Monday, June 04, 2007

What was that thing with the thing?

Guest Poster Jan the Intergalactic Aviator

Bandit and I were closing in on our destination, we already made it to the galaxy and we should reach the rendezvous in due time. After our earlier encounter, Bandit has continued with the silly remarks, but he’s kept his distance from me. The further the better I say.

Still, the guy does have a certain flair and charm.

That just made me shudder.

This will all be over soon and I’m being paid very well for this little trip. That half up front will cover the fuel, tolls, and expenses, but I don’t think that I can relax until I get the other half. Operating an intergalactic ship like this sure gets expensive.

Speaking of expenses, what was that lingering in the back of my mind? Something back there is just nagging me like I forgot something. For the life of me, I can’t think of what it is, though. It’s something about money. Did I pay my insurance this month? I’m sure I did, but maybe I should check. No it’s not the insurance, it’s something else. Did I miss someone’s birthday? Was it Ranae’s? No that can’t be it. I did want to send her a thank you though for her help from the other day. She’s my BFF. God, I can’t believe I just said that, what am I 13 or something? Anyway, I don’t get to see her much because of the distance, but she’s always been a good friend especially since that time we worked together on Leechii 2. Ugh, that was a horrible, horrible job. Her orders were to defend the Leechiis from the invading Troutee forces and I was hired to help evacuate their prime minister. What a disgusting day that was. A job’s a job, right? Just pick up the PM and head on out, no problem you say, right? Not when Leechii 2 is inhabited by leeches. Giant leeches. Giant nasty, slimy, sticky, gross and yes, blood sucking leeches. With giant, drooly gooey sucker mouths. I hate leeches, perhaps the only thing I hate in this universe more than leeches is okra, but not by much. I guess I have to consider myself lucky that I only had a couple of them in my ship. Ranae had to help defend a whole planet of 3 meter tall versions of the thing that probably disgusts me the most in life. I just shuddered a little bit again. Hey, Bandit and leeches both make me shudder. Coincidence? I think not. Anyway, I have to send Ranae a thank you for her help, she’s a sweetie. Not catty at all or anything like a few other women I know (not to mention any names). I hope she and that handsome Captain that she’s dating are doing well. Mmm, he is so fine. I hear some of the ladies call him Captain McDreamy. Are those two engaged now? I’m not sure, sometimes it seems that their relationship spends more time being on and off than the faucet of a kitchen sink. Hee hee, that was pretty funny. Maybe that was it, maybe I need to send her a congrats finally getting that big lug to commit. No that can’t be it, either. I need to take notes or keep a journal or something.


Nightwing said...

What did you forget? Pain killers? Lindt chocolate? kicking Hudson's groin? Tampons?
Hopefully it's something fun like kicking Hudson's groin then something icky like tampons.

Vegeta said...

Giant leeches eh? I had to clean a planet of of giant tape worms. I still get shivers thinking of Giant worms.

Karnov said...


Jean-Luc Picard said...

Captain McDreamy? Perhaps I ought to get Bev to call me that?

Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

What's that called when you go way off on a tagent like that? Eggs and bacon. I wonder what my dog is doing right now.

Master Adana said...

Yes, what did you forget? I am curious now.

Getting a little sidetracked there?

Professor Xavier said...

Leeches suck.

Skywalker said...

They do. I've had a few on me.

They suck.

No pun.

Dark Jedi Kriss said...

Ani, that was crass.

But true.