Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Mystique and Zartan and 10,000 volts, oh my

Professor! I thought to Xavier. Zartan is about to zap you with 10,000 volts of electricity! Your chair is booby trapped!

Don't worry, Jon, the telepath replied. I’ll just take control of Zartan’s mind and . . . oh damn!


He’s got one of Magneto’s psionic blockers. Why is that everyone with a cowl - OW!!

Ow? I repeated. Professor, can you hear me? Are you there?

He didn’t respond. I couldn’t feel his presence in my mind at all. I couldn’t hear him or feel that slight buzzing in my head. Nothing. Not even that slight twinge in the back of my brain telling me how he would make a great vice president.

“Professor!” I yelled out loud.

“Ha ha ha, that’s one out of the way. Now let’s make it two for two.” Zartan leveled his pistol at my chest.

“Screw you, hood head,” I growled back. He had me dead to rights, though. No chance of him missing at that range. Not even the lamest Cobra trooper with the shakiest aim could miss this close.

“Insolent to the end,” the master of disguise gloated. “Fortunately, that will be very soon.”

“Zartan, I still can’t move,” Mystique called out from her position on the floor. “I can’t feel my feet.”

“Shut up,” he shot back. “I’m cleaning up your mess here.”

“My mess? How would I know that you were out to discredit Jon and his campaign as well?”

“For someone who claims to be a master of disguise and a world-class assassin, you sure don’t pay attention very well,” he snorted.

“You arrogant bastard.” She spun around and crawled towards him. “Give me a few minutes to recover and I’ll show you what a world-class assassin can do.”

“I truly am scared,” the leader of the Dreadnoks mocked. “Are you going to assassinate my ankle?”

“Low down, dirty,” she gritted through her teeth.

“Sneaky, manipulative,” he spat back.

“Conniving, criminal.” She crawled up to his legs.

“Revolting, calculating.” He bent down and glared in her face.

They paused a moment and stared into each other’s eyes. They then threw their arms around each other began to kiss passionately.

Seeing my one (albeit disgusting) chance appear right before me, I inched closer to my Wristcomm still sitting on the floor where I dropped it earlier.

“Don’t even think about it.” The mercenary snapped his gun back in my direction.

“What?” I asked, trying to sound nonchalant.

“I saw you moving towards your weapon.” With his still pointed at me, he slid sideways towards my Wristcomm. “Maybe I’ll shoot you with it instead.”

“That’ll be ironic,” I muttered back.

“Shut up.” He reached down to pick it up but received his own shock for his efforts. “Yeow! That thing’s electrified!”

“My own little security measure to make sure it doesn’t fall into the wrong hands,” I answered. “Sorry it wasn’t 10,000 volts.”

“Yeah, too bad.” Zartan pulled the trigger on his pistol and shot me right in the chest. I felt the pain of the impact as I lurched back and crumpled to the ground.

“Nice,” Mystique purred. She pulled out her own remote and thumbed the button. “We should get a move on, darling. Things are about to get real hot in here.”

“You’re going to blow up your front?” he asked. I was starting to get dizzy. Black shadows curled around my vision.

“Don’t worry, I’m insured,” she answered. “This will look like a gas leak.”

“Lady, I like your style,” he smiled as he scooped her up into his arms and guided her out the door. “See you later, Jon. Or I suppose not! Ha ha ha!”

Curled up on the ground and clutching my chest, I could hear the door chime as they made their exit. Darkness completely enveloped my vision. I felt the heat rise as my head dropped to the floor.


Jean-Luc Picard said...

Another insurance scam!

Inertia said...

And the last thing you'll ever see is those two making out, What a horrible way to go.

Dr. Zaius said...

Ohmigawd! Youv'e been shot point blank in the chest! Jon, are you going to be OK in the next chapter?

Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

I hope so!

Professor Xavier said...

With the way she dresses, I can sure forgive her a lot.

Dr. Zaius said...

I have some Teenage Mutant Ninja Band-Aids, if you want. I'm just saying...