Hudson: On Leave

Yo man, it’s the H-Man here, comin’ at you hard and loud.

So anyway, I gotta bit of leave time saved up (I try not to go on leave – who knows what kind of awesome bughunts I’d miss if I did) and after that close call on Space Station Alphala, I figured I could use a vacation. Maybe I can go get some Arcturian Tang. I love that orange space drink.

I was kind of worried that my LT wouldn’t let me go on leave, seeing as how I’m so important to the squad. Nobody can grease a 5-Ton like I can grease a 5-Ton. I’m talking about vehicles not fat chicks, byt the way, but LT said “Sure, go ahead. Take as long as you want.” It’s great that my lieutenant is so cool with me, it seems like half the time he doesn’t even ask where I’m going ‘cuz he knows I’m doing something boucoup important.

So here I am out on leave at one of the galaxy’s greatest pleasure planets, just chilaxing by the pool and---


Oh my God, this is not happening! This is not happening. They’re at the pool, they’re at the goram pool!


You kids, get away, man! That thing's going to come in there and it's gonna get you! It’ll be game over for you, man!


Oh jeez, you way hot space pirate ladies are in trouble! Don’t let that thing get you, man! They got acid blood that they spit on you and you’ll be all like “Aghhhhgghh! It got me!”


Oh man! Oh God! Oh Man! It’s got you! It’s freaking fracking got you! Don’t worry, I got my M-41A Pulse Rifle, I’ll shoot it!


Holy crud, that was scary. Unfortunately that pretty lady was caught in the crossfire. I guess I had to kill her to save her, huh?

All this Xenomorph killing sure did get me all wound up, man. I know a nice way to calm down, I’ll just go to a movie and relax.


Ahhhhhhhhhh!