Thursday, July 19, 2007

The Star Destoryer Loomed Over Us

Guest Poster Jan the Intergalactic Aviator

Bandit and I were in the Pegasus Elite and close to getting away from Gordo the Hutt and his gang aboard the Star Destroyer Naal’taa but they were giving pursuit with their weapons charged.

“They’re in range,” Bandit said worriedly while looking through at the sensor scope. “We’re sitting ducks… like a three legged mule on Main Street.”

“That,” I replied while gritting my teeth. “Does not make sense.”

“Yeah, well it won’t matter in just a couple seconds,” Bandit shrugged. “Been nice knowing you, Jan O’Mega. You’re a real sweet gal.”

“I think that’s the first time you’ve ever called me by my name,” I answered. “That’s nice.”

“You think so, pretty lady?”

“There you go again with the ‘pretty lady’ bit,” I rolled my eyes. “And I thought we were making progress.”

“Listen to me and listen to me now, you frelling cow,” B’Sogg’s unmistakable voice rattled my com speakers. “Before you die, I wanted you to know who killed you.”

“B’Sogg?” Bandit dragged his hand down his face in a combination of wonder and disgust. “You shot him twice, he must have the constitution of a racehorse on a warp track.”

“That almost made sense,” I snorted. I then keyed the mic on the com. “B’Sogg, I don’t suppose that we could talk about this, could we?”

“Time for talk is over,” B’Sogg growled back. “Now it’s time to die.”

“I thought you rewired that ship so we could escape,” Bandit said desperately.

“I did!” I yelled back. “I don’t know what’s going on.”

Turbolaser fire began to lance out towards us from the looming capital ship. Just as I ran out of running room, the ship shot past us and leapt into warp.

Breathing heavily, Bandit uncurled his fingers from the control panel and looked at me. “You did it! I don’t know what you did, but you did it!”

“I sent it to Coruscant,” I grinned. “Imperial Center. Right in front of the fleet guarding the planet.”

Bandit laughed heartily. “Yeeehaw! You did it! We made it! Great work, Jan.”

“You know,” I laughed. “I kind of like it when you call me Jan.”

“Really?” he grinned. “What else do you like?”

“I’ll show you.” I stood up and gave him a soft kiss on his lips. The look on his face said it all.

“Jan, you’re a real surprise. I’ll tell you that.”

“I’ve got another surprise for you.” I got up and beckoned for him to follow. Like a drooling puppy, he chased after me until I reached a door. “In here.”

“Is that your--?” he strained to look. I wrapped my arms around him in a tight embrace.

“I said that I had a surprise for you.” I punched the open button and the door hissed open.

“Waitaminute, that’s a--!”

Before Bandit could finish his sentence, I quickly executed a circle throw and flipped him right into the escape pod. I then punched the button and the doors slid shut.

“What are you doing?” Bandit pounded on the small porthole. “Let me out of here!”

“I don’t know what’s worse,” My breath condensed on the window as I growled. “Your stupid get rich quick scheme or the fact that you almost got me killed with it.”

“Aw come on, let me out, sweetie,” Bandit pleaded. “I’m not from around here and I don’t have a ride home.”

“And who’s fault is that?”

“Look look look, I didn’t make any money on this venture,” he said. “At least you got half. Why don’t we talk about this over a drink? I know some Andorians who need a couple tons of radion 12! I’ll go halvsies with you, we’re a team!”

“I don’t think so,” I shook my head. “And that half that I got?”


“Should just about cover fuel and a new escape pod,” I smirked. “Don’t forget to turn on your transponder, I’m sure someone’ll pick you up soon.”

“What? Aw noooooooooooo!” Bandit yelled as I punched the launch button and the pod blasted out into space.

I watched the pod tumble away until it was just a glinting dot in the backdrop of space, then I went back to the cockpit and after verifying that his transponder was on, I set course back to my home galaxy and Orion Station. Maybe business will pick up a bit by the time I get there.


Professor Xavier said...

Something I always wondered - what the heck is a capital ship? Sounds weird.

Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

It's bigger than a lower case ship, nyuk nyuk.

Skywalker said...

A really big ship you dont mess with.

Dark Jedi Kriss said...

Poor guy looks lost in that pic.

Superman said...

Ha! good one.

Ghost of Congressman Nathan Petrelli said...

If anyone needed to be shoved into a pod and launched into space, it was the Bandit. Now that I'm growing a beard, I insist upon being the only one to look like a 70s porn star.

Kristi said...

Did I miss what happened to his partner? I'm too lazy to go back and read. :p