Monday, April 09, 2007

Level VII

“Check this out, Jon. This is so cool.”

Royal Technician Lombarr (or was he a Captain? The Queen commissioned him a captain when we were fighting the Zerg on Throneworld. I don’t know if he retained the rank or not ) seemed awfully excited. The only time he’s excited is when he’s got some kind of new gadget to show off. He confirmed this by holding up some sort of component.

“So, what is it?” I asked.

“When you see this thing in action, you’re going to plon!” He held up the blinking device even closer to me.

“I don’t think that I’m plonning yet,” I answered. “What is it?”

“This, my friend,” Lombarr paused to let the tension build. “Is a Level VII Artificial Intelligence Module!”

My eyes lit up. “A Level VII Artificial Intelegence Module! Really?”

“Yeah!” Lombarr’s eyes lit up even more at my excitement.

“A Level VII?”

“Uh huh!”

“An honest-to-gosh, no-foolin’ Level VII Artificial Intelligence Module?”

“Honest-to-gosh,” the technician guaranteed excitedly. “I’m not kidding.”

“What’s a Level VII Artificial Intelligence Module?” I asked flatly.

“Only the smartest, most advanced computer in the galaxy,” he answered with a snort. “And I’ve got even better news for you, too.”

“Which is?”

“You get to have it!” he said excitedly.

I paused for a moment to try to word my response carefully. I couldn’t think of any diplomatic way to answer.

“That, uh, I don’t really need anything like that,” I answered. “You should probably keep it.”

“No way, this one’s for you,” he insisted. “The Queen wanted you to have it.”

“The Queen?” I asked. “Really?”

“Yeah,” he nodded. “It’s to thank you for everything you’ve done for her. You know, like saving her from the Zerg and everything.”

“It was really more of a group effort,” I countered. “Why don’t you give it to Major Rocksun?”

“The Queen has tried numerous times to reward the Major for all he’s done,” Lombarr replied. “He never takes them. Sometimes I just can’t figure out what drives a guy like that.”

“Then how about Hudson?”

The technician snorted, then quickly composed himself. “I need someone who can take care of it. Who knows what that guy would do it.”

“OK, so if I take it, what am I supposed to do with it?”

“Oh, you can plug it into your ship,” Lombarr answered. “It’ll be your copilot, it’ll maintain all your systems. Believe me, it’s a huge upgrade from what you’ve got.”

“Yeah, but I just got the Danger Sled the way I like it. I don’t want it all pulled apart so you can put that thing in.”

“Are you kidding? Look,” he pointed to a slot on the device. “It’s got Intergalactic Serial Bus. You can just plug it right in and it’ll go.”

“I’m still not that comfortable with the idea,” I replied. “I just don’t know.”

“The Queen would really appreciate it if you took it,” he persisted. Look, we’re testing these things for use in our fleets. Not only would you be getting a new computer, you’d be doing us a favor by testing it under real conditions.”

“Ah, so I’m your Guinea pig, huh? Alright, I can test this thing out. Run it through the wringer.”

“Thanks for your help on this Jon,” Lombarr smiled gratefully. “What’s a Guinea pig?”

9 comments:

A Army Of (Cl)One said...

Level VII Artificial Intelligence Module, The Beta Version. Sounds like trouble to me. Always wait atleast a year for tehm to work out the bugs. Turst me on this one.

*raises hand and shakes angry fist at the sky* Dang you Level 98 Artificial Intelligence Module and your bugging ways!!!!

Professor Xavier said...

Artifical Intelligence? Is that like what George Bush has?

Vegeta said...

If it's anything like Bulma's Technoligical "gofts" expect the thing to explode in your face.

Vegeta said...

i meant gifts

cooltopten said...

Artifical Intelligence is that when you pretend to be brainy :)

Karnov said...

Looks like that AI would make good mix station for some glitchcore music

Jean-Luc Picard said...

Does a Level VII run on Vista?

Nightwing said...

What is up with that man's head?
*shivers*

Kid Flash said...

Guinea Pig? Duh, a pig from the Island of Guinea or is it the country in west africa that has Guinea somewhere in its name. uhhh, Ill have ta get back to you on that!