Friday, July 21, 2006

Jon is still flashing back to how he got his hat

You’re Jango James?” My eyes widened in shock. “But, you’re a woman!”

“Nice of you to notice. What, you don’t think a woman can lead an outlaw gang?” she snapped back. “What kind of chauvinistic ideals do you subscribe to?”

“No no, it isn’t that,” I respond. “I just didn’t suspect that someone named Jango would be a woman is all.”

“You don’t think a woman can have that name?” she snapped again.

“No,” I said. “I’m just sayin’ it’s not usual. The only Jango I’m really familiar with is a man.”

Of course, he also died a long time ago, and a galaxy far, far away from here, but that’s not exactly germane to the conversation.

“You men are all alike!” she hissed. “A woman can’t hardly do a ‘man’s’ job without every fat slob around her getting all uppity about it. Pig!”

“Hey, I’m no chauvinist,” I retorted. “Now you’re just jumping to conclusions!”

She looked down at the ground. “I’m sorry,” her voice softened. “I have trouble trusting men since my mama was murdered by a crooked sheriff.”

“It’s OK,” I assured her. “Just forget about it.”

“I had no means to support myself!” she sobbed. “I had no family to turn to, no marketable skills, I was an outcast.”

“Look, why don’t you just--”

“Nobody to care for me, I had nowhere else to go!” She sobbed and buried her face into my chest. “I don’t wanna be bad… I just want to--”

I grabbed her wrist, the knife in it dropped to the ground. “Nice try,” I said.

We rode back into Laramie Outpost in silence. It was too far to walk, so after carefully clearing away the 5 other knifes she had hidden, I bound her wrists together in front of her and sat her in front of me on the steed.

Once back in town, we were greeted by Marshal Hawks and Yooper T. Flintlock. The Marshal looked better, but he still was still in a lot of pain, despite his best efforts to hide that fact.

“Well lookee here,” the Marshal grumbled. “Who did you bring us, Jon?”

“Stow it, old man,” Jango squinted at him.

“This filly’s full of fire,” he laughed back. “Maybe you’ll calm down a bit in jail.”

I started to lead her to the Marshal’s office. “Her gang isn’t too far behind. Are you two ready for them?”

“Oh, I’m itchin’ fer a fight!” Yooper laughed. “Itchin’ real good! Heh heh heh!”

“We were just getting’ the folk together,” the Marshal added.

People were filtering out of the buildings, some had pitchforks and clubs. Many had guns. I walked Jango into the office and straight to the jail cell, she didn’t put up a fight, but once inside the cell, she solemnly called out my name once again.

“How about this,” she tried to deal. “You let me out, I’ll go get the gang and leave this planet for good. We’ll never bother these people again. You have my word, just let me go.”

“You’re word ain’t worth much around here,” I answered. Without another word, I walked out the door and back towards the lawman and the miner.

“Hey, Deputy Jon,” Little Joey ran up next to me. “There’s gonna be a big fight here, huh?”

“Yeah,” I answered. “I reckon there is.”

“Well, go give ‘em whatfor for me, willya,” he said optimistically.

“I will,” I replied. “You best be getting’ yourself scarce right now.”

“Aww nuts!” the kid kicked the dirt and ran off towards the safety of a building.

“Still don’t see ‘em,” said Yooper. “But they’s a comin,’ I know it!”

“I’m ready to end this once and for all!” the Marshal called out. “They’ve been ridin’ roughshod over this town for far too long. Who’s with me?”

“I’m your man.” Someone stepped forward.

“Me too.”

“Me too.”

Several more stepped forward and the old lawman quietly thanked them. He then looked off into the distance. The dusty terrain did not yet show sign of the outlaws’ approach.

“I better man would’ve stopped this earlier,” he quietly said.

“There they are, heh heh heh!” Yooper pointed. Off in the distance, dust clouds from the outlaw riders were being kicked up.

6 comments:

A Army Of (Cl)One said...

Psst do me a favor and shoot that kid by accident. Please.

Waht is it with people named Jango and having a junk load of weapons.

Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

They must be compensating for something.

Jean-Luc Picard said...

Does anyone else know a woman named Jango?

A Army Of (Cl)One said...

Do you think she would get mad if you sang "I got spurs that Jingo Jango, Oh I got spurs that Jingo Jango,I got spurs that Jingo Jango, Oh I got spurs that Jingo Jango,I got spurs that Jingo Jango, Oh I got spurs that Jingo Jango,I got spurs that Jingo Jango, Oh I got spurs that Jingo Jango,I got spurs that Jingo Jango, Oh I got spurs that Jingo Jango,I got spurs that Jingo Jango, Oh I got spurs that Jingo Jango,I got spurs that Jingo Jango, Oh I got spurs that Jingo Jango,I got spurs that Jingo Jango, Oh I got spurs that Jingo Jango"

Because it would be very annony if someone did, so noone better, Ya Hear!

Gyrobo said...

I met a woman named Jango, in the outback, during the lunar war.

She was a corporal then, though.

Professor Xavier said...

Maybe the gang will all be girls, too. Then it should be an easy battle.