Sunday, May 22, 2005

The Collosal Rngarnghk

If there's one thing I hate more than anything else in this universe it is a sore loser. I'm not talking about the Kick-the-dirt-in-a-huff-because-you-lost-the-big-game kind of sore loser. I am talking about the Destroy-the-planet-with-your-ultimate-weapon kind. The Collosal Rngarnghk and I go way back. He is actually one of Freddy N'Zaumnthchl's cronies and is as dirty a player as there ever was. We were in the arena fighting and naturally he's fighting dirty (it seems like the ref is always distracted when a heal cheats) and after much back and forth action, I get the upper hand.

I get several devastating blows in, I disable his Awful Clawful (that thing is disgusting), I got him on his back and I am about to deliver the finishing blow (what we call a coup de grace in the business) when he activates a teleporter on his wrist device!

Obviously, those things are illegal and I won by DQ. But it just isn't the same, you know.

So the match is over and Rngarnghk appears, growling and slobbering, all over all of the screens. He's got his space station in orbit, he's got a giant death beam on it, he's going to blow up the planet, yadda yadda yadda. I'm sure you've all heard this stuff before.

So of course, I have to go up there and stop him. I fight my way onto his space station, and the thing is huge. It's a fricking labyrinth, and as I make my way through it, I have to wonder who builds these things.

He's got the countdown to fire initiated (of course he does, they always have a countdown on those things), I finally fight my way to the control center and hurl my lasar trident into the interface -- right before zero, I might add. I beat on Rngarnghk some more, pick him up and hurl him through a viewscreen and he plummets from the upper level of the control center to the lower. "Looks like you're going down," I say. I know, it wasn't my best line, but it will make it on the recap show tonight.

So Rngarnghk's defeated and they suspend him indefinitely. You just know the promoters will bring him back, though. Despite the fact that he's pure evil and his planet-destroying ways, he really draws and he knows how to work a crowd.

1 comment:

Angel (Superhero) said...

Sounds like a nasty piece of work and I have known a few.

Thanks for the offer for my kids to come to Hacknor for Intergalactic Gladiator training. Sounds like a lot of fun.

Love, Angel x