Sunday, January 20, 2008

Let's see, where am I?

Ah, it sure is nice here. Warm, too.

I must be on vacation in sunny Acapulco. I’ll just sit back here on the beach and relax, get a tan, maybe have a couple cervezas. This is nice, I sure could use this little getaway.

Wait a minute, it feels a little too warm. In fact, it’s hotter than Hell here. Maybe I’ll just open my eyes to figure out where I am.


That looked like a fire right in front of me, that’s not good. Okay, okay, I’ll just open my eyes one more time just to be sure.


Yeah, I’m surrounded by fire alright. I’ll have to get myself out of here and then figure out what I’ll do next. Let’s see, there’s a counter over there and a storefront window over there. Think I’ll go with the window.

The window shattered as I threw a stool through the pane. I dove out through the new exit and made an excellent forward roll just as flames erupted right behind me. I picked myself up and stumbled away from the inferno, brushing off my arms and legs as I moved.

Wow, that was pretty cool of me; I did that just like an action hero or something. I wonder if I am an action hero or something. Wait a minute, I don’t know if I’m an action hero or not. Wait a minute again, I don’t know who I am.

Huh. I seem to have amnesia or something. That’s funny because I thought people only got amnesia to generate cheap drama in lame storylines.

Okay, I’m out of immediate danger so I guess my next task is to figure out who I am. Let’s see, my chest hurts like crazy, let’s see why.

I opened up my shirt and looked at the ballistic vest that I was wearing. Embedded in it was a 9mm slug. I should count my blessings, if the round was any bigger, it probably would have gotten through the vest. I can feel the bruise there from the impact, though. That’s a pain that’s gonna linger. Maybe I’m a cop or government agent or something.

Okay, now what’s this thing that I’m holding? It looks like some sort of futuristic Sci Fi weapon or something. I must have instinctively grabbed it before I jumped through the window. Looks like it’s got some kind of communicator and a weapon or something on it. Huh. If it’s some kind of futuristic weapon, maybe I’m some kind of interstellar combatant or something. Oh come on, that sounds ridiculous.

“Hold on there! Are you OK?”

I looked over at the source of the sound. Two paramedics were running up towards me.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” I waved them off. “I think.”

“Holy--! Were you shot in the chest?” One of them asked as I stumbled into their arms.

“I think so,” I answered.

“We’ll take care of you,” the other paramedic said. “Just sit down here and we’ll take a look at you.”

“I’m OK,” I assured them. “Just give me a minute to get my bearings.”

“Is there anyone else in there?” a firefighter ran up and asked.

“I dunno,” I shrugged. “I don’t think so.”

“You don’t think so?” he asked. “Is there or is there not anyone else in there?”

“I don’t know,” I repeated. “I’m not sure what I’m doing here.”

“What, you got amnesia or something?” the firefighter snorted. “What kind of pansy [beep] piece of [beep] is that?”

“Hey cut him a little slack,” a paramedic defended me. “He just dove out of a burning building.”

“Yeah, how do we know he didn’t start it, huh?” the fireman demanded. “How do we know this [beep][beep] jack [beep] didn’t start that fire?”

“Just lay off,” the other paramedic stood up. “We’ll take care of him, you take care of the fire.”

The firefighter stormed off cursing under his breath.

“Wow,” I exhaled. “Are all the firefighter around here like that?”

“Naw, he’s just from New York,” one paramedic answered.


Vegeta said...

Amnesia ? So you're on soap operas now?

Dr.evil said...

Was this fireman "there on 9/11" supposedly with Rudy?

Jean-Luc Picard said...

Any clues who he is?

Dr. Zaius said...

Ack! I'm glad you are OK. Now if you can just get past the celebrity firefighters!

Freida Bee said...

Uh-Oh! If Denis Leary is seeing you whilst in a firefighter uniform, you may be dead.