Tuesday, November 04, 2008

Rocking the Vote!

Good day, I’m Hector Ramirez and welcome back to 20 Questions Live.

Today on Election Day, there is a tight race for President of the United States. A race between several thoroughbreds of politics where the front runner may determine who will be champion and who will be put out to pasture.

And who is the front runner right now?

Here we are, with just over 12 hours left in the day on the East Coast and four hours more than that on the West, clearly Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator has taken an early and dramatic lead. Of course at this juncture it would be foolish to call him the victor, but it seems clear to me and the rest of the 20 Questions News Team that Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator is clearly America’s choice in this election.

Hold on. I’m getting word now that Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator is about to address his fans. Let’s see if we can get it on camera. Ok, here he is now.

Look at that! Just look at that. In this day and age of the Internet and the Interweblogbloggers, Jon goes old school and shows the actual front page of the Chicago Daily Tribune declaring him victorious over his competition. He is literally beating the monkeys, beating all of the monkeys in this presidential race.

Oh my goodness, Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator just held up another newspaper declaring that he beat the creepy old doctor that he’s running against. Isn’t it amazing, ladies and gentlemen? The excitement is so thick that you can literally taste it right now! That creepy old doctor is going to think twice about running for president after the sound thrashing he got today.

Wait! Wait! Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator’s not stopping there! He just held up an actual paper declaring that he beat the lizard. That lizard didn’t stand a chance.

The crazy old guy! The crazy old guy! Jon the Intergalactic just beat the crazy old guy. That’s one maverick that just got broken. Broken compliments of Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator.

The guy who was looking for change was just beaten by Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator. Isn’t it amazing folks? Look at me, I’m getting a little sweaty here! Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator is literally laying waste to the competition and he’s proving it by holding up these newspapers, these actual, real-life, un-doctored newspapers that are declaring him the victor. It’s a new day in America, viewers, and the man who calls himself the Man of Action has proven just that.

We’ll be right back with more election coverage. For 20 Questions Live, I’m Hector Ramirez.


Jean-Luc Picard said...

Those newspaper headlines sure defeated the opponent!

SHI said...

waiting waiting waiting

Professor Xavier said...

You better pull this off. I have a lot of money riding on this election.

Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

Captain Picard -- Yeah, if only the rest of the night went so well, huh?

Shi -- Just wait 'til next year, right?

Professor X -- Sorry about that. You're not going to make me work it off the the underground sugar mines are you?

Dr. Zaius said...

Jeepers! You beat up a guy that wanted some spare change?