(Air)Borne in South Dakota

“Greetings, Jon.” Professor Xavier’s image flashed to life on the screen. “I take you are now on your way to South Dakota to investigate that signal the Dreadnoks were sending from the Chester A. Arthur Memorial Clock now.”

“Yep,” I answered. “I’m flying there now in my ship.”

“I must commend you on your daring escape in that warehouse,” he added. “I monitored the whole affair and I have to say that blubbering like a child was pure genius.”

“That wasn’t supposed to be like a child,” I said. “I was trying to invoke the spirit of Private Hudson.”

“Ah, yes I can see that now,” the telepath nodded. “Very well done.”

“See, they had the drop on me,” I explained. “But then I made it look like I was scared for my life until that chick with the guns let her guard down. That’s when I got her.”

“Yes, of course. Perhaps that’s what Cyclops was trying when he curled up into the fetal position in front of the Brotherhood of Evil Mutants last month.”

“Could be,” I shrugged. “I tell you, that dude was disgusting. He was all like bubbling and gurgling brain floating in a tank. If I never have to see something like that again, I’ll be happy.”

“Yes, I can definitely understand your discomfort,” the leader of the X-Men replied. “I was playing chess with Magneto the other day in his cell and he said something similar about his own encounter with Nemonok. I would imagine that anyone would find the sight of him disconcerting.”

“Yeah, well we don’t have to worry about Brainjar anymore,” I said. “I kicked his medulla across the concrete of that warehouse and back. That had the nice bonus of making my boots look all nice and new.”

“That’s good, I suppose,” Xavier replied dryly. “Back to the issue in South Dakota, I have several X-Men standing by here at the X-Mansion. They can get there fairly quickly in the X-Jet should you need help.”

“Thanks for the offer, but like I said earlier, I’m just going to check the area out. I’m not going to stick around if I’m over my head or way outnumbered. I don’t plan on getting into trouble, you know?”

“Yet trouble often has a way of finding you,” he replied.

“You know what?” I said. “I don’t think we have to worry about it. There is literally nothing there.”

“Nothing?”

“Nothing but dusty crossroads and a bus driving past.”