Separated at Birth VI: These Separate Times Call for Separate Measures

Encarta Dictionary defines separated as “moved apart so as not to be touching or connected, not together, or not in the same place” and birth as “the emergence of the young of a human or animal from the mother's womb into the outside world.” In this series, Separated at Birth, we hope to bring together peoples of all intergalactic origins to sit down and look at who or what is Separated at Birth. We hope to educate as well as entertain and if we’ve accomplished just a little bit of each, then our mission is accomplished.

So sit back and enjoy as I rev up the super powered super computer to bring you this, the next installment of the award winning Separated at Birth.

Hold on, the computer’s not responding.

Let’s see, control, alt, delete…

No response, hmmm.

Oh wait, I forgot to turn on the monitor, how silly of me.



Pa'u Zotoh Zhaan and the Blue Men from the Blue Man Group are Separated at Birth! See utilizing a highly advanced program, the super computer was able to compare the characteristics of these two candidates such as blue skin and lack of hair to determine that they were Separated at Birth.


Eric Clapton and Admiral Adama are Separated at Birth! Who could have ever imagined that Slow Hand and the Old Man were Separated at Birth? Why the supercomputer could, that’s who.


Captain Jack Harkness and Tom Cruise are Separated at Birth! They have so much in common, one’s a pansexual hunk who can never die and the other’s a ambiguously gay Hollywood star who just won’t stop.


Joey Greico, the host of Cheaters, and this giant hammer are Separated at Birth! Wait a minute, this doesn’t make sense, they’re not Separated at Birth at all. Oh, I get it, they’re both huge tools. Oh you wacky supercomputer with your wacky sense of humor!


Wall-E and Number 5 are Separated at Birth! Congratulations Disney, you’re ripping off a movie from 20 years ago. If you’re going to rip off a Steve Guttenberg movie, why oh why can’t it be Police Academy 3 Back in Training?

Are you ready for the final Separated at Birth of the evening (or morning, I suppose). This one will make you gasp, make you shudder, and make you cry that can barely take any more.


Nancy Grace and Porn Face Invisible Girl are Separated at Birth! What’s more obnoxious, Nancy Grace’s big mouth always yapping with it’s crazy talk or Greg Land’s unique ability to scan a picture from his favorite porno mag, photoshop it and drop it into every comic that he draws?

Well as I can see by the flashing cursor (using super advanced electrons!) that this is all the time we have for Separated at Birth today, but before you go, the supercomputer says that it has one more incredible supercalculation for you today.

“The secret ingredient is love?”

What the hell kind of a supercalculation is that?