Monday, July 10, 2006

Showdown at Laramie Outpost

“I can’t let you go out dressed like that,” Marshall Hawks shook his head.

“What’s wrong with how I’m dressed?” I asked, holding up my arms and looking down at my black shirt and pants.

“You wanna be a cowboy, you need a hat, rawhide,” Hawks replied. “That sun’s really bright out there and they’re gonna use that to their advantage.”

“OK,” I answered. “I need a hat. How’s this?”

“A baseball cap? I admire you rootin’ fer your favorite team, but that just don’t fit around here.”

“What about this?”

“I’m not even sure what that’s fer either, son,” he answered. “You stormin’ the breeches or something?”

“What about this?”

“Yer gonna be too hot in that thing,” he chuckled.

“OK, what about this?”

“That thing is ridiculous! Why would you even want to wear something like that? I told you, you need a cowboy hat.”

“All right then, how about this?”

“What thar heck is that? That thing is even worse! Don’t ever let me see you wear that again!”

“That’s all I got,” I shrugged. “I don’t have anything else.”

“All right, all right, ya dang greenhorn.” Hawks pulled off his hat and placed it on my head. “Just take mine.”

I pulled the hat off and looked at the sweatband. It was stained brown with sweat and dirt.

“That’s from ridin’ hard and livin’ hard, pard,” he laughed. “No matter how hard you try, they don’t come clean.”

I shrugged and unbolted the door.

“One more thing, Johnny,” the Marshall called from his desk. “That sun’s comin’ through the clock tower right about now. Perfect place to put a gun.”

I nodded solemnly and stepped out the door.


SafeTinspector said...

My fav' is the welding mask. Wish I had one of those.
A man can do great things with a welding mask.

Vegeta said...

I don't know wearing the orange cowboy hat could have helped you I find people gaught in hysterical fits of laughter are easier to defeat. Why Kakarot is so essential to misssions

Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

That would also explain your hairdo.

Wolverine said...


Wedge Antillies said...

If it were me, I'd go back tot he baseball cap and wear some shades. But then, I am not a galactic gladiator. By the way, how many shells does that gun hold?

Karnov said...

Shoulda gone with a stetson.

A Army Of (Cl)One said...

Wedge: It's a hero's gun. It hold 2 more rounds than the number of bad guys, usless there is futher need for plot development. :)

I liked the Orange hat, it was a nice offset to the ascot.

Professor Xavier said...

Now you're ready to go out west and open an escort service for all the right reasons.