Monday, May 23, 2005

Lounging at Ten Forward

[Crowd murmuring, applause]
Thank you, thank you. My name is Johnny Warpten and I will be your entertainment tonight at the Ten Forward. Isn’t this place great? What a view this place has!

Phasers in the night, firing across expanses
Wondering in the night, what were the chances?
We would fall in love before the firefight was through.
Something in your eyes was so exciting,
and in your smile, ooh, inviting.
In my heart I knew I must have you.

[Applause] Thank you, thank you very much. Hi, what’s your name?

Worf: I am Lt. Worf.

That’s great, you’re a Klingon, aren’t you?

Worf: yes, I --

Great, wasn’t the Federation and the Klingon Empire once at war?

Worf: Yes, it was a long and bloody conflict. Many lives were --

Star Wars, nothing but Star Wars
Gimme those Star Wars, across the sky

Star Wars, nothing but Star Wars
Please let those Star Wars, stayyyyyy

Worf: there was nothing entertaining about that war, many lives were lost.

Thank you, thank you very much. Say, what’s your name?

Data: I am data, sir.

And what’s with the skin? Are you jaundiced or did you drink too much Sunny D? [mild laughter]

Data: No sir, I am an android. I have a posotroni--

He's alive....Alive!
Weird science!
Weird Science
Plastic tubes and pots and pans
Bits and pieces and
Magic from the hand
We're makin'
Weird science
Things I've never seen before
Behind bolted doors
Talent and imagination!

[Applause] Thank you, thank you very much. Hey, I gotta thank Guinan here for having me in her lounge tonight. The last time I saw a face like that it was on a can of Andorian Rochned Chow. Hey everybody, don’t forget to tip your bartender! Say, you two look cute, how are you doing tonight?

Riker: Doing well.
Troi: Giggle.

Love! Exciting and new!
Come on aboard we’re expecting you!
The Love Boat, soon we’ll be making another run
The Love Boat promises something for everyone!
Set a course for adventure excitement and romance!

[Laughter and applause] Thank you, thank you, here’s one of my favorites, I hope you like it too.

It’s been a long road, getting from there to here.
It’s been a long time, but my time is finally near. [spattering of boos]

Just kidding everyone,

Beyond the rim of the starlight, [laughter and applause]
my love is wand’ring in star flight.
I know he'll find
In star clustered reaches
Love, strange love
A starwoman teaches.

I know his journey ends never.
His Star Trek will go on forever.
But tell him while
He wanders his starry sea,
Remember, Remember me. [applause]

Thank you, thank you very much. Before I take a little break, I want to thank the Captain for letting me on his ship so I can bring a little entertainment into your evening, and boy do I mean little! [Audience laughs] But seriously folks, let’s have a round of applause for Captain Picard [applause, Capt. Picard smiles and waves].

Ride, captain ride upon your mystery ship
Be amazed at the friends you have here on your trip
Ride captain ride upon your mystery ship
On your way to a world that others might have missed

[applause] Captain Picard. everybody! Thank you, thank you everybody, you’re terrific. I’ll be back after a short break.

1 comment:

Jean-Luc Picard said...

Thank you for your time as entertainment host on the Enterprise. We'll call you if we want you again (don't hold your breath).

In the meantime, I must tag you with the Screaming MeMe that was foist on me. No return tags allowed. See my Journal for details.