Monday, February 19, 2007

Guest Speaker: Jan the Intergalactic Aviator



Thank you everyone for voting for me.

Maybe I should rephrase that. Thank you for voting for me, everyone who did vote for me. Thanks to your efforts, I just narrowly beat out a Monkeyboy and a dog to have the honor of posting on Intergalactic Gladiator.

First off, who voted for that flarging EyeBorg guy? Are you masochists or something? Perhaps your time would be better spent shoving reactor core containment rods into your ears. That would be almost as pleasant as listening to his prattling about how he “almost beat his opponent” or how he is so much more cultured than the rest of us. Seriously, what is he a lord of anyway?

So anyway, I’ve helped Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator a few times in the past. The oddest thing though is that I’ve met his former sidekick before I even met Jon. The ghost of Jo Jo the Monkeyboy visited me after Christmas last year. He was trying to act all spooky and everything (a Monkeyboy cannot pull off spooky) and he said “Jan the Intergalactic Aviator, you aren’t showing the Christmas spirit!”

So I said “Yeah, except it is two months after Christmas.”

Then he looked at his scroll and said something like “Hey, you’re right! Okeedokee something something, see you later Janny Aviator.” It was somewhat obnoxious.

Check that. It was very obnoxious.

And some of you voted for his younger brother.

Why? I mean seriously, why?

Alright, so anyway, enough of this grouching. I had an interesting story that I wanted to share. I had a pretty exciting adventure a few weeks ago. I was making a haul across the Velden sector when I was attacked by space pirates.

As you all know, the Velden sector is bordered by two black holes and you have to be careful flying that area because of it. Space pirates use the anomalies that are caused by the two collapsed stars to hide from sensors so you don’t see them coming until it’s too late.

So I was flying through that area when three pirate ships popped up on my scopes. They had two medium scouts and a refitted medium cruiser. I wasn’t worried about the scouts, the Pegasus Elite eats those things for breakfast. It was the cruiser that I was worried about.

I had few options. Desperately, I aimed my ship right between the two black holes. I knew that if I could slingshot past them, the space pirates in the cruiser would never catch me.

So I checked the calculations and fired the rockets. I knew that the with the slightest miscalculation, I would either be sucked in by the overwhelming gravity or torn in two. It was my only option though.

So I was making the run when all of a sudden – Oh wait, looks like I’m out of time for today.

Maybe I’ll finish up this story next time.

66 comments:

cooltopten said...

If ever there was a case for doing your maths at school its this.Get you maths wrong and get ripped in two ..:)

Jabafatboy said...

Talk about prattlin on about nothin. And you got the nerve ta talk about my buddy the eyeborg.

Haaaarrrummmphh !

And I use the rods every day, gotta get the hutt earwax out somehow.

Phbbbbbbbbbbtttttttt

Gyrobo said...

I've got the sudden urge to be a space pirate now!

A Army Of (Cl)One said...

Yeah, what sort of person would vote for that Eyeborg guy and some monkeyboy. Waht kind of sicko would use diffrent machines to vote more then once for both of those guys? What sort of clone ... I mean Clown would do that?

Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

Were you engaged in some sort of voter malfeasance, Tak? How could you? You're not even from Chicago!

Nightwing said...

Space pirates? Excuse my geekiness...but did they by any chance have a little telepath called River Tam? Don't hurt me! I couldn't help but ask!
Oh and I wanted Lt.Falcon, but you're just fine.
Nightwing.

Karnov said...

The Pegasus Elite looks strangely like a Cardassian Galor-Class Starship, with a racing stripe.

Jan the Intergalactic Aviator said...

The Pegasus Elite eats Galor-Class Starships for brunch.

And the racing stripe is for going that much faster.

Anonymous said...

Hello! I'm newbie in Internet, can you give me some useful links? I know only about Yahoo [url=http://yahoo.com]Yahoo[/url] http://yahoo.com Yahoo

Anonymous said...

Once you get it the game's central arrangement, you can play Texas confine 'em and ordered some of its variants. Texas Holdem is an leisurely distraction to learn, upright laborious to master. The "mastering" role is the costly on the whole, requiring library and practice. This website offers lots of articles and tools to get you started on the studying. You can practice all you want destined for disencumber in online poker rooms.

Anonymous said...

Les jeux de machines a sous en ligne sont les jeux de casino les and populaires dans un casino en ligne spout plusieurs raisons. Une des principales raisons est qu'il y a une grande variete de machines a sous.

Anonymous said...

You into the bargain dismantle you GHD Australia in hairstraightenersale.blogspot.com criterion into a modish!
Disown the compress GHD Hair Straightener for cheaphairstraightenerau.blogspot.com Boots Chaos pursuit in appreciation to you!
Because our low-priced karen millen outlet on karenmillen-outlet2012.blogspot.com boots noteworthy quyality!
Chances are you'll be cognizant nike free run shoes by nikefreerunairmax.blogspot.com of effulgent looked-for!
You can tug operate of the astonishing planchas GHD baratas on planchasghdbaratas.blogspot.com Boots!

Anonymous said...

[url=http://www.canadagoosessoldeparis.fr]canada goose paris[/url] This should offer you plenty of room at no cost.. [url=http://canadagoosehandlesalg.com]canada goose langford parka[/url]
kcljmvyz [url=http://axedirect.com]christian louboutin shoes[/url] vbwijwgu [url=http://www.doudounecanadagooseparis.fr]doudou canada goose[/url]

Anonymous said...

[url=http://www.canadagoosessoldeparis.fr]canada goose doudoune[/url] Encourage one or two vertical "leaders" and then tie down the long soft branches to horizontal that come from the central leader. [url=http://canadagoosehandlesalg.com]canada goose chateau parka[/url]
kdxgwrgu [url=http://axedirect.com]christian louboutin outlet[/url] yiyljenv [url=http://www.doudounecanadagooseparis.fr]doudoune canada goose [/url]

Anonymous said...

[url=http://www.canadagoosessoldeparis.fr]canada goose paris[/url] That is when you can pick up the best in quality for some really good prices.. [url=http://canadagoosehandlesalg.com]canada goose ontario parka[/url]
ywnmhvid [url=http://axedirect.com]christian louboutin shoe sale[/url] fiqxmzma [url=http://www.doudounecanadagooseparis.fr]doudoune canada goose [/url]

Anonymous said...

[url=http://www.canadagoosessoldeparis.fr]canada goose[/url] Other cases have been reported since. [url=http://canadagoosehandlesalg.com]canada goose langford parka[/url]
lrqwsqfy [url=http://axedirect.com]christian louboutin shoe sale[/url] tcaqzcid [url=http://www.doudounecanadagooseparis.fr]canada goose france [/url]

Anonymous said...

viagra pills viagra and alcohol - generic viagra truth

Anonymous said...

generic viagra viagra online questionnaire - viagra dosage should take

Anonymous said...

buy soma online soma muscle relaxer with alcohol - much do soma cost street

Anonymous said...

buy soma effects of soma muscle relaxer - cheapest generic soma

Anonymous said...

soma for sale soma drug dangerous - soma 84 amplifier

Anonymous said...

buy soma soma 350 mg recreational - soma withdrawal

Anonymous said...

buy soma soma san diego photography - order soma online no prescription

Anonymous said...

carisoprodol soma soma front closure bras - soma kendrick

Anonymous said...

buy soma ver argento soma online - buy soma without script

Anonymous said...

tramadol 50 mg tramadol 50 mg 100 - tramadol overdose time

Anonymous said...

buy tramadol overnight tramadol 50 mg get high - tramadol 50mg high

Anonymous said...

cialis for sale cialis online legal - cialis online cheap no prescription

Anonymous said...

buy cialis online buy cheap brand cialis - cialis daily dosage effectiveness

Anonymous said...

buy tramadol online long does tramadol high last - tramadol hcl for pain

Anonymous said...

buy tramadol online purchase tramadol usa - tramadol buy cheap no prescription

Anonymous said...

buy cialis online buy cialis online no prescription usa - generic cialis price comparison

Anonymous said...

xanax online xanax effects fertility - buy xanax online forum

Anonymous said...

alprazolam drug cheap xanax bars for sale - illegal to order xanax online

Anonymous said...

carisoprodol 350 mg buy carisoprodol online no prescription needed - how to buy carisoprodol

Anonymous said...

buy tramadol tramadol 50 mg half life - buy tramadol overnight delivery no prescription

Anonymous said...

generic xanax generic xanax pictures - xanax online legit

Anonymous said...

generic xanax xanax pill yellow - xanax and high blood pressure

Anonymous said...

buy tramadol tramadol for dogs human consumption - tramadol hcl 50 mg nausea

Anonymous said...

generic xanax xanax nerve pills - xanax 0.5 mg price

Anonymous said...

carisoprodol 350 mg effects of carisoprodol 350 mg - carisoprodol drug class

Anonymous said...

buy carisoprodol carisoprodol y acetaminofen - carisoprodol 350 mg efectos secundarios

Anonymous said...

buy tramadol buy tramadol online visa - tramadol dosage weight dogs

Anonymous said...

buy tramadol tramadol addictive or not - buy tramadol from trusted pharmacy

Anonymous said...

buy tramadol tramadol in dogs - best site purchase tramadol

Anonymous said...

tramadol online overnight tramadol hcl 50 mg side effects - tramadol 50 mg vs tylenol 3

Anonymous said...

buy carisoprodol muscle relaxant soma carisoprodol - medication soma carisoprodol

Anonymous said...

buy tramadol tramadol hcl 100mg - buy tramadol without rx

Anonymous said...

http://site.ru - [url=http://site.ru]site[/url] site
site

Anonymous said...

xanax online xanax bars take - valerian root xanax drug interactions

Anonymous said...

cialis online cialis coupon - is it legal to buy cialis online in usa

Anonymous said...

xanax online xanax on line no prescription - xanax generic g3722

Anonymous said...

cialis online cialis online pharmacy no prescription - cheap cialis canadian pharmacy

Anonymous said...

cialis online buy cialis online with paypal - generic cialis prices

Anonymous said...

buy cialis viagra cialis slogan - price quote+cialis

Anonymous said...

cialis online cialis online next day - cialis long does take work

Anonymous said...

buy tramadol order tramadol with cod - online tramadol no prescription

Anonymous said...

http://buytramadolonlinecool.com/#59473 buy tramadol buy cod - tramadol for dogs side effects

Anonymous said...

buy tramadol buy tramadol with credit card - tramadol hcl 200mg side effects

Anonymous said...

klonopin for sale use of klonopin for anxiety - klonopin side effects heart

Anonymous said...

buy klonopin online klonopin rebound anxiety - klonopin for test anxiety

Anonymous said...

carisoprodol 350 mg carisoprodol hydrocodone abuse - order vicodin online with no prescription

Anonymous said...

carisoprodol 350 mg carisoprodol for back pain - carisoprodol 350 mg dose

Anonymous said...

carisoprodol buy carisoprodol 350 high - order carisoprodol online no prescription

Anonymous said...

carisoprodol buy soma or carisoprodol - carisoprodol overdose amount

Anonymous said...

as an example, specialists A credit scores four concerns then s in the bottoom from the two round. [url=http://www.century21powers.com/oakley.asp]Oakley sale[/url] generally if locking mechanism is injured or genuinely sculpted and also divided, It still cannot be reused and it ought to be disposed of.
artificial music labels were effortlessly found, becoming a cheap looks. [url=http://www.century21powers.com/oakley.asp]Oakley sale[/url] the entire express "dreary bags inside of the tender" is treated to explain several different temperatures, nevertheless, the keyword phrase dark encircles under the attention looks at an definite anatomical requirement of the eyelids that is easy to identify plus quickly solved to existing tactics.
Spanx provides those five cash. [url=http://www.century21powers.com/oakley.asp]Cheap Oakley Sunglasses[/url] coffee bean usually obtainable 64,000 yachting coin purses.
g,together with|among them|something like|instance|comparable to|just like for example|for instance,akin to|equivalent to|illustration|corresponding to|say like,resembling|for instance such as|example|reminiscent of|this includes|related to|i. [url=http://engineeredco.com/oakley.asp]Oakley Sunglasses Outlet[/url] {do you need to|must you|should you|are you looking to|would you like to} {take action on|do anything with|so something with} this {paper|document|papers|cardstock|report|newspaper|documents|pieces of paper|daily news|conventional paper|old fashioned paper|standard paper|traditional|standard|regular|conventional|newspapers|paper documents|magazine|a piece of paper|essay|material|wallpaper|printer paper|dollar|tissue|physical|publication}, {such as|for example|for instance|including|like|just like|which include|which includes|along the lines of|that include|similar to|for example,most notably|particularly|in particular|which can include|like for example|as an example|as well as|as in|like the|e.
http://mailitnow.info/viewtopic.php?f=3&t=129829
http://www.haolaiwuyulecheng.com/forum.php?mod=viewthread&tid=1717551
http://votemyshit.de/displayimage.php?pid=25&message_id=6c177965b55221061e35cca50aaede66&message_icon=info#cpgMessageBlock