Out of the Great Melting Pot and into the fire!

I reached the top floor of the Statue of Liberty and stopped in awe at the sight in front of me.

“You’re me!” I blurted.

“A simple illusion with the technology at my disposal,” Kang sneered. He clicked a hidden switch on his belt buckle and his face reverted back to his purple helmed whatever that is that he wears. “After I kill you, I’ll easily take your place.”

I dove out of the way of his energy blasts and scampered up the arm of the statue towards the torch. I was near the top when I looked up and saw that Kang was already there.

“What? Aw nuts.”

“Yes, aw nuts to you,” he replied, his voice overflowing with contempt. “You cannot escape me. This will soon be over.”

I scampered up to the observation deck and pulled out my pistol on him.

“Yeah, all over for you,” I replied as I aimed it square at him.

“Didn’t we already determine that your weapon cannot harm me?” He sighed. “You are but like a fly, buzzing around the giant to me.”

“Yeah well this fly’s got a sting.” Before he had a chance to react, I feigned with the pistol then punched him in the gut with my free hand. I then wrenched his belt buckle off. With a pop and a crackle of energy, his futuristic armor powered down.

“What? Noooo!” Kang howled. His howling stopped when I punched him in the face.

“You’re just like all the other two-bit wanna be dictators from the future,” I said as I added another couple punches. “You’re all talk and without your fancy gear, you can’t back it up.”

“My armor! You’ll pay for your insolence!” The would-be conqueror dove at me with his arms outstretched.

“Seriously, you guys always put the controls in the belt buckle. You’re just asking for trouble.” I countered his clumsy attack and flipped him over me. He tumbled over the guardrail, just barely grabbing hold of it.

“Ah! Save me!”

“Oh sure.” I crossed my arms in front of my chest. “You were all bluster before, but now that you’re about to fall to your doom, it’s all ‘please Jon save me! I don’t wanna die!’ It’s sad really.”

“Please!”

“OK.” I reached for him, then pulled back. “Wait, who’s to say that you’re not going to turn around and sabotage my campaign again once I save you?”

“I won’t! I promise!” he pleaded.

“Cross your heart? Oh, I guess you can’t do that right now, huh?” I replied. “How do I know I can trust you?”

“I give you my word!”

“Yeah, but you’re villain, how do I know you’ll honor your word?”

“Honest,” he gulped. “I promise to leave you alone and never ever interfere with you again. I promise!”

“Really?”

“Yes,” He nodded desperately. “I swear, you and I shall never cross paths again, unless you do something like join the Avengers, I can’t stand those pompous jerks.”

“Oh, all right,” I reached out and grabbed his arm. “Dude, you weigh a ton. What do you eat in the future, Sarah Lee brand bowling balls?”

“Shut up and pull me up,” Kang gritted his teeth. The material in his jacket began to rip.

“Stop squirming,” I winced with the effort. “Just hold on.”

Suddenly, the sleeve of Kang the Conqueror’s jacket ripped away in my hand. Kang plummeted screaming.

“Nooooooo! Not again! Agggghhhhhh!!!!”

My ship the Danger Sled floated up next to me as I watched Kang fall to the earth below. Without anything else to do, I hopped into it and took a look at the readings from the sensors. As I had hoped, the ship’s sensors were able to track Dr. Nemonok’s stealthship as it crisscrossed the planet. It was now airborne and nearby in upstate New York.