Tuesday, October 10, 2006

The crowd was cheering; I was facing off against my old nemesis Baron Roughhausen. It had been a long match and we were both worn down from physical punishment delivered. Sometimes I wonder when I can retire.

“Give it up, Earthman!” Roughhausen growled. “I’d hate to have to really hurt you.”

“But you’ve been doing so well at it all along,” I retorted. “You should keep up the good work of really hurting me.”

Roughhausen howled and threw himself at me; with little grace, I tossed him over my shoulder. He landed on his hands and knees and slowly started picking himself up while huffing and puffing.

I moved in to end the match when he threw dirt in my face. The oldest trick in the book!

“Argh, my eyes!” I clasped the palm of my hands into my face and stumbled back.

“Ha ha, your end is near!” my opponent gleefully charged me again.

I flipped him over my shoulder. As he landed on the ground, I cradled his arms and head in a submission hold.

“Faking being hurt by dirt in the face is the second oldest trick in the book,” I said to him as he passed out.

I stood up and pumped my fists into the air as the announcer called me the winner. With the crowd cheering, I made my way out of the arena.

“Game over for the Baron, huh Jon?” Hudson smiled as he greeted me in the corridor.

“Yeah,” I answered. “That was… fun…”

“Well, I got something pretty cool to tell you.” Hudson looked like he was about to burst with joy. “Something cool.”


“Yeah,” he stopped and leaned against the wall near a set of doors. “You won’t believe it when you hear it.”

“Well, are you going to tell me?” I asked. Why’s he dragging this out like this?

“Of course,” he answered. “I –”

Suddenly, the doors burst open and a legion of creatures poured through chattering and howling. Hudson yelled as they scooped him up and carried him off. I quickly weighed my options and ran to get my weapons.

I threw open my locker and pulled out my gun belt. I snapped it to my waist and ran back out the door. As I was running, I pulled Betsy and Winona out of their holsters and checked their charges. My two blaster pistols whistled to life as I thumbed their activators.

Throwing myself through the demolished doors to outside, I saw the last of the howling creatures off in the distance. I quickly sprinted after them. Fortunate for me, it was easy to follow their trail.

I quickly closed the distance between myself and my quarry when I saw that the monsters were all moving en masse into a cavern.

That’s interesting, I thought. I don’t remember seeing that cave before.

I fired at the retreating troglodytes, but my shots hit rock surrounding the cave. I made it to the entrance just after the last of the creatures disappeared into the depths, their noise dissipating into the echoes.

With my weapons drawn, I peered into the darkness.

“Well, I guess I gotta do what I gotta do,” I muttered out loud. Of course I didn’t know what those things were or why they took Hudson. Maybe I should let them keep him… they’ll soon beg me to take him back. Nah, I’m the hero, I have to go do the hero thing.

“I shall lead you into the depths,” said a calm voice. “That is, if you want to go.”

I whirled around and looked at the owner of the voice.

“Who are you?” I asked.

“I am Virgil.”


Karnov said...

Pizza... definitely pizza.

Summer Dawn O'Ciardha said...

Oh Jon, bless your heart dear. If you need some help, I think my older sister is down there.

If you need anyhelp, be sure to keep some salt with you.

Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

Salt for my pizza? That doesn't make any sense.

Darth Nepharia said...

Well, salt IS good for witches and snails....judging from their looks, they could be a combination of both....

Danny Bailey said...


Professor Xavier said...

Talking about having a stony face. Just remember, you can't trust a guy's whose lips don't move when he talks.

Summer Dawn O'Ciardha said...

A circle of salt can trap a demon in, or keep a demon out.

Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

Oh, that circle of salt.