Meet Dave

Dave: So I said “I didn’t even know it was guacamole.”

(laughter, rimshot)

Dave: Hear that Paul? I said “I didn’t even know it was guacamole.”

Paul: Got it Dave.

Dave: Funny stuff, that guacamole is.

Paul: Right Dave.

Dave: You like the guacamole?

Paul: Sure do. Eat it all the time.

Dave: Fun times at the Shaffer home, huh?

Paul: Ha ha ha, you got it, Dave.

Dave: Ha ha ha ha ha. Yeah. Speaking of guacamole and good times, I think we’re going to have a special treat for you tonight. Rumor has it, that in the hallways of this very building, is none other than one of the presidential candidates.

Paul: Is it John McCain?

Dave: Ha ha ha. No. No, not John McCain.

Paul: Is it that Dr. Zaius cat?

Dave: No, not Dr. Zaius either.

Paul: Well who is it?

Dave: Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator.

Paul: Oooh. I heard that he saved the Earth once.

Dave: Big deal. I saved the Earth, like, twelve times last night.

Paul: Twelve times. Really?

Dave: Yup. Seriously though, Jon’s close by and we’ve got a page fetchin’ him.

Paul: Fetchin’ him.

Dave: Yup. And we’re gonna try to get him in here for a few minutes. What? He’s here? He’s right out there? Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator, everybody! Hey Jon, how’s it going?

Jon: Hey Dave. Wow it’s cold in here, get a load of my nipples.

Dave: Ha ha, right. Say, you want to play with the band?

Jon: I sure would. I even brought my own cowbell.

Dave: Great, let’s hear it.

Jon: Time has come today
Young hearts can go their way
Can't put it off another day
I don't care what others say
They say we don't listen anyway
Time has come today
(Hey)

Oh
The rules have changed today (Hey)
I have no place to stay (Hey)
I'm thinking about the subway (Hey)
My love has flown away (Hey)
My tears have come and gone (Hey)
Oh my Lord, I have to roam (Hey)
I have no home (Hey)
I have no home (Hey)

Now the time has come (Time)
There's no place to run (Time)
I might get burned up by the sun (Time)
But I had my fun (Time)
I've been loved and put aside (Time)
I've been crushed by the tumbling tide (Time)
And my soul has been psychedelicized (Time)

(Time)
Now the time has come (Time)
There are things to realize (Time)
Time has come today (Time)
Time has come today (Time)

Time [x11]

Oh
Now the time has come (Time)
There's no place to run (Time)
I might get burned up by the sun (Time)
But I had my fun (Time)
I've been loved and put aside (Time)
I've been crushed by tumbling tide (Time)
And my soul has been psychedelicized (Time)

(Time)
Now the time has come (Time)
There are things to realize (Time)
Time has come today (Time)
Time has come today (Time)

Time [x4]
Yeah

Dave: Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator, ladies and gentlemen, we’ll be right back.