Friday, May 22, 2009


Holy cow everybody. I almost just totally missed my fourth blogoversary. We need to go back and take a look at my previous ones!

Look at that! It’s my third blogversary and it just snuck up on us like that. I’ve been blogging here since May 20, 2005 and you know what that means? I need to get out more.

More importantly, it means that we need to celebrate. Go ahead and get yourself a drink. Make it a Yo Joe Cola or a glass of Champagne, I’ll wait.

Alright, as is my custom, let’s take a look back at my last few blogversaries, shall we?

On Throneworld, in the throne room of the Queen of the Galaxy, an unusual cast of characters gather. The group includes Private Hudson, Jan the Intergalactic Gladiator, Major Rocksun, Royal Technician Lombarr, and Queen Galacta IX herself, of course.

I took a deep breath and stepped through the doors and into the room. My heals made a distinct and echoing clacking sound as I strode across the regal floor towards the Queen’s ornate seat.

I gave a quick bow “Your majesty.”

“Welcome once again, Gladiator,” the Queen acknowledged. “To what do we owe this honor?”

“Queen Galacta,” I paused and turned to the others. “Major Rockson, Private Hudson, Jan, Lombarr and everybody else here, this is a special day. A very special day.”

“What is it?” asked Jan.

“What could it be?” asked Rocksun.

“Is it V-Day?” asked Hudson. “Or D-Day? Or VD-Day?”

“VD-Day?” grimaced Jan. “Ew.”

“Nope,” I grinned. “It’s my second Blogoversary!”

“Wow,” Jan said. “Congratulations.”

“Thank you, thank you,” I said. “Lombarr, would you be so kind as to throw up last year’s Blogoversary post on the telemonitor?”

“Certainly.” Lombarr threw a switch and the post showed up on the viewer.

Along the way, we found Hudson.

"Tractor beam off?" I asked Hudson.

"Sure is," he replied. "I took out some troops along the way, too."


"Yup," he nodded. "Totally quiet and sneaky-like. I am like Snake Eyes, a stone cold totally quiet killer. They never saw me coming."

"So you're silent but violent?" I asked.

"You got it," he grinned, full of pride.

I stopped.

"Wait a minute, what's today's date?"

"You mean on Earth, or the Queen's Galactic Calendar?" asked Jan.

"On Earth," I replied. I dialed up the calendar on my Wristcomm. "Hey, it's May 19th!"

"So?" shrugged Hudson.

"Tomorrow is my one year blogoversary!" I answered, allowing for more excitement than my current situation should allow.

"Oh, well, happy blogoversary," said Hudson.

"Yes, happy blogoversary," smiled Jan. Then she looked down. "I don't have a blog."

"Maybe some day you will," I answered. "Hey, why don't we take a look at my first post."

Jan and Hudson nodded in agreement and I called up my blog on my Wristcomm, then went to the first entry:

I fought Lord EyeBorg today (I believe "Lord" is an honorarium, he does not actually lord over anything). Though he is easily 30 years my senior and no match for my strength, his cybertetic claw and optic laser blast make him a tough opponent to be sure. After battling back and forth for over an hour, I finally got a solid punch in. The force of my strike sent him sprawling and he was stunned long enough for me to pluck his laser-firing eyepiece from it's socket.

Holding the weapon aloft, I yelled to the crowd "The 'eyes' have it!" The audience was beside itself, roaring and cheering my victory.

Victory, thy taste is sweet.

"That was... nice," Jan said.

"I liked that action hero line," Hudson smiled. "The eyes have it! The eyes have it! The eyes have it!"

"Yeah, well, sometimes I need work on those lines." I looked out past the fourth wall. "I want to thank everyone who's visited me here for the past year. You know who you are, go on stand up and give yourselves a big hand. Great. Now, just the ladies. Now just the men. Now just the men pretending to be ladies. Ha, I got you! Now you two in the back! Go on, stand up and clap."

Thank you.

“That was splendid” said the Queen.

“Thank you,” I said. “And thanks to all my Junior Intergalactic Gladiators out there. You’re the reason I’m doing this. Give yourselves a round of applause and keep watching the skies!”

Cool. I had a lot of fun writing the blog this year and I’ve want to thank all of my new Junior Intergalactic Gladiators that have found their way here as well as the ole faithful who’ve been around already. Thanks for stopping by these past twelve months; you make this old Intergalactic Gladiator proud. Go on, give yourselves a hand.

Like I said, this year’s been fun and there were quite a few happenings along the way: Jan had a great adventure with the Bandit, I saved Dr. Zaius from a giant Jimmy Olsen robot, I started up the Separated at Birth Series and the iDoodles, and I took a picture of a deer peeing. Oh yeah, I’m also running for president. So tell me, what was your favorite Intergalactic Gladiator moment from this past year? Go on, I’m listening…

That was super. I hope everyone had a swell time reading my blog this year.

#@(*&% Blagojevich burgers are on me! Yum-o!


Jean-Luc Picard said...

happy blogaversary, Jon

FranIAm said...

Happy Blogversary! I remember that we had the same day from last year.

Henchman432 said...

Happy Blogversay Jon,

I want my haiku.

Professor Xavier said...

On this momentous occasion, let me be the fourth to say - well done!

Lady Blah Blah said...

Happy Blogversary x

mwb said...

Awesome. Happy Blog Day - a bit late!

Some day we'll look back and laugh at the days when we posted our thoughts on-line - instead of beaming our thoughts directly into the brains of the masses.

Match said...

Happy Blogerversry

Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

Captain -- Thank you.

Fran -- You're right. hard for me to remember a year ago sometimes...

Hench -- Whoops. I missed that comment earlier. You'll get yours.

Prof -- Thank you.

Lady Blah Blah -- Thank you.

MWB -- Man, I'm getting too lazy to write on the blog and now you want me to beam it into other people's brains? Whew.

Match -- Thank you.

Dr. Zaius said...

Ack! Happy Belated Blogaversary, Jon!

Dr. Zaius said...

By the way, I am still having a bit of trouble with that giant Jimmy Olsen robot. He ate all of the corn muffins!

Gyrobo said...

♪ And Many More! ♬