Tuesday, June 03, 2008

In space, everybody can hear when you blow up a ship real good

“Of all the half-witted, ignorant, boorish, unevolved actions you could have possibly taken, you chose the worst!”

It was Liliandra yelling at me, and she had been laying into me for a good ten minutes now. This is the maddest that I have ever seen a queen since, I don’t know, since there was the fight outside that bar on Halsted Street.

“Here I am, visiting your solar system on a personal mission of my own, welcomed by none other than Galacta IX and you try to spoil it by creating this intergalactic incident. Do you know what kind of paperwork my captain now has to fill out declaring that it was not actually a citizen of my empire who fired on that ship? Did you think you’d get away with this?”

“Yes ma’am. No ma’am,” I replied. I stood straight at attention. I figure that I’ll just let her expend all her anger on me, then admit to everyone who needs to know that I was the one who fired the cannon. Of course there will be complications due to the fact that I’m on this ship, in a time of peace, discharging the weapon. I’m sure Queen Galacta will let it slide once she knows who I fired at and why.

“Are you even listening to me?” Wow, she’s angry.

“Yes ma’am.”

“Get this man out of my sight!” she ordered her guards. “I don’t even want him on my ship anymore!”

The two guards hoisted me between them and pulled me towards the door.

“You highness,” I called out. “I fully admit to my actions and am perfectly willing to sign any document stating that I fired the cannon.”

“Get! Out!” she screamed.

The two guards threw my out into the corridor. “You have 20 minutes to get off this ship,” one stated.

“Then it’s hunting season,” the other laughed.

“Ha ha funny,” I laughed back. “Thanks guys.”

With nothing better to do, I walked back to the landing bay and my ship, the Danger Sled. I saw Professor Xavier waiting for me in front of the Sled’s access hatch.

“Well, I just illegally blew up a ship containing a brain in an overgrown fish tank, essentially touched off an intergalactic incident, and I got yelled at by the queen of the Shi’Ar Empire for the last 15 minutes,” I said to him. “So how’s your day been?”

“It could have been worse, considering.” The Professor indicated to the fresh scars running across his head from his recent brain removal and un-removal. “I wouldn’t worry about Lilandra, of course she’s upset but she needs to look out for her people. I’m sure this will blow over quickly.”

“Yeah, blow over,” I repeated. “In the meantime, I need to head on out before some of her goons decide to shoot first and ask questions later. You looking for a ride?”

“I would say no thank you at this time,” he responded. “Lilandra and I have been separated for quite some time and after getting the chance to see her again, I have decided to stay onboard her ship to, er, get reacquainted. I’m not sure how long we have together.”

“Sure, I get it,” I grinned. “Don’t wait up, right?”

I popped into my ship and waved back to the Professor. “Well don’t be too long, huh? I still have to hold a press conference and explain that Kang the Conqueror was the whole instigator of Emmagate.”

“Kang the Conqueror! I should have known,” Xavier exclaimed. “Well, good luck with that press conference, then. I have the upmost confidence in your oratory skills.”

“Well don’t you want any details about my encounter with Kang?” I asked.

“No no, as I said, I am confident in your abilities and as such, I have no doubt you handled yourself accordingly.”

“Yeah, but Kang,” I said. “He’s a pretty bad dude, you know.”

“I know, I know,” the mutant replied. “But why don’t you tell me about it some other time?”

“Well OK, I guess,” I waved. “See you later, have fun storming the castle.”

“Is that what you kids call it these days?” Xavier shouted back to me above the whine of my engines warming up. I kicked in the repulsors and slid out into space. I then fired up my engines and swung the ship around the spot where Nemonok’s craft was. I wanted to run a scan to be sure there was nothing left. All I could detect was debris scattering across space.

“Can’t say that I’ll miss you,” I muttered as I aimed my ship towards Earth.

8 comments:

SHI said...

so the brain is dead?


or did he survive?


will the Queen Galacta excommunicate Jon?

Will Jon win the president election?

we wait to find out

Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

Is the brain dead?
Aren't you dead?

mwb said...

Sure blowing up ships is fun and all until some debris pokes someone's eye out!

Nepharia said...

Hmmm, Nemonock's dead. He showed real promise too. He would be worth finding another Flux Capacitor to do a little time and space travel to retrieve him.

Jean-Luc Picard said...

Don't mention the scar. Xavier might be sensitive to that.

Supermum, Psycho Bitch, a.k.a turboslut said...

Seems like i've got a lot of catching up to do.

Gyrobo said...

Why didn't you try to charm your way out of the situation with promises of moonlit strolls and free hats?

Dr. Zaius said...

What's the big deal! It's not like that was the first time that some one illegally blew up a ship containing a brain in an overgrown fish tank, essentially touched off an intergalactic incident. I mean, really!