Wednesday, March 21, 2007

Wanted: Lost Husband

“I simply can’t find him anywhere,” the woman stated.

She remained chipper even though she was very likely dancing along the edge of desperation. I’m certainly no detective, but she insisted that her husband was somewhere near and that I knew him.

“I just haven’t seen him since this weekend,” she added. “Oh, I fear that he went on a heavy drinking binge and may be lost… or even hurt!”

I ruffled through my jacket pocket and pulled out a pen and my notepad.

“Could you describe him, ma’am?” I asked.

“Sure, he’s six foot two, eyes of blue,” she ticked off his characteristics one by one on her fingers. “He’s handsome and athletic. Oh, he’s a military man! He looks so good in his uniform.”

“Military man,” I repeated as I wrote the info down. “Ma’am, do you realize that this is Planet Hacknor? Hundreds of people come through here every day. Many of them are in the service. We could check the local Colonial Marine garrison if you want.”

“Oh no, he’s not a marine,” she replied. “He’s stationed someplace far, far away from here. I just don’t know what to do.”

I looked over my notes as she wrung her hands together.

“Hmmm, a military man but not from around here,” I stated as I absently pulled a receipt and an old Post-It note from another pocket. “Tall and athletically built. Tell me, ma’am, does he have any distinguishing characteristics? Anything to pick him out of a crowd?”

“Oh, I’m afraid not,” she sighed. “He can disappear into a crowd pretty easily. Especially when he’s at work.”

“Interesting,” I said absently as I jotted notes down. “This will make him tougher to find. Let me ask you, is there anything at all that I could use that would help me find your husband?”

She shook her head. “I’m sorry. I just don’t know.”

“Well let me see what I can do,” I dotted one last “i” in my notes. “Oh there is one more thing, ma’am,”


“Do you at least have a picture of him? You know so I know who to look for.”

“Oh certainly,” she pulled out a towel and unfolded it. “I had this made on our anniversary. Isn’t it romantic? Do you think this will help?”


cooltopten said...

awww thats so romantic :) lol

Anonymous said...

I think she needs a nap REEEAAL BAAAD !


Darth Nepharia said...

I didn't know that clones were even allowed to marry.

Professor Xavier said...

Is that who's under the Pikachu costume?

Dark Jedi Kriss said...

Is there something Tak needs to tell us here?

Skywalker said...

That happeens alot I'm sure. I think Tak has more than one wife out there.

Gyrobo said...

So Tak's married to the 1950's.

Darth Vader said...

So it would seem.

Jean-Luc Picard said...

I think I may have seen him before...

A Army Of (Cl)One said...

I am sure that guy is one of the other 30 billion clones trooeprs who is out there. We all tend to look alike. I have never seen Marge before. How would I have gotten to Hacknor anyways. Not like I even visited that planet. Yep, must have been some other clone who was there withing the last six to 8 months.

Mr. Bennet said...

Marriage never goes as you plan.

Nightwing said...

Its men like him who stop men like me from finding sane women.