Wednesday, August 15, 2007

My search for a VP

“You said that you needed to talk to me, Jon?”

It was Jan the Intergalactic Aviator. And she was wearing one ridiculous outfit.

“I wanted to ask you to be my running mate,” I said. “You might want to change your wardrobe a bit though.”

“Very funny there, Groucho,” she muttered back. “What do you mean you want me to be your running mate?”

“I’m running for president.”

“Of what, the Three Stooges Fan Club?” she asked.

“Who’s the comedian now?” I replied. “No, I’m running for president of the United States and I want you to be my vice president.”

“You’re kidding.”

“I’m serious,” I insisted.

“Why me?”

“I think you’re competent,” I said. “You’re good at what you do, you’re smart, and you’ve saved the Earth, what, four times now?”

“Five, not that anyone on Earth even knows,” she smiled. “There’s something else here. Why are you really asking me?”

“I told you why,” I said. “I think you’re a great choice for VP.”

“No, really.”

“I’m serious,” I insisted. “I need a strong partner on this ticket. Do you see what I’m running against?”

“Wait a minute, I know why you want me to run,” she nodded knowingly. “It’s because Dr. Zaius has that lesbian running mate, isn’t it?”

“What? I’m shocked that you’d say that!” I said with a shocked tone in my voice.

“Right. I’m going to have to say no.”

“What? Aw come on, why not?”

“Look, I’ve got too much on my plate already,” Jan answered. “I’m already competing in this World Stop Hero Challenge or whatever the frack it’s called and I’m still trying to recoup my losses from that stupid adventure I had with that idiot Bandit.”

“Oh yeah,” I said. “I read about that.”

“Right. So read my lips: no. I do not want to be your running mate. I do not want to be a part of this race. I do not want you using me to try to get the hot lesbian vote, not that I am one, not that there’s anything wrong with it. I don’t want to be vice president.”

OK, back to the drawing board.


Son Goku said...

You could pick Hudson... Wait no. bad idea.

Phobia said...

Very bad idea.. might I suggest DJK? No one would think to cross her.. A lady with class and skills * grins*

Justice said...

why not uncle Goku Hudson is kind of cute in that I am so

um what is the word


Anonymous said...

running for president huh?
I hear it isn't all that it is cracked up to be....
Assassinations, scandals and don't forget

Monique Lewinsky

Sure it's your cup of tea? Maybe you should try running for King, if you do I might know a wizard that can give you a hand

Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

Don't worry about me, Galen. I'm not scared of Monica.

Jean-Luc Picard said...

Jan looks rather fetching in that outfit. I'm sure she'd win a few votes.

Dr. Zaius said...

Next time you try to convince her, bring the cowbell. That'll work fer sure!

Deadpool said...

How dare you try and change her outfit! Its almost as good as Emma Frost's.

A Army Of (Cl)One said...

I like the shocke dpart of you shocked voice. Very casablancaesk. You will drive away the hot lesibian vote if you choose Hudson, not to mention the not-hot lesibian vote, most of the women vote, 83% of the male vote and of course 93% of the Vote by Mail vote.