rescue and thank you Captain Koma for preventing this clumsy oaf from dropping me.”


“Ha ha ha ha! You still haven’t won, fools!” Nemonok’s brain tank careened past us. “I’m going to get all my evil psychiatrist friends together and we’ll make a band and then we’ll show you what evil’s all about! I’ll play the bongos, Dr. Membranos will bring the nachos, it'll be a cool time.”

Nemonok’s brain tank continued to spin out of control until it slammed into a computer terminal. Sparks flew and gurgling noises erupted.

“Wow, man what a ride.”

“This still isn’t over!” Nemonok’s main squeeze Gun Nut popped out of the shadows with a heavy blaster in hand.

“For you it is!” Chroma replied and sent the mohawked assasin sprawling to the ground with a steel-handed punch.

“And on that note, let’s go,” Koma smirked. He thumbed the controls of his teleporter and we instantly found ourselves back on board the Shi’Ar ship. Medical technicians rushed up and grabbed the Professor’s brain and body and hurried off with Koma rushing after them followed by Chroma and Emma Frost.

That left the rest of us with nothing really to do, Iceman and I looked at each other and shrugged.

“Now what?” Wolverine grunted impatiently.

I casually wandered off towards a gunner’s station and listened in on the operator’s conversation.

“Station Four reporting. I still have a weapon’s lock on the enemy vessel. The vessel is not moving.”

“Do not fire,” a voice crackled over the comm back to him. “That ship is still disabled and the Queen will not allow an intergalactic incident.”

“All loaded up and no place to go, huh?” I asked offhandedly.

“Pfft, yeah,” the gunner grumbled. “I got the thing dead to rights. And you just know that if they get an ounceling of power back, they’ll just go straight back to stealth mode and disappear.”

“Yeah, that’s what they always do, all right,” I chuckled. “This looks a lot like the M5 Powertron Pulse Cannon I used to shoot back in the ol’ space navy days. Pretty sweet.”

“Yeah, well it’s been quite a few years since we’ve had the M5’s,” he answered. “This thing’s got a heavier wattage + damage ratio, low dispersal rate, and a better cycling and cooling system.”

“Cool,” I replied with just a little awe. “And this readout shows your target lock?”

“Uh huh,” He nodded.

“And this is the fire button, right?”

“Yeah, but you don’t want to press that,” he replied quickly. “You know, Commander’s orders and all.”

“Oh yeah, you wouldn’t want to fire…” I said.

Quickly before he could stop me, I slammed my hand on the firing button. A blast of powerful energy lanced across space and slammed full into Nemonok’s ship. It instantly erupted into a ball of flame.

“…But I would,” I grinned.

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Professor Xavier's Brain is Still Missing!

The brain.

Professor Xavier’s brain.

As I watched it sail through the air, I thought of the –what, last 30 or so minutes that just occurred right in front of me.

I thought back to landing on the deck of that Shi’ar craft and seeing Captain Koma’s partner Chroma just about take the head off the Scarlet Witch. They were quickly separated by a lightning bolt and a warning from Storm.

“See, this is why I like to work alone,” I whispered to Cyclops who was standing next to me.

“Why, because you can’t shoot lightning bolts out of your hands?” he asked.

I clasped my hand to my forehead.

Xavier’s brain was still in the air, it seemed like it was just floating there, my own brain was racing back to mere moments after that altercation.

Queen Lilandra of the Shi’ar Empire had appeared practically at Earth’s doorstep. I knew Xavier’s brain and Dr. Nemonok were just a few hundred feet away in Nemonok’s own craft. I also knew that it wouldn’t last a moment against this battle cruiser. I had to get her to stand down.

“My Queen,” I bowed slightly as to acknowledge her place. “As an authorized deputy of the throne of Queen Galacta IX and Her galaxy, it is my duty to… request that you stand down your battleship and return to your own galaxy, stellar quadrant, or nearest side dimension of convenience.”

“Galacta knows full well why I am here.” Lilandra held aloft an official document. “As Charles Xavier is my consort, I am well within my rights established by the Pan Galactic Treaty of New Betel. I hereby claim dominion over Charles Xavier and all that is his, namely his brain.”

“Er, OK,” I answered. Nuts, I’m outgunned.

“Your majesty if we may,” spoke up Emma Frost. “Allow us to recapture Xavier’s brain for you. You could demand its return to engage their attention as we sneak aboard that ship.”

“Very well,” she agreed after the briefest deliberation. “You have but this one opportunity. Do not fail, or I shall have to send in my own troops and I assure you, they will not.”

“Sweet, I’m gonna make a brain-ke-bob outta that Nemonok,” Wolverine growled as he popped his trademark claws.

“Yeah, but how are we getting over there?” asked Iceman.

“Please allow me,” Captain Koma answered with a flourish of his hand.

The brain. All this over one brain. One remarkable brain, capable of so much more than any ordinary person’s. And it hung there in the air. The Professor’s life, as all of our own hung in the balance along with it.

Instant henchmen instantly sprung up around us when we teleported into the craft and the X-Men and Chroma instantly engaged them. I took out one with a headshot from trusty Betsy, my blaster pistol. I looked around the melee and saw Captain Koma slip towards Dr. Nemonok.

“Eat this,” the Australian spat as he fired his weapon at the evil psychiatrist.

“Ha ha,” the brain floating in the jar laughed back. “Your neural weapon cannon harm me, my containment jar is resistant to such paltry attacks.”

Koma shrugged slightly and fired once, twice, three times more at the floating brain.

“Foolish human, I told you that your weapon cannot—whoa…” his voice got deeper and slower. “Hey, I can see my voice. My voice. My… voice... Hey can you see that, man? That’s real cool. Look at the colors.”

As everyone’s attention turned towards Nemonok, I found Xavier’s brain sitting in a shallow dish and plugged into the ship’s computer system.

“Hold on,” I said. “I’ll get you out.”

I’ve never seen a brain smile before but I could almost swear that this one did right then and there. I’d prefer to think that it didn’t though, a smiling brain just sounds too creepy.

I quickly unhooked the cabling connecting his brain to the ship and lifted it. I hoisted the pan and its contents away from the console, suspension fluid sloshed from side to side along the way.

His brain, in my hands.

I quickly turned to make my way clear of the fighting. Maybe I could beam back to the Shi’Ar ship or maybe Koma could teleport me away, but I had the brain and it would soon be safe.

But then I tripped.

And the brain sailed high into the air, away from the pan, away from my reach. I saw it arc gently as I felt the ship’s gravity claim my own body and pull it to the deck.

“Oh shi-----!”

Friday, May 23, 2008

Xavier's brain is Missing!

After my little aerial engagement with Nemonok, I decided to fly to the Xavier’s Mansion to hook up with the X-Men. Along the way, I saw the charred fuselage of their Blackbird jet smoldering on the ground. I quickly landed and ran up to the site of the wreckage. Looks like their plane got shot down again but I didn’t see any X-Men here though.

“That damned bitch, where did she go?” I heard a shout. I turned and saw Captain Koma standing there with his fists balled up in impotent rage. Some woman was standing next to him with her arms crossed and a perturbed look on her face.

“Koma!” I ran up to him. Yeah, I know Koma’s a villain but I honestly haven’t heard anything about him in like two years. Plus he’s Australian; the Land Down Under isn’t my usual stomping grounds. “Hey what’s going on?”

Koma begrudgingly explained that he was in the X-Jet with the X-Men when it was shot down. He then went on to explain that the Scarlet Witch met up with the group and She elected to take them to Xavier’s brain. Instead, it seems, she teleported them all over the world, then dumped off Koma and his companion here and disappeared completely. He ended his tirade with one more curse aimed at the magical mutant.

“I was just fighting Nemonok a short while ago,” I explained. “I damaged his ship but he warped away. Fortunately, it was a space fold and my ship’s sensors were able to track where he warped to. His ship’s on the outer reaches of this solar system.”

“Well let’s go get him,” Koma growled.

“There’s room for two more on the Danger Sled.” I threw a thumb back towards my ship.

“Then let’s go,” the woman said.

We quickly roared into the upper reaches of the atmosphere and headed on an intercept course with Nemonok’s ship. Once in flight, Koma introduced me to his companion Chroma and explained her ability to turn into living metal.

“Hey, that’s pretty cool,” I said. “I bet when you’re metal, you don’t have to worry about needing a sports bra or anything, huh?”

Behind my back, Chroma made some sort of gesture at me though I couldn’t see it as I looked at my scopes. From the copilot’s seat, Koma calmed her down with a placating gesture.

“When you’re done insulting her,” he said icily, perhaps you could tell us how long it’ll take us to get there.”

“Oh we’ll be there real fast,” I answered. “The only problem is, we won’t be alone. Sensors have picked up a battle cruiser in the area. If Nemonok’s calling in reinforcements, Earth may be in a lot of trouble.”

“Your sensors indicate that it’s a Shi’Ar craft,” Koma said while looking at the scopes from his position.

“Well that certainly makes things interesting,” I muttered.

“The Shi’Ar?” Chroma asked.

“Yeah, a race of bird people,” Koma explained. “They’ve got a pretty big galactic empire and oh yeah, Xavier and their queen have the hots for each other.”

“I can imagine why they’re here, then,” she replied with a guffaw.

“Yeah well, we’ll be face to face with them soon enough,” I muttered. “They’ve got us in a tractor beam.”

The Danger Sled shuddered as the warship’s beams pulled and guided us to its docking bay.

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Happy Blogoversary

Look at that! It’s my third blogversary and it just snuck up on us like that. I’ve been blogging here since May 20, 2005 and you know what that means? I need to get out more.

More importantly, it means that we need to celebrate. Go ahead and get yourself a drink. Make it a Yo Joe Cola or a glass of Champagne, I’ll wait.

Alright, as is my custom, let’s take a look back at my last few blogversaries, shall we?

On Throneworld, in the throne room of the Queen of the Galaxy, an unusual cast of characters gather. The group includes Private Hudson, Jan the Intergalactic Gladiator, Major Rocksun, Royal Technician Lombarr, and Queen Galacta IX herself, of course.

I took a deep breath and stepped through the doors and into the room. My heals made a distinct and echoing clacking sound as I strode across the regal floor towards the Queen’s ornate seat.

I gave a quick bow “Your majesty.”

“Welcome once again, Gladiator,” the Queen acknowledged. “To what do we owe this honor?”

“Queen Galacta,” I paused and turned to the others. “Major Rockson, Private Hudson, Jan, Lombarr and everybody else here, this is a special day. A very special day.”

“What is it?” asked Jan.

“What could it be?” asked Rocksun.

“Is it V-Day?” asked Hudson. “Or D-Day? Or VD-Day?”

“VD-Day?” grimaced Jan. “Ew.”

“Nope,” I grinned. “It’s my second Blogoversary!”

“Wow,” Jan said. “Congratulations.”

“Thank you, thank you,” I said. “Lombarr, would you be so kind as to throw up last year’s Blogoversary post on the telemonitor?”

“Certainly.” Lombarr threw a switch and the post showed up on the viewer.

Along the way, we found Hudson.

"Tractor beam off?" I asked Hudson.

"Sure is," he replied. "I took out some troops along the way, too."


"Yup," he nodded. "Totally quiet and sneaky-like. I am like Snake Eyes, a stone cold totally quiet killer. They never saw me coming."

"So you're silent but violent?" I asked.

"You got it," he grinned, full of pride.

I stopped.

"Wait a minute, what's today's date?"

"You mean on Earth, or the Queen's Galactic Calendar?" asked Jan.

"On Earth," I replied. I dialed up the calendar on my Wristcomm. "Hey, it's May 19th!"

"So?" shrugged Hudson.

"Tomorrow is my one year blogoversary!" I answered, allowing for more excitement than my current situation should allow.

"Oh, well, happy blogoversary," said Hudson.

"Yes, happy blogoversary," smiled Jan. Then she looked down. "I don't have a blog."

"Maybe some day you will," I answered. "Hey, why don't we take a look at my first post."

Jan and Hudson nodded in agreement and I called up my blog on my Wristcomm, then went to the first entry:

I fought Lord EyeBorg today (I believe "Lord" is an honorarium, he does not actually lord over anything). Though he is easily 30 years my senior and no match for my strength, his cybertetic claw and optic laser blast make him a tough opponent to be sure. After battling back and forth for over an hour, I finally got a solid punch in. The force of my strike sent him sprawling and he was stunned long enough for me to pluck his laser-firing eyepiece from it's socket.

Holding the weapon aloft, I yelled to the crowd "The 'eyes' have it!" The audience was beside itself, roaring and cheering my victory.

Victory, thy taste is sweet.

"That was... nice," Jan said.

"I liked that action hero line," Hudson smiled. "The eyes have it! The eyes have it! The eyes have it!"

"Yeah, well, sometimes I need work on those lines." I looked out past the fourth wall. "I want to thank everyone who's visited me here for the past year. You know who you are, go on stand up and give yourselves a big hand. Great. Now, just the ladies. Now just the men. Now just the men pretending to be ladies. Ha, I got you! Now you two in the back! Go on, stand up and clap."

Thank you.

“That was splendid” said the Queen.

“Thank you,” I said. “And thanks to all my Junior Intergalactic Gladiators out there. You’re the reason I’m doing this. Give yourselves a round of applause and keep watching the skies!”

Cool. I had a lot of fun writing the blog this year and I’ve want to thank all of my new Junior Intergalactic Gladiators that have found their way here as well as the ole faithful who’ve been around already. Thanks for stopping by these past twelve months; you make this old Intergalactic Gladiator proud. Go on, give yourselves a hand.

Like I said, this year’s been fun and there were quite a few happenings along the way: Jan had a great adventure with the Bandit, I saved Dr. Zaius from a giant Jimmy Olsen robot, I started up the Separated at Birth Series and the iDoodles, and I took a picture of a deer peeing. Oh yeah, I’m also running for president. So tell me, what was your favorite Intergalactic Gladiator moment from this past year? Go on, I’m listening…

Monday, May 19, 2008


I was upon Dr. Nemonok’s stealthship in no time. I quickly intercepted it and fired at it with my ship’s cannons.

“Dr. Nemonok, this is Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator,” I called out over the radio. “Surrender your ship and you will not be destroyed.”

“Very well, Gladiator. There’s just one thing… this!”

“Nice try, but I marked you with those last shots,” I replied. “Going stealth won’t hide you from my sensors.”

“That is quite the sneaky trick, old friend. I suppose that I will have to dispose of you the old fashioned way.”

Nemonok’s ship turned over in the air and he fired his own energy weapons at me. I dodged and weaved and avoided the retaliation, then let him have a few more shots to let him know I mean business.

“I’m serious, Nemonok,” I announced. “Land your craft or I’ll force you down.”

“You won’t knock me out of the skies so easily, fool. You do realize the precious cargo that I am carrying, don’t you?”

“I imagine that it’s a couple cans of dome wax for that big jar of yours.” My comm system pinged my with another message. “Hold on.”

“What? You’re in the middle of aerial combat with me and you just decide to take another call?”

“I said hold please.” I clicked him off and brought up the message. Why it’s a meme from that fowl dog of an ape, Dr. Zaius. I suppose that I have no choice but to answer it.

* The rules of the game get posted at the beginning.

* Each player answers the questions about himself or herself.

* At the end of the post, the player then tags five people and posts their names, then goes to their blogs and leaves them a comment, letting them know they’ve been tagged and asking them to read your blog.

1. Ten years ago I was:

Well, I wasn’t an Intergalactic Gladiator, that’s for sure. I was merely gladiating for state and local municipalities.

2. Five Things on Today's To Do List:

Hmm, get Paxton to daycare.
Get Kiera to school.
Get to work
Do work
Get home

3. Things I'd do if I were a billionaire:

I would produce Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator: The Movie. Come on, you know you’d want to see that.

4. Three Bad Habits:

I am awfully cluttered. I’m not a slob per se, but there’s just a lot of stuff that needs to be cleaned up.
I sometimes get annoyed with some of the characteristics that my daughter Kiera displays despite the fact that they’re very much like my own.
BrickBreaker on my Wirstcomm.

5. Five Places I've lived:

Chicago, IL; Charleston, IL; Istanbul, Ft Bragg, NC, Ft. Gordon GA

6. Five Jobs I've had in life:

• Intergalactic Gladiator
• Single Channel Radio Operator/ Satellite Radio Operator/maintainer
• PR Intern
• Inspector of Weights and Measures for the State of Illinois
• Pizza delivery
Let’s see, who shall I tag? Novi, Professor X (I know you’re just a brain in a jar right now, just do your best), Vegeta, Captain Koma, and Ciera.

With that little bit of business out of the way, I turned my full attention to my dogfight with Nemonok, only to discover that there was some sort of energy bubble envelop my nemesis. Before I could do anything else, the craft completely disappeared off my scopes.

Blast, he warped away.

Friday, May 16, 2008

Out of the Great Melting Pot and into the fire!

I reached the top floor of the Statue of Liberty and stopped in awe at the sight in front of me.

“You’re me!” I blurted.

“A simple illusion with the technology at my disposal,” Kang sneered. He clicked a hidden switch on his belt buckle and his face reverted back to his purple helmed whatever that is that he wears. “After I kill you, I’ll easily take your place.”

I dove out of the way of his energy blasts and scampered up the arm of the statue towards the torch. I was near the top when I looked up and saw that Kang was already there.

“What? Aw nuts.”

“Yes, aw nuts to you,” he replied, his voice overflowing with contempt. “You cannot escape me. This will soon be over.”

I scampered up to the observation deck and pulled out my pistol on him.

“Yeah, all over for you,” I replied as I aimed it square at him.

“Didn’t we already determine that your weapon cannot harm me?” He sighed. “You are but like a fly, buzzing around the giant to me.”

“Yeah well this fly’s got a sting.” Before he had a chance to react, I feigned with the pistol then punched him in the gut with my free hand. I then wrenched his belt buckle off. With a pop and a crackle of energy, his futuristic armor powered down.

“What? Noooo!” Kang howled. His howling stopped when I punched him in the face.

“You’re just like all the other two-bit wanna be dictators from the future,” I said as I added another couple punches. “You’re all talk and without your fancy gear, you can’t back it up.”

“My armor! You’ll pay for your insolence!” The would-be conqueror dove at me with his arms outstretched.

“Seriously, you guys always put the controls in the belt buckle. You’re just asking for trouble.” I countered his clumsy attack and flipped him over me. He tumbled over the guardrail, just barely grabbing hold of it.

“Ah! Save me!”

“Oh sure.” I crossed my arms in front of my chest. “You were all bluster before, but now that you’re about to fall to your doom, it’s all ‘please Jon save me! I don’t wanna die!’ It’s sad really.”


“OK.” I reached for him, then pulled back. “Wait, who’s to say that you’re not going to turn around and sabotage my campaign again once I save you?”

“I won’t! I promise!” he pleaded.

“Cross your heart? Oh, I guess you can’t do that right now, huh?” I replied. “How do I know I can trust you?”

“I give you my word!”

“Yeah, but you’re villain, how do I know you’ll honor your word?”

“Honest,” he gulped. “I promise to leave you alone and never ever interfere with you again. I promise!”


“Yes,” He nodded desperately. “I swear, you and I shall never cross paths again, unless you do something like join the Avengers, I can’t stand those pompous jerks.”

“Oh, all right,” I reached out and grabbed his arm. “Dude, you weigh a ton. What do you eat in the future, Sarah Lee brand bowling balls?”

“Shut up and pull me up,” Kang gritted his teeth. The material in his jacket began to rip.

“Stop squirming,” I winced with the effort. “Just hold on.”

Suddenly, the sleeve of Kang the Conqueror’s jacket ripped away in my hand. Kang plummeted screaming.

“Nooooooo! Not again! Agggghhhhhh!!!!”

My ship the Danger Sled floated up next to me as I watched Kang fall to the earth below. Without anything else to do, I hopped into it and took a look at the readings from the sensors. As I had hoped, the ship’s sensors were able to track Dr. Nemonok’s stealthship as it crisscrossed the planet. It was now airborne and nearby in upstate New York.

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

The thick plot thickens even more!

Professor Xavier’s brain has been kidnapped and I knew that I had to spring into action. I quickly dialed up my trusty Danger Sled from my Wristcomm and I would soon be rocketing into the sky.

My spaceplane responded to my signal and would soon land at Ellis Island. But before it could get here, someone stepped in front of me.

“Hey, nice purple helmet there, Billy,” I said. “Does it come with a Wiffleball and bat?”

“You will not call me Billy,” he stated. “You will call me your master, Kang the Conqueror!”

“Kang? What are you doing here?” I asked. “In fact, who are you?”

“Uh hello, evil conquering warlord from the future here,” he replied with a snappy edge to his voice. “I’m here to stop your campaign once and for all!”

“Wait a minute,” I replied as things started to fall into place. “You’re the one who hired Zartan and Mystique, aren’t you?”

“Of course,” he replied. “Though I did not tell one that I hired the other, I thought the photos would look more authentic that way.”

“Aha!” I pointed my finger up. “So you hired them to discredit me so you could take over the United States yourself. Oh that’s an evil plan. Bad time traveling conqueror, shame on you!”

“Yes well, it was a nice plan while it lasted,” he admitted. “Too bad things turned out the way they did. I guess that I’ll just have to take your place myself and win the election, also myself.”

“Wait, so I do win the election?” I said. “That is tres cool, which mean three cool.”

“Yeah, well that’s kind of a complex answer,” he replied as he rubbed the back of his head. “It’s a possible future, but there are many divergent paths. Time travel is very complicated, more complicated than I could ever explain to the likes of you.”

“Hey I get it, man,” I said as I jammed my thumb into my chest. “I’m a Multiversal Lynchpin.”

“And you’ll soon be a dead Multiversal Lynchpin.” With a flourish of his arm, Kang fired a beam of energy at me. The impact of the blast sent me flying, crashing through the glass window to the gift shop.

“Not cool, way not cool!” I retaliated by throwing armloads of souvenir Statue of Liberty paper weights at him. He deflected them with a brush of his arm.

“My shields can withstand anything that you can throw at me,” he sneered. “Can you withstand this?”

He hoisted me up and threw me again, deeper into the closed Statue of Liberty. I skidded across the marble floor, the wind rushing out of my lungs from the impact.

“You’re such a charmer,” I gasped. “I bet you say that to all the ladies.”

“Funny.” Kang aimed his finger at me to fire another blast, but was forced to erect his force field again as I fired at him with my blaster pistols.

“So tell me,” I shouted as I fired again and again while on my back. “You teaming up with Nemonok to take Xavier’s brain, too?”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” he replied as he deflected my shots.

“I hate it when master plans overlap,” I muttered. “Why can’t you guys just come up with a plan, let me defeat you , and then give me a little time to take a break, you know like a week maybe, then let someone else try?”

“Stop your foolish babbling and die!” he howled as he shot at me again.

I rolled out of the way of the blast, jumped up to my feet and ran into a waiting elevator. I grinned and crossed my arms in triumph.

“You won’t get away from me that easily!”

“Screw you,” I replied. I then saw that I hadn’t hit a button yet and quickly pressed the top one. The doors slid shut as Kang stalked towards me.

Sunday, May 11, 2008


I was still on Ellis Island trying to figure out my next move. From Cyclops, I go the lowdown of what was happening at Xavier’s Institute. Apparently my old friend Dr. Nemonok (and by old friend, I am being sarcastic, of course, I can’t stand that bodiless bastard) had absconded with Professor Xavier’s brain, Captain Koma had teleported there and was now fixing some sort of contraption to Xavier’s brainless body to control it until… Until when, I don’t know. I assume we’ll just have to get that brain back and get it into his body. I can help out with the first part of that, of course, but the second isn’t exactly my forte. I’m not what you’d call a brain scientist.

Somehow, this seems like some sort of lame episode of some bad Sci Fi show.

My thoughts were interrupted by the pinging on my Wristcomm. I looked at the message and saw that it came from TX. Dammit, she’s that fracking cyborg Terminator from the future. She tagged me with a meme?

Frack. I quickly wiped my Wristcomm and zugged it out completely. If she gets into this thing, who knows what kind of a nuisance she’d be. Fortunately, my Wirstcomm syncs with Outlook on my ship’s maincomputer. I’ll lose all my messages and contacts on the device but at least I’ll be able to reload them.

Here we go.

The rules:
Must post the rule.
Must link back to the person whose blog-birthday it is...
Must post comment when you are done

What to do:
Fill out the following:
01] I loathe Sky.
02]Sky is a cybernetic pestilence.
03] If I were in a room with Sky, I would ask her if she wants a glass of juice.
04] I think Sky should log off.
05] Sky needs nothing really, I think.
06] I want to do the Charleston with Sky.
07] Someday Sky will forget to recharge her batteries.
08] Sky reminds me of a Terminiatrix and Species smooshed into one.
09] Without Sky teh intenets would be safe.
10] My memories of Sky are filled with dirty, dirty thoughts.
11] Sky can be a real lasertronic technothelonic abdoirnoix.
12] The worst thing about Sky is that whole evil Terminator thing.
13] The best thing about Sky is that good side she sometimes shows.
14] I am sometimes partying with Sky.
15] One thing I would like to know about Sky is who does her hair?
16] Sky should go and return to the future.
17] Sky lusts after me
18) What I like best about Sky's blog is that scrolly thing at the top.
19) What I dislike about Sky's blog is it wants to sing to me, what is this mySpace?
20) My favorite post from Sky is her blogversary.

Friday, May 09, 2008

iDoodle again!

Darth Nepharia wanted to see a doodle of her beating the pants off of Darth Vader.

Well there you go.

Don't forget to look at my post over at Sci Fi Fantasy Loving Blog.

And don't forget to check out Last Gladiator Standing III.

Wednesday, May 07, 2008

iDoodle doodle, the cat and the poodle

I haven't iDoodled in a while. I'm totally up for one today, how about you?

First person to comment with an iDoodle idea gets an iDoodle doodled.

But before that, there's a new reality show in town, Last Gladiator Standing III. Go check it out now, there are still a few slots left for participants, so if you want in send me an email.

Update! Hot Stuff wants a picture of himself as a gladiator. Aw, isn't that cute, he's got one of those helmets on!

Nepharia, I'll hook you up too. Leave me a suggestion.

Sunday, May 04, 2008

Where in the World is Professor Xavier?

I stepped away from the podium and looked around. It seemed like everywhere I turned, there was a microphone pointed at me or someone in a fedora barking a question. I couldn’t answer them now. Something’s not right here, I can feel it.

Professor Xavier didn’t even show up to the press conference that he set up. It’s possible that he’s busy with my campaign or attending to business at his school, but it didn’t seem likely to me. On top of that, if he was too busy to be here, I’m sure I would still feel his mental presence, something that I can’t detect right now. Without anything else to do, I dialed up his school to see if he was actually there or if they knew where he was.

“Xavier’s School for Higher Learning, Cyclops, er Professor Summers speaking,” came the answer.

“Cyclops, good to hear from you,” I said. “It’s Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator. I’m here at Liberty Island and Professor Xavier doesn’t seem to be around. Is he there?”

“Oh my gosh, he is,” he replied. “But you’re not going to believe this.”

“What is it?” I asked.

“Professor Xavier’s brain is missing!” Cyclops replied dramatically.

“Missing? You mean like he’s gone or something?”

Cyclops explained “No, the Professor is here, right in his study, but his brain is gone. It’s been, like, cut out of his head.”

“Holy cow!” I exclaimed. “Are you serious?”

“I am,” he asserted. “I was there with him and I was talking to him about my issues with Jean Grey and Emma Frost and Madeline Pryor and he was just sitting there saying nothing, so I started talking about how I loved Jean so much but then how I kissed Audrey Hanson and—”

“Wait, do you mean Agent Audrey Hanson?” I interrupted.

“Yeah, her,” Cyclops answered.

“Agent Audrey Hanson, FBI?”

“Yeah her,” he said. “We were on that game show Sylar’s Bachelor together and then we kissed.”

“OK, I don’t think I needed to hear that,” I said.

“With tongue,” the mutant clarified.

“I’m sure I didn’t need to hear that,” I added.

“But then I heard that she slipped me a Mikey.”

“You mean a Mickey,” I corrected.

“Who’s Mickey?” he asked.

“Never mind that, what about the Professor?”

“No wait, how do you know Agent Hanson?” he asked.

“Yeah her,” I said. “Small world, huh? She was assigned to protect me just a little while ago, but then she got called away to help out on a Die Hard Scenario.”

“Oh yeah, Die Hard, I love that movie,” said the man who must always wear ruby quartz eyewear to stop his uncontrollable optic blasts. “Yippee ki yay, mother, uh…”

“Right, well thank you for helping me out with that dangling plot thread there,” I said. “But what about the Professor?”

“Oh yeah, I can’t stand dangling threads,” he replied. “If I have one on my uniform, sometimes I burn it off with a lighter. But don’t tell Jean that I have a lighter, OK?”

“OK, OK,” I sighed. “The Professor. What happened to Professor Xavier’s brain? You said it’s gone.”

“Oh yeah right, so I was talking to the Professor you know, relationship stuff,” he explained. “And then I notice that there’s a little dab of drool coming out of the corner of his mouth and then that’s when I looked closer and saw that his head was cut open. His body’s here, but his brain’s gone, Jon.”

“How long did it take you to figure this out about his brain?”

“I don’t know, ten or fifteen minutes, I guess.” I could almost see him shrugging with the reply.

“Well, does he usually just sit there quietly for fifteen minutes while you talk about your relationship problems?” I asked.

“Well sure,” he replied. “Sometimes longer I think.”

“And he doesn’t yell at you to shut up or anything?” I also asked.

“Well no, but I think sometimes he mentally sends me away,” he said. “Like sometimes I just wake up back in my room or something and I wonder how I got there. Wait a minute, Jean Grey, Emma Frost, Madeline Pryor, and Psycloche all have mental powers. I dated all of them. Are they a surrogate for my relationship with the Professor?”

“I wouldn’t know,” I answered. “I only took like three credits worth of psychology in college.”

I heard a heavy exhale over the phone. “Does that mean that I actually want to date Professor Xavier?”

“Honestly Cyclops? I don’t know,” I replied. “I have to tell you, the more you’re talking about it, the more it’s turning my stomach right now.”

“I love Professor Xavier,” Cyclops announced. “There I said it. Wow, I feel so much better now.”

I screamed in my head mentally. I almost pounded my head against the wall, but I didn’t think the wonderful caretakers of this area want to clean up bloodstains off their nice building.

“I don’t want to hear this,” I said slowly and carefully to him.

“Well, I don’t mean love as in the way a man loves a woman,” Cyclops said. “It’s like a platonic love. Wait a minute, if all the women that I’ve dated are surrogates of the Professor, maybe the Professor’s a surrogate of the father I never had because my dad flew off into outer space to become a space pirate. Wow, it’s mind boggling.”

“You aren’t kidding,” I exhaled. “OK, I’ve gotta go. I mean I’ve really gotta go, if I listen to any more of this I might just, I don’t know what I’d do. I just gotta go. I’ll start looking for clues, keep me updated if you hear anything.”

“OK, I will Jon,” Cyclops agreed. “This is Cyclops over and out.”

The line went silent as he hung up the phone on his end.

Great, on top of everything else going on around here, I’m probably going to have to find Professor Xavier’s brain now, too.