Press Conference

“Ladies and Gentlemen of the press, thank you for coming tonight. I just wanted to take this opportunity to explain my actions of the past few weeks and to clear up the situation and prove my innocence in this whole Emma Frost scandal, or Emmagate as you have been calling it.

“As you can see by the chart that I had specially created for this conference, the warlord from the future Kang the Conqueror hired both Zartan, the Master of Disguise, as well as Mystique, the shape changing mutant, to pose as myself and Emma for the photographs. To add an element of authenticity, he told neither one that he was hiring the other.

“After working with my campaign manager, Professor Xavier to question the actual Emma Frost, we investigated Mystique’s hideout where I uncovered the plot, though I was bushwhacked by Zartan and Mystique in the process. I escaped that trap and worked my way towards Washington DC where I defeated Zartan’s goons, the Dreadnoks. I then hooked up with Agent Audrey Hanson, FBI and followed the signal sent by the Dreadnoks to a secret Cobra base at Mount Rushmore, Agent Hanson and I defeated the terrorists there and brought down their giant, expensive warship.

“After my last news conference, I was attacked by Kang himself who admitted to the plan as he attempted to kill me and take my place. I beat him and he fell to his death (I presume) off the Statue of Liberty.

“Unfortunately, this was the point where my arch-nemesis Dr. Nemonok kidnapped Professor Xavier’s brain and flew out towards Pluto in his spaceship. I quickly tracked him down with the aid of the X-Men and Captain Koma, saved Xavier’s brain, and destroyed Nemonok’s ship with him in it. And basically that leads us to here.”

(I looked out at the reporters who were staring wordlessly at me)

“OK, to sum it up here, the plan was from Kang, he hired Zartan and Mystique, I beat them, beat Kang, saved Xavier’s brain, and now I’m here. And of story, end of Emmagate. Any questions.?”

(The reporters started yelling and raising their hands all at once)


“Good evening, I’m Ted Koppel and this is my question: Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator, do you expect us to believe that all of this actually happened? Doesn’t this sound a little farfetched to believe?”


“I admit it does sound pretty crazy, but that’s what happened. See? Look at the chart.”

“I’m Ted Koppel and this is my follow up: you say Kang attacked you but you beat him, how do we know that you’re not really Kang?”

“Well, I know things that only I would know, like uh, my shoe size is 11 or that I got stitches right here on my chin because I fell on a nightstand as a child.”

“Gee that’s a swell story, mister, can I take a picture?”

“Sure, thank you.”

“Clark Kent, Daily Planet, While I certainly believe you when you say you’re you, and from what I see you’re heartbeat, blood pressure, and fingerprints clearly support that as evidence, do you still think that you can shake this scandal and get your campaign back on track?”

“I certainly think so. I think the American people are too smart to fall for some elaborate, Machiavellian scheme conjured up by some evil warlord from the future.”

“Flint Blasterly, Faux News Network. What do you think about the fact that most of the reporters here seem to be behaving like some sort of caricature? Do you think we really behave like this? Or are you trying for some easy joke?”

“No no, of course you’re not all a bunch of one-note characters. Isn’t that right, Dan Rather?”

“Jon, I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, when the three-legged mule beats you in an ass kicking contest, you better close the barn door and take the buttermilk home for the night.”

“See? Any other questions?”

“While pig’s in the poke and it’s second and short and we’re on the subject of accusations, what do you say about the recent rumors floating around that you’ve actually decided to campaign for president because you don’t like monkeys?”

“Well, I’ve got nothing against monkeys, really. I’d like to think that I’d make a better president than a monkey, though.”

“I think you’ve been reading too many funny books, Mr. Intergalactic Gladiator.”

“Thank you, do you have a question?”

“Yes I do, I’m starting to think that you don’t hate monkeys, I think you like them. I mean like like them. I think you’re guilty of monkeylove and should fry.”

“Heh heh, that’s absurd. I mean, sure I like monkeys just as I like any other creature of nature from the butterfly to the cheetah. I don’t harbor any unusual feelings for the ape family in particular, though.”

“You know what it sounds like to me? It seems like there’s some incident in your life and you’re telling everyone about it but you’re telling it differently than how it really happened. What does it feel like to be doing that?”

“I don’t know, you tell me. Next question?”

“What about the fact that you had a monkeyboy for a sidekick?”

“A monkey and a monkeyboy are two very different things. Monkeys are from Earth and are genetically very similar to us. Monkeyboys are from the planet Monkekbok, they have a vaguely defined morphing ability and are known throughout the universe for their annoying characteristics and abilities, and who knows what’s up with their genes. I was forced to have a monkeyboy for a sidekick once, I don’t like monkeyboys, and the relationship ended when the monkeyboy’s face was disintegrated.”

“What about the rumors that your relationship with the monkeyboy was more than that?”

“This is the first I’ve heard of that.”

“There’s been rumors floating around that your relationship with the monkeyboy was in fact a more casual one. Care to comment on that?”

“That’s pretty ridiculous. I didn’t like the monkeyboy, I didn’t socialize with him, I didn’t see him or any other monkeyboy outside of work, I don’t like monkeyboys. That’s my relationship with the monkeyboy.”

“So you say that you don’t fraternize with monkeyboys?”

“That’s what I’m saying. These rumors are ridiculous and if you think you can find evidence to the contrary, I’ll be very surprised.”

“So you’re saying that all these rumors are completely untrue?”

“That’s right. If you think you can uncover anything to the contrary, go ahead. I’m serious. If anyone thinks they can find anything on me, go ahead. I think you’ll be pretty bored looking.”

In space, everybody can hear when you blow up a ship real good

“Of all the half-witted, ignorant, boorish, unevolved actions you could have possibly taken, you chose the worst!”

It was Liliandra yelling at me, and she had been laying into me for a good ten minutes now. This is the maddest that I have ever seen a queen since, I don’t know, since there was the fight outside that bar on Halsted Street.

“Here I am, visiting your solar system on a personal mission of my own, welcomed by none other than Galacta IX and you try to spoil it by creating this intergalactic incident. Do you know what kind of paperwork my captain now has to fill out declaring that it was not actually a citizen of my empire who fired on that ship? Did you think you’d get away with this?”

“Yes ma’am. No ma’am,” I replied. I stood straight at attention. I figure that I’ll just let her expend all her anger on me, then admit to everyone who needs to know that I was the one who fired the cannon. Of course there will be complications due to the fact that I’m on this ship, in a time of peace, discharging the weapon. I’m sure Queen Galacta will let it slide once she knows who I fired at and why.

“Are you even listening to me?” Wow, she’s angry.

“Yes ma’am.”

“Get this man out of my sight!” she ordered her guards. “I don’t even want him on my ship anymore!”

The two guards hoisted me between them and pulled me towards the door.

“You highness,” I called out. “I fully admit to my actions and am perfectly willing to sign any document stating that I fired the cannon.”

“Get! Out!” she screamed.

The two guards threw my out into the corridor. “You have 20 minutes to get off this ship,” one stated.

“Then it’s hunting season,” the other laughed.

“Ha ha funny,” I laughed back. “Thanks guys.”

With nothing better to do, I walked back to the landing bay and my ship, the Danger Sled. I saw Professor Xavier waiting for me in front of the Sled’s access hatch.

“Well, I just illegally blew up a ship containing a brain in an overgrown fish tank, essentially touched off an intergalactic incident, and I got yelled at by the queen of the Shi’Ar Empire for the last 15 minutes,” I said to him. “So how’s your day been?”

“It could have been worse, considering.” The Professor indicated to the fresh scars running across his head from his recent brain removal and un-removal. “I wouldn’t worry about Lilandra, of course she’s upset but she needs to look out for her people. I’m sure this will blow over quickly.”

“Yeah, blow over,” I repeated. “In the meantime, I need to head on out before some of her goons decide to shoot first and ask questions later. You looking for a ride?”

“I would say no thank you at this time,” he responded. “Lilandra and I have been separated for quite some time and after getting the chance to see her again, I have decided to stay onboard her ship to, er, get reacquainted. I’m not sure how long we have together.”

“Sure, I get it,” I grinned. “Don’t wait up, right?”

I popped into my ship and waved back to the Professor. “Well don’t be too long, huh? I still have to hold a press conference and explain that Kang the Conqueror was the whole instigator of Emmagate.”

“Kang the Conqueror! I should have known,” Xavier exclaimed. “Well, good luck with that press conference, then. I have the upmost confidence in your oratory skills.”

“Well don’t you want any details about my encounter with Kang?” I asked.

“No no, as I said, I am confident in your abilities and as such, I have no doubt you handled yourself accordingly.”

“Yeah, but Kang,” I said. “He’s a pretty bad dude, you know.”

“I know, I know,” the mutant replied. “But why don’t you tell me about it some other time?”

“Well OK, I guess,” I waved. “See you later, have fun storming the castle.”

“Is that what you kids call it these days?” Xavier shouted back to me above the whine of my engines warming up. I kicked in the repulsors and slid out into space. I then fired up my engines and swung the ship around the spot where Nemonok’s craft was. I wanted to run a scan to be sure there was nothing left. All I could detect was debris scattering across space.

“Can’t say that I’ll miss you,” I muttered as I aimed my ship towards Earth.

This is Xavier's brain, this is Xavier's brain on the floor, any questions?

I saw Professor Xavier’s brain fly through the air as I crashed to the deck of Nemonok’s ship. I felt the agony of defeat as gooey brain matter splattered all over. The walls, the deck, on the furniture, on Wolverine. It was a mess and I felt defeated in a way that I had never felt before.

Nemonok, still affected by the neural attack laughed giddily.

“You have failed to rescue your precious Xavier, you sillies! Evil will always win because good is clumsy!”

Then a most unusual feeling came over me. Something like my underwear being turned inside out with me still wearing it, but not quite. Something kind of like being a 7-year-old child and having an ice cream cone taken away, but not quite. Something like trying to swim up a current with a cinderblock tied to my ankle, but again not quite. It felt kind of like going back in time between 10 and 15 seconds, but that didn’t seem right, either.

Captain Koma shouted “Stop!”

“What the hell is it?” I shouted while holding up the brain pan with Xavier’s brain in it. “Are you trying to make me drop the Professor?”

“Ha! Just the opposite, actually!” he called out triumphantly. “It’s a good thing Nemonok has an Omega 13 installed.”

“An Omega 13?”

“It’s a device that sends everything back 13 seconds,” Koma explained.

“Well of course, I know that,” I replied quickly. “Still, 13 seconds? That’s not much.”

“It’s enough to redeem a single mistake,” answered Koma with a smirk. “Such as splattering Xavier’s brains all over the deck. Now let's go.”

“Thirteen seconds back into the past?” Wolverine stepped towards us while scratching the top of his head. “Big deal.”

“Well, it’s a pretty good defensive measure,” I replied. “You wind up firing at someone who won’t be there for another 13 seconds. There’s a certain element of surprise to it.”

“Yeah, well 13 seconds still ain’t a whole flamin’ lot, I’m sayin,” Wolverine harrumphed.

“Yes, well it was just enough to save my life,” Xavier’s brain called out.

“Charles, is that you?” Emma Frost asked.

“Yes, I am of course communicating to everyone psionically as I now lack a mouth to speak,” he answered. “Thank you for this daring rescue and thank you Captain Koma for preventing this clumsy oaf from dropping me.”

“Hey!”

“Ha ha ha ha! You still haven’t won, fools!” Nemonok’s brain tank careened past us. “I’m going to get all my evil psychiatrist friends together and we’ll make a band and then we’ll show you what evil’s all about! I’ll play the bongos, Dr. Membranos will bring the nachos, it'll be a cool time.”

Nemonok’s brain tank continued to spin out of control until it slammed into a computer terminal. Sparks flew and gurgling noises erupted.

“Wow, man what a ride.”

“This still isn’t over!” Nemonok’s main squeeze Gun Nut popped out of the shadows with a heavy blaster in hand.

“For you it is!” Chroma replied and sent the mohawked assasin sprawling to the ground with a steel-handed punch.

“And on that note, let’s go,” Koma smirked. He thumbed the controls of his teleporter and we instantly found ourselves back on board the Shi’Ar ship. Medical technicians rushed up and grabbed the Professor’s brain and body and hurried off with Koma rushing after them followed by Chroma and Emma Frost.

That left the rest of us with nothing really to do, Iceman and I looked at each other and shrugged.

“Now what?” Wolverine grunted impatiently.

I casually wandered off towards a gunner’s station and listened in on the operator’s conversation.

“Station Four reporting. I still have a weapon’s lock on the enemy vessel. The vessel is not moving.”

“Do not fire,” a voice crackled over the comm back to him. “That ship is still disabled and the Queen will not allow an intergalactic incident.”

“All loaded up and no place to go, huh?” I asked offhandedly.

“Pfft, yeah,” the gunner grumbled. “I got the thing dead to rights. And you just know that if they get an ounceling of power back, they’ll just go straight back to stealth mode and disappear.”

“Yeah, that’s what they always do, all right,” I chuckled. “This looks a lot like the M5 Powertron Pulse Cannon I used to shoot back in the ol’ space navy days. Pretty sweet.”

“Yeah, well it’s been quite a few years since we’ve had the M5’s,” he answered. “This thing’s got a heavier wattage + damage ratio, low dispersal rate, and a better cycling and cooling system.”

“Cool,” I replied with just a little awe. “And this readout shows your target lock?”

“Uh huh,” He nodded.

“And this is the fire button, right?”

“Yeah, but you don’t want to press that,” he replied quickly. “You know, Commander’s orders and all.”

“Oh yeah, you wouldn’t want to fire…” I said.

Quickly before he could stop me, I slammed my hand on the firing button. A blast of powerful energy lanced across space and slammed full into Nemonok’s ship. It instantly erupted into a ball of flame.

“…But I would,” I grinned.

Professor Xavier's Brain is Still Missing!

The brain.

Professor Xavier’s brain.

As I watched it sail through the air, I thought of the –what, last 30 or so minutes that just occurred right in front of me.

I thought back to landing on the deck of that Shi’ar craft and seeing Captain Koma’s partner Chroma just about take the head off the Scarlet Witch. They were quickly separated by a lightning bolt and a warning from Storm.

“See, this is why I like to work alone,” I whispered to Cyclops who was standing next to me.

“Why, because you can’t shoot lightning bolts out of your hands?” he asked.

I clasped my hand to my forehead.

Xavier’s brain was still in the air, it seemed like it was just floating there, my own brain was racing back to mere moments after that altercation.

Queen Lilandra of the Shi’ar Empire had appeared practically at Earth’s doorstep. I knew Xavier’s brain and Dr. Nemonok were just a few hundred feet away in Nemonok’s own craft. I also knew that it wouldn’t last a moment against this battle cruiser. I had to get her to stand down.

“My Queen,” I bowed slightly as to acknowledge her place. “As an authorized deputy of the throne of Queen Galacta IX and Her galaxy, it is my duty to… request that you stand down your battleship and return to your own galaxy, stellar quadrant, or nearest side dimension of convenience.”

“Galacta knows full well why I am here.” Lilandra held aloft an official document. “As Charles Xavier is my consort, I am well within my rights established by the Pan Galactic Treaty of New Betel. I hereby claim dominion over Charles Xavier and all that is his, namely his brain.”

“Er, OK,” I answered. Nuts, I’m outgunned.

“Your majesty if we may,” spoke up Emma Frost. “Allow us to recapture Xavier’s brain for you. You could demand its return to engage their attention as we sneak aboard that ship.”

“Very well,” she agreed after the briefest deliberation. “You have but this one opportunity. Do not fail, or I shall have to send in my own troops and I assure you, they will not.”

“Sweet, I’m gonna make a brain-ke-bob outta that Nemonok,” Wolverine growled as he popped his trademark claws.

“Yeah, but how are we getting over there?” asked Iceman.

“Please allow me,” Captain Koma answered with a flourish of his hand.

The brain. All this over one brain. One remarkable brain, capable of so much more than any ordinary person’s. And it hung there in the air. The Professor’s life, as all of our own hung in the balance along with it.

Instant henchmen instantly sprung up around us when we teleported into the craft and the X-Men and Chroma instantly engaged them. I took out one with a headshot from trusty Betsy, my blaster pistol. I looked around the melee and saw Captain Koma slip towards Dr. Nemonok.

“Eat this,” the Australian spat as he fired his weapon at the evil psychiatrist.

“Ha ha,” the brain floating in the jar laughed back. “Your neural weapon cannon harm me, my containment jar is resistant to such paltry attacks.”

Koma shrugged slightly and fired once, twice, three times more at the floating brain.

“Foolish human, I told you that your weapon cannot—whoa…” his voice got deeper and slower. “Hey, I can see my voice. My voice. My… voice... Hey can you see that, man? That’s real cool. Look at the colors.”

As everyone’s attention turned towards Nemonok, I found Xavier’s brain sitting in a shallow dish and plugged into the ship’s computer system.

“Hold on,” I said. “I’ll get you out.”

I’ve never seen a brain smile before but I could almost swear that this one did right then and there. I’d prefer to think that it didn’t though, a smiling brain just sounds too creepy.

I quickly unhooked the cabling connecting his brain to the ship and lifted it. I hoisted the pan and its contents away from the console, suspension fluid sloshed from side to side along the way.

His brain, in my hands.

I quickly turned to make my way clear of the fighting. Maybe I could beam back to the Shi’Ar ship or maybe Koma could teleport me away, but I had the brain and it would soon be safe.

But then I tripped.

And the brain sailed high into the air, away from the pan, away from my reach. I saw it arc gently as I felt the ship’s gravity claim my own body and pull it to the deck.

“Oh shi-----!”

Xavier's brain is Missing!

After my little aerial engagement with Nemonok, I decided to fly to the Xavier’s Mansion to hook up with the X-Men. Along the way, I saw the charred fuselage of their Blackbird jet smoldering on the ground. I quickly landed and ran up to the site of the wreckage. Looks like their plane got shot down again but I didn’t see any X-Men here though.

“That damned bitch, where did she go?” I heard a shout. I turned and saw Captain Koma standing there with his fists balled up in impotent rage. Some woman was standing next to him with her arms crossed and a perturbed look on her face.

“Koma!” I ran up to him. Yeah, I know Koma’s a villain but I honestly haven’t heard anything about him in like two years. Plus he’s Australian; the Land Down Under isn’t my usual stomping grounds. “Hey what’s going on?”

Koma begrudgingly explained that he was in the X-Jet with the X-Men when it was shot down. He then went on to explain that the Scarlet Witch met up with the group and She elected to take them to Xavier’s brain. Instead, it seems, she teleported them all over the world, then dumped off Koma and his companion here and disappeared completely. He ended his tirade with one more curse aimed at the magical mutant.

“I was just fighting Nemonok a short while ago,” I explained. “I damaged his ship but he warped away. Fortunately, it was a space fold and my ship’s sensors were able to track where he warped to. His ship’s on the outer reaches of this solar system.”

“Well let’s go get him,” Koma growled.

“There’s room for two more on the Danger Sled.” I threw a thumb back towards my ship.

“Then let’s go,” the woman said.

We quickly roared into the upper reaches of the atmosphere and headed on an intercept course with Nemonok’s ship. Once in flight, Koma introduced me to his companion Chroma and explained her ability to turn into living metal.

“Hey, that’s pretty cool,” I said. “I bet when you’re metal, you don’t have to worry about needing a sports bra or anything, huh?”

Behind my back, Chroma made some sort of gesture at me though I couldn’t see it as I looked at my scopes. From the copilot’s seat, Koma calmed her down with a placating gesture.

“When you’re done insulting her,” he said icily, perhaps you could tell us how long it’ll take us to get there.”

“Oh we’ll be there real fast,” I answered. “The only problem is, we won’t be alone. Sensors have picked up a battle cruiser in the area. If Nemonok’s calling in reinforcements, Earth may be in a lot of trouble.”

“Your sensors indicate that it’s a Shi’Ar craft,” Koma said while looking at the scopes from his position.

“Well that certainly makes things interesting,” I muttered.

“The Shi’Ar?” Chroma asked.

“Yeah, a race of bird people,” Koma explained. “They’ve got a pretty big galactic empire and oh yeah, Xavier and their queen have the hots for each other.”

“I can imagine why they’re here, then,” she replied with a guffaw.

“Yeah well, we’ll be face to face with them soon enough,” I muttered. “They’ve got us in a tractor beam.”

The Danger Sled shuddered as the warship’s beams pulled and guided us to its docking bay.

Happy Blogoversary

Look at that! It’s my third blogversary and it just snuck up on us like that. I’ve been blogging here since May 20, 2005 and you know what that means? I need to get out more.

More importantly, it means that we need to celebrate. Go ahead and get yourself a drink. Make it a Yo Joe Cola or a glass of Champagne, I’ll wait.

Alright, as is my custom, let’s take a look back at my last few blogversaries, shall we?

On Throneworld, in the throne room of the Queen of the Galaxy, an unusual cast of characters gather. The group includes Private Hudson, Jan the Intergalactic Gladiator, Major Rocksun, Royal Technician Lombarr, and Queen Galacta IX herself, of course. I took a deep breath and stepped through the doors and into the room. My heals made a distinct and echoing clacking sound as I strode across the regal floor towards the Queen’s ornate seat. I gave a quick bow “Your majesty.” “Welcome once again, Gladiator,” the Queen acknowledged. “To what do we owe this honor?” “Queen Galacta,” I paused and turned to the others. “Major Rockson, Private Hudson, Jan, Lombarr and everybody else here, this is a special day. A very special day.” “What is it?” asked Jan. “What could it be?” asked Rocksun. “Is it V-Day?” asked Hudson. “Or D-Day? Or VD-Day?” “VD-Day?” grimaced Jan. “Ew.” “Nope,” I grinned. “It’s my second Blogoversary!” “Wow,” Jan said. “Congratulations.” “Thank you, thank you,” I said. “Lombarr, would you be so kind as to throw up last year’s Blogoversary post on the telemonitor?” “Certainly.” Lombarr threw a switch and the post showed up on the viewer. Along the way, we found Hudson. "Tractor beam off?" I asked Hudson. "Sure is," he replied. "I took out some troops along the way, too." "Really?" "Yup," he nodded. "Totally quiet and sneaky-like. I am like Snake Eyes, a stone cold totally quiet killer. They never saw me coming." "So you're silent but violent?" I asked. "You got it," he grinned, full of pride. I stopped. "Wait a minute, what's today's date?" "You mean on Earth, or the Queen's Galactic Calendar?" asked Jan. "On Earth," I replied. I dialed up the calendar on my Wristcomm. "Hey, it's May 19th!" "So?" shrugged Hudson. "Tomorrow is my one year blogoversary!" I answered, allowing for more excitement than my current situation should allow. "Oh, well, happy blogoversary," said Hudson. "Yes, happy blogoversary," smiled Jan. Then she looked down. "I don't have a blog." "Maybe some day you will," I answered. "Hey, why don't we take a look at my first post." Jan and Hudson nodded in agreement and I called up my blog on my Wristcomm, then went to the first entry: I fought Lord EyeBorg today (I believe "Lord" is an honorarium, he does not actually lord over anything). Though he is easily 30 years my senior and no match for my strength, his cybertetic claw and optic laser blast make him a tough opponent to be sure. After battling back and forth for over an hour, I finally got a solid punch in. The force of my strike sent him sprawling and he was stunned long enough for me to pluck his laser-firing eyepiece from it's socket. Holding the weapon aloft, I yelled to the crowd "The 'eyes' have it!" The audience was beside itself, roaring and cheering my victory. Victory, thy taste is sweet. "That was... nice," Jan said. "I liked that action hero line," Hudson smiled. "The eyes have it! The eyes have it! The eyes have it!" "Yeah, well, sometimes I need work on those lines." I looked out past the fourth wall. "I want to thank everyone who's visited me here for the past year. You know who you are, go on stand up and give yourselves a big hand. Great. Now, just the ladies. Now just the men. Now just the men pretending to be ladies. Ha, I got you! Now you two in the back! Go on, stand up and clap." Thank you. “That was splendid” said the Queen. “Thank you,” I said. “And thanks to all my Junior Intergalactic Gladiators out there. You’re the reason I’m doing this. Give yourselves a round of applause and keep watching the skies!”

Cool. I had a lot of fun writing the blog this year and I’ve want to thank all of my new Junior Intergalactic Gladiators that have found their way here as well as the ole faithful who’ve been around already. Thanks for stopping by these past twelve months; you make this old Intergalactic Gladiator proud. Go on, give yourselves a hand.

Like I said, this year’s been fun and there were quite a few happenings along the way: Jan had a great adventure with the Bandit, I saved Dr. Zaius from a giant Jimmy Olsen robot, I started up the Separated at Birth Series and the iDoodles, and I took a picture of a deer peeing. Oh yeah, I’m also running for president. So tell me, what was your favorite Intergalactic Gladiator moment from this past year? Go on, I’m listening…

Dogfight!

I was upon Dr. Nemonok’s stealthship in no time. I quickly intercepted it and fired at it with my ship’s cannons.

“Dr. Nemonok, this is Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator,” I called out over the radio. “Surrender your ship and you will not be destroyed.”

“Very well, Gladiator. There’s just one thing… this!”

“Nice try, but I marked you with those last shots,” I replied. “Going stealth won’t hide you from my sensors.”

“That is quite the sneaky trick, old friend. I suppose that I will have to dispose of you the old fashioned way.”

Nemonok’s ship turned over in the air and he fired his own energy weapons at me. I dodged and weaved and avoided the retaliation, then let him have a few more shots to let him know I mean business.

“I’m serious, Nemonok,” I announced. “Land your craft or I’ll force you down.”

“You won’t knock me out of the skies so easily, fool. You do realize the precious cargo that I am carrying, don’t you?”

“I imagine that it’s a couple cans of dome wax for that big jar of yours.” My comm system pinged my with another message. “Hold on.”

“What? You’re in the middle of aerial combat with me and you just decide to take another call?”

“I said hold please.” I clicked him off and brought up the message. Why it’s a meme from that fowl dog of an ape, Dr. Zaius. I suppose that I have no choice but to answer it.

* The rules of the game get posted at the beginning.

* Each player answers the questions about himself or herself.

* At the end of the post, the player then tags five people and posts their names, then goes to their blogs and leaves them a comment, letting them know they’ve been tagged and asking them to read your blog.

1. Ten years ago I was:

Well, I wasn’t an Intergalactic Gladiator, that’s for sure. I was merely gladiating for state and local municipalities.

2. Five Things on Today's To Do List:

Hmm, get Paxton to daycare.
Get Kiera to school.
Get to work
Do work
Get home

3. Things I'd do if I were a billionaire:

I would produce Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator: The Movie. Come on, you know you’d want to see that.

4. Three Bad Habits:

I am awfully cluttered. I’m not a slob per se, but there’s just a lot of stuff that needs to be cleaned up.
I sometimes get annoyed with some of the characteristics that my daughter Kiera displays despite the fact that they’re very much like my own.
BrickBreaker on my Wirstcomm.


5. Five Places I've lived:

Chicago, IL; Charleston, IL; Istanbul, Ft Bragg, NC, Ft. Gordon GA

6. Five Jobs I've had in life:

• Intergalactic Gladiator
• Single Channel Radio Operator/ Satellite Radio Operator/maintainer
• PR Intern
• Inspector of Weights and Measures for the State of Illinois
• Pizza delivery
Let’s see, who shall I tag? Novi, Professor X (I know you’re just a brain in a jar right now, just do your best), Vegeta, Captain Koma, and Ciera.

With that little bit of business out of the way, I turned my full attention to my dogfight with Nemonok, only to discover that there was some sort of energy bubble envelop my nemesis. Before I could do anything else, the craft completely disappeared off my scopes.

Blast, he warped away.