Friday, September 23, 2005

Wives Say The Darndest Things

My wife Patricia talks in her sleep.

When she was a girl, she and her sister used to have conversations with each other in their sleep. Both talked back and forth to each other, conversing about seperate topics. Their father used to go into their room to tell them to get to sleep, but would wind up just standing there, amusedly listening to what was going on.

Nowadays, her sleep talking isn't too bad, but when we first moved in together, the stress of us getting married, her having a baby and working as an inner-city teacher produced many interesting (albiet one-sided) conversations.

It's never anything sexual or anything like "Oh I love you Drew Carey." What she sees in that beer drinking, mildly overweight, mildly funny former serviceman with a bad haircut I'll never know. Wait a minute, why does that description sound familiar?

That was Drew Carey, not Drew and Carrey. Nyuk nyuk.

That's better.
Once she said something to me completely in Spanish. The next morning when I told her about it, she asked "Well, how was my grammar?"

Several months ago, she told me that she couldn't give me a C for that.

A few weeks after that, she told me that I made a "Valiant, valiant effort."

She once told me that she couldn't believe that I just did that. I asked her what I did and she refused to tell me.

Her sleep talking is not as bad now (or at least I don't notice it). It's kind of funny, but when I get woken up by it, I have to determine if she really is talking to me or if she's actually sleep talking.

The most suprising though, was the first time that she woke me up with it. She said "Oh, I love you." I groggily answered "I love you, too."

"Quiet, I wasn't talking to you!" was her reply to me.

30 comments:

Shannon said...

Hi from michele's! You should write them all down for your grandkids, better yet a book, you could get millions!

Theresa said...

Had to tell you, that I am glad I decided to visit you as well, in addition to Janet, via Michele's. Very funny! My hubby claims I talk in my sleep too, but I don't think I've ever told him to be quiet because I wasn't talking to him! LOL

Trista said...

Came to your site via Michele's! I used to talk in my sleep when I was a child, but it was mainly incoherent babbling. I think its interesting that your wife has full-on conversations.

Loved the way you ended this story.

Karnov said...

LOL. Good anecdote.

colleen said...

Once I talked in my sleep and my husband answered in his sleep...the right answer! It freaked me out so much that I woke up. Great post...love the ending. Michele sent me.

Shannon said...

Hi, Michele sent me (although I am regular visitor as "Padme" of Star Wars Unmasked fame - he he). I once caught my husband giving me subliminal messages in my sleep. I woke up to find him whispering something about me not needing a new car... !!

Michelle said...

"Quiet, I wasn't talking to you!" was her reply to me.

hilarious! I hope I don't talk in my sleep. some of my dreams should be kept a secret :)

thanks for stopping by my blog earlier!

Cin said...

LOL!

This is how I get my darling partner to reveal all his secrets...

Here via Michele.

Ciera said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Ciera said...

I once walked into the bedroom I shared with my sister and turned out the light. She told me to turn it back on, i missed the reason why so I did and found her hanging over the side of her bed, empty hands held out. I asked her why I had to turn the light back on and she, shaking those empty hands of hers said, "I'm playing gameboy."

Anonymous said...

omg TOO funny! lol

Here via Michele's meet n greet. Love your site! :)

Chana
www.bunnyburrow.com

Oreo said...

HAHAHA Thanks for visiting me! Yes, I'm talking to you....HAHAHAHA

Jean-Luc Picard said...

Ouch! That must have been hurtful!

Shannon said...

you think it still counts when we say Hi! from michele's 16,000 times to one person?

j00|{z said...

Hilarious. Who was she talking to then?

TC said...

The talking in her sleep stories are funny! I wonder who she was saying she loved?

Michele sent me

Princessa said...

HAHAHAHAH!!!!!

My husband has said that I talked in my sleep several times! He's even woken up to me holding my arms straight up in the air.

Sooo funny....

TC said...

here again via michele's

TC said...

here again via michele's

Russ said...

Hi Jon, here from Michele's place.
I think it's great that she talks in her sleep.
I don't have a wife, but my Golden Retiever, Sunny makes funny sounds while she sleeps. Once she told me to buy more dog snacks. Or was that just the T.V.?

Carmi said...

Wasn't this a really old - and great - song by The Romantics?

Here from Michele's. Hope you're well-rested!

E said...

Hi, from Michele's...this post cracked me up. I talk in my sleep, too, but it's usually undecipherable. Have a great weekend.

Blond Girl said...

I've heard of sleep talkers but never met one. Sounds interesting. Michele sent me, by the way.

My husband doesn't sleep talk, but he does lift up his head, look around, and generally look everywhere. I wake up, realize his pillow is missing and tell him "lift your head, honey." He does, I replace his pillow and his head goes back down. Happens about once a week and he never remembers a moment of it!

Angela said...

I'm definitely a sleep talker and I always felt so bad for my roommates in the dorms when I was in college. They'll always have great stories like this to tell about their lunatic roommate though!

Here from Michele's :)

RC said...

My hamster Duckie talks in his sleep, but I don't understand it since it's not in English, but when I see him smile in his sleep, it makes me happy.

Hi, Michele sent me!

Maybe your wife was saying I love you to your baby, or repeating a Barney song.

I hope you are having a nice weekend, Jon!

Thaleia said...

I talk in my sleep too... my hubby sometimes tells me I told him interesting stuff at night :)

Hope you sleep well tonight

Alley said...

bwhahahaha, thats fantastic! This is especially fun as I have noticed that you have 2 blogs, this one definately appeals to me, but your other one is right up my partners alley, so expect to see plenty of us in the future :-)

Thanks for visiting my blog b.t.w ALL visitors are welcome :-)

Alley

A-Dub said...

The stuff about having conversations in your sleep with other people? Yeah, I used to do that when I was a kid. My mom worked nights, so I spent the night with family friends. all of us kids talked in our sleep.

Geekwif said...

Thought I'd return the visit and I'm glad I did! That's hilarious!

dena said...

I used to talk in my sleep, but it gradually lessened, and now no one tells me about my sleep conversations anymore. That saddens me a bit because I enjoyed hearing about the things I discussed. And I've never heard anyone else sleeptalk either, which makes me very envious of your situation.