Friday, August 24, 2007

The Search Continues to Continue

I made a list of potential candidates because as you know, my Uncle Marv always used to say “Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator, if you’re ever in a situation where you’re running for the president of the United States, make sure you make a list of potential candidates for vice president. That way, you can go over the pros and cons of what each person brings to the table. Also, never squirt a turkey baster full of lemon juice up your nose. It stings like the dickens.”

Uncle Marv was definitely onto something with his advice. Even the lemon juice part. So I compiled a list. Here it is:

Jan the Intergalactic Aviator
Pros: She's competent, smart, and knows how to handle tough situations. Could potentially corner the female vote.
Cons: She already declined.

Private Hudson
Pros: Uh, military experience?
Cons: Everything else.

Mr. Bennet
Pros: Mr. Bennet typically exudes a quiet competence. He has a background that may or may not include a lot of work with the government. He looks good in a suit.
Cons: His brain doesn't seem to be working at full capacity right now.

Tony Stark
Pros: Long standing ties to the government and SHIELD. Former secretary of defense.
Cons: People are still sore over that whole Civil War fiasco. As Iron Man, he's likely shot people in the head before. Yes, a former secretary of defense as a vice president who shoots people in the head. Boy, I'm never going to tire of that joke, huh?

Bruce Wayne
Pros: Also a wealthy industrialist -- we can trust those people in power, right? Would be a good anti-crime candidate.
Cons: He always seems wound so tightly. instead of a heartbeat away from the presidency, he'll be a heartbeat away from a nervous breakdown.

Scott Summers
Pros: A team player.
Cons: He's kind of like Private Hudson, but without the military discipline.

These candidates definitely won't do. I need a candidate who's larger than life. Someone who's a real hero to everyone out there. Someone who can take the vice presidency and transform it into something that America can be proud of.


Jawa Juice said...

You mean…THESE are the people you have to choose from?


I’d take the lemon juice up the wazoo over them any day.

Um…except Jan. She’s got nice gams.

(… her phone number…?)

Phobia said...

Might I suggest Anakin? I mean can you et any better than him? he's the chosen one for pete's sake! one problem.. He has an ego the size of half the galaxy.. nothing a good pin won't fix

Ghost of Congressman Nathan Petrelli said...

Uhhhh. Hellooooo...

Well, actually I would make a better President than a Vice President, so never mind. (HUFF)

Ghost of Congressman Nathan Petrelli said...

On second thought, How are you feeling? Weak? Ill? Near Death?

Shiara said...

I still say your best running mate should be the one who has been your running mate for life

just replace a letter with a W

Anonymous said...

you have been nominated

Anonymous said...

not a big list

Justice said...

still say go with hudson

Anonymous said...

NOOOOO not Hudson

How about Vegeta

Jean-Luc Picard said...

I'm not sure whether Bruce Wayne would be a good choice, as he spends his spare time in a batsuit. Good for the vigilante vot, though.

Jan would definately appeal to the male voters.

Anonymous said...

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Anonymous said...

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November Rain said...

Tagged you on Novy news

A Army Of (Cl)One said...

you could always go for that guy with the droning voice who does documentraies. I think his name is Hal Gored or something. I heard he had some expirence.

Dr. Zaius said...

I say Jan the Intergalactic Aviator is still your best choice. Maybe you should be her vice president!