Monday, July 16, 2007

Our Escape

Guest Poster Jan the Intergalactic Aviator

My little trip with Bandit into this galaxy isn’t going so well. Bandit hired me to fly him and some power cores here and as it turns out, he was in turn hired by a Hutt crimelord who used the devices to create an experimental weapon that potentially could destroy its target from across the galaxy. Gordo the Hutt’s plan, it appears, was to kill us and take our ships instead of paying us for goods delivered.

His plan is going very, very well right now.

Bandit was beginning to panic as the Imperial troopers led us to the airlock. We were unarmed, outmanned, and would clearly not last a minute against these armored shock troops. I, however, have a plan of my own.

“Listen guys, I like you,” Bandit said. “You all look pretty smart and you’ve got good fashion sense. Why don’t you just let me go and I’ll just get out of your hair. Honest. You can trust me.”

“Quiet,” the lead trooper snapped.

“So you just want them to let you go?” I hissed at Bandit.

“Well I would come back for you,” he sputtered.

“I said quiet,” the trooper growled again.

“You selfish jerk! You were going to sell me out!” I yelled.

“No I wasn’t,” he insisted.

“I said quiet,” the trooper had enough and cracked the back of Bandit’s head with the butt of his rifle.

As Bandit stumbled forward, I quietly said “We’re under surveillance, aren’t we?”

“Quiet, or you’ll get the same,” the lead trooper threatened.

We resumed our walk towards the airlock when I again said quietly “Tired of taking orders from the Hutt?”

There was no response.

“Of course they’re watching us right now,” I added just as quietly.

I heard the comlink in his helmet click, but he didn’t say anything.

“I’ll get you back to the Empire,” I offered quietly.

The trooper harrumphed.

“Don’t fight back,” I whispered. “I’ll get you back.”

“I said be quiet!” the trooper took a wild swing at me with the butt of his rifle but I grabbed it and spun. Using his momentum against him, I spun the trooper right into his comrades and the whole group crashed to the ground in a pile of white armor. I still had my hands on the rifle and I quickly grabbed Bandit, who was staring at the mess with his jaw dropped open.

“Let’s go!” I pulled him down the corridor.

“You don’t have to tell me twice, sister!” Bandit cracked back as we ran to the lift.

Meanwhile, Gordo the Hutt, who watched the entire incident on the video screen surrounded by his entourage, let out an earsplitting howl.

“Get them! Kill them!” he yelled.

“I should have killed them right here!” B’Sogg growled at his employer. “But I will kill them. Do not worry about that.”

“Just go!” the crimelord howled back. B’Sogg ran from the party room followed by many of the hired guns.


Jean-Luc Picard said...

Imperial troppers don't seem to have a lot of humour.

Dark Jedi Kriss said...


Skywalker said...

A Hutt letting out an earsplitting howl can only mean he has realized he is out of beer. I suggest running or ducking.

Vegeta said...

Would what Stormtroopers normally do be counted as "fighting back?"

Darth Nepharia said...

Yes, Kriss, I agree: hutts are vile, disgusting creatures.

Professor Xavier said...

Well at least you're getting a lot of exercise.

Captain Berk said...

You should have taken The Snowman for back-up

carli said...

You seem very smart. Any idea why HBO keeps showing all 6 SW movies in whatever order they dang well feel like it? I mean, if you're gonna show Episode II one day, don't show Episode VI the next, eh?

Here from Michele, and very confused.