Monday, April 07, 2008

Trouble on Rushmore

I was dangling precariously from the side of the mountain with Agent Hanson clutching for dear life to my right hand. An unknown assailant was grinning evilly as he stood over me – stood on my other hand as a matter of fact.

“I’ve just got one thing left to say to you,” he said.

“I’m on Candid Camera?” I asked hopefully.

“All!” He gave my hand a good stomp.

“Hail!” He gave it another.

“Mighty!” He stomped on my hand once again.

“Cobra----?” I caught his last stomp with my right hand.

“I’ve got one last thing to say to you,” I said. “Watch your step.”

I gave his leg a good tug and he tumbled over the ledge, past Hanson who had by that time gained a foothold and was clutching the side of the mountain. We worked ourselves up to the ledge and took a moment to catch our breath.

“That was not fun,” Hanson shook her head. “Remind me to never do this again with you. Ever.”

“Like I said, you gotta watch your step.”

“Heh, yeah,” she replied.

“It’s a real doozy,” I added.

“Uh huh.”

“Though I hope he had a nice trip,” I joked.


“Pride goeth before a fall.”

“Yeah… right…”

“I wonder if he likes the song I’ll Tumble 4 ya.”

“Ugh, I can’t believe you just said that,” Hanson groaned.

“We sure made him the fall guy, huh?” I chuckled.

“Will you shut up already?” Hanson yelled.

“OK OK,” I acquiesced.

“Now what?” she asked.

“I guess we look around for anything unusual,” I shrugged. “We should keep our eyes open for any more guards as well.”

Carefully, we looked around the area. I couldn’t find anything but Hanson did.

“Over here,” she called out to me.

“What is it?” I asked as I trotted over to where she was standing under the giant stone visage of Abraham Lincoln.

“Can you feel this?” she asked.


“Guess the secret base needs fresh air, huh?” she grinned as she indicated to Lincoln’s nose. “It’s coming out of here.”

“Well go ahead and pick,” I replied.


“Pick which nostril. We’re going in.”

“Ew,” she grimaced.

“Aw come on,” I said. “It’s granite. It’s not like we’re going into a real giant nose.”

“Alright,” she said back. “You want to go first, or shall I?”


captain koma said...

Hope you pick a winner!

What drove me to say that?

Batman said...

You should be Pun--ished.

Great Gotham! It's contaigous

Danny Bailey said...

granite or not I wouldnt want to crawl up into a nose

but it could be worse they could have mad Rushmore into a full body and then no telling what cavity wind may be coming from

Justice said...

ewwwww a giant nose booger Hanson and Jon

Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

You people with your comments about Hanson and I going into his nose make me sick.

It's snot funny.

Jean-Luc Picard said...

Watch out for falling criminals.

Professor Xavier said...

Smells a little like you're flirting with Hanson there, Jon. Aren't we having enough trouble with the Emma thing?

Dr. Zaius said...

If President Lincoln's head sneezes, you're gonna be in big trouble!

Nepharia said...

Very punny, Jon. I can't believe you packed so many in a single post. Good work. :D