Thursday, July 27, 2006

Give me the idol, I'll give you the whip

(Jon is remembering the time when he got his hat)

“Hey Garrett!” Lobo called out to the Marshal’s office. “Open up! We got ‘em!”

“What d’ya mean?” the outlaw in the office yelled back. “Where’s the Marshal?”

“I shot the Marshal!” Lobo yelled.

“You shot him?”

“Yeah! But I did not shoot the deputy… er, I did, I did shoot the deputy!”

“Uh, OK!” Garrett called out. “I got Jango out of the jail cell. We’re coming out!”

A few minutes earlier…

Marshal Hawks wrapped the line tight around Diablo Lobo’s wrists. “This’ll keep ya from tryin’ anything crazy.”

Yooper T. Flintlock chuckled loudly.

“What if I ain’t gonna do it?” Lobo sneered.

“I’ll show you.” I picked one of his blasters from off the dirt and popped the ammo out, then shoved it in his hand. “Here.”

“So?” he looked at me and shrugged.

I shot it out of his hand and he yelped. I picked his weapon up out of the dirt again and handed it to him.

“I can do this all afternoon.”

A few minutes later…

“We’re coming out!” Garrett yelled out the door. He unbolted the front door and heaved it open.

“Wait! Wait a minute!” Jango called while chasing him out the door. She tried to grab him by the shoulder, but I was quick. On his other side, I chopped him in the shoulder and he crumpled to the ground. I drew my pistol and aimed it at Jango.

“I don’t normally make a habit of shooting unarmed women,” I said. “But I am willing to make an exception.

With the Jango James gang in jail, the townspeople were happily congregating in the streets. Yooper had a juice harp in his teeth and was twanging away for some of the local kids. The Marshal was grinning and leaning against a horse rail.

“Well Marshal, this sure has been fun,” I said. “Unfortunately, it’s about time for me to head off into the sunset.”

“Yer right, son,” he answered. “I know what you mean.”

He paused and let the silence hang for a long moment.

“I’ve been the law here for a long time. A long time.”

“You’re a good lawman…” I started to say.

“Yeah, a better lawman would’ve stopped them long ago,” he answered. “Being a marshal ain’t an old man’s game.”

“Who’s going to keep the law in Laramie Outpost?” I asked. I could tell he was in pain, but maybe not from getting shot a few days ago.

“I will,” one of the townspeople stepped up. His new badge gleamed in the setting sun.

“Jon, meet Marshal Hartford,” Hawks patted him on the shoulder.

“Pleased to meet you.” I shook his hand. “You know you have some big boots to fill.”

“Fortunately I have big feet,” the new Marshal grinned. “I’m sure it’ll be a nice quiet job in a nice quiet town.”

“Where you heading?” I asked the retiring lawman.

“Don’t know,” he looked off to the sky. “I always wanted to travel. Maybe I’ll go to Orion in one of those fast ships or something.”

“Yeah,” I answered. “I’m sure that would be a nice trip. Oh, one more thing.”

I pulled off his hat and handed it to him. He took a look at it and then placed it back on my head.

“It’s yours, son,” he said. “From me to you.”

“No, I couldn’t…”

“I insist,” he looked me in the eye. “You’ve proven yourself and these townspeople are grateful. You’re no greenhorn, you’re a real lawman… It’s yours.”

“I’ll treasure it always.”

With that, I hopped up on my steed and made my way to the edge of town.

“Wait Jon!” called a voice. I turned and saw Joey running up to me.”

“I can’t stay, Joey. It’s time for me to go.”

“But we need you!” he cried. “Please stay!”

What’s with the needy kid? Jeez.

“Be good, Joey,” I answered. “Take good care of your mom and make sure you grow up to be one of the good guys.”

“Come back, Jon! Come back!”


Cyclops said...

*wipes a tear from the corner of his eye*

I was chopping onions!

Professor Xavier said...

I think Captain Kirk has patented that karate chop to the neck move. You might be setting yourself up for a lawsuit, Jon.

Local Henchmen 432 said...

Couldn't you have the horse kick the mistake.Dental for all.

Dr.Polaris rules.

Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

Hey, that's not a bad idea -- er wait I can't do that, I'm the hero.

Vegeta said...

So? give in to your inner anti hero!

Superman said...

Quiet you!

You handled it right Jon.