Friday, June 01, 2007

Warping to our Destination

Guest Poster: Jan the Intergalactic Aviator

Bo Bandit and I were in my ship the Pegasus Elite and warping to a galaxy far, far away. Stowed in the cargo hold were the BERE Cores as well as Bandit’s own ship the Bandit. Don’t even ask me why a guy named Bandit would name his ship Bandit. Must be ego, I guess.

Our plan is that once we close to the destination, Bandit will take the Bandit and run interference, keeping the attention on himself and away from my ship and its cargo. From what I can tell, he should be pretty good at it as he appears to be the kind of guy who craves attention. Everything about him screams “look at me,” from his rugged good looks to that wisecracking persona that he carries like it’s the only thing in the galaxy that matters. Even the hat he wears draws attention straight to him.

“Do you always wear that hat?”

“I will take it off for a pretty lady,” he answered with a grin. “Do you want me to take it off?”

“That won’t be necessary,” I assured him.

“I can take it off for you, honey,” he continued.

I roll my eyes and get out of the pilot’s seat. I make my way to one of the stations to run a calibration. When I turn around, he’s right there next to me.

“You know, we’ve a long way to go,” he said.

“And a short while to get there, right?”

“Hah ha,” Bandit’s eyes sparkled as he laughed. “You might say that.”


“You know, Jan,” he continued. “It’s awfully lonely out in space.”

Oh please, not that line…

“What I’m trying to say is that you’re a good looking woman, I’m a good looking man, why don’t we make some good looking babies together?”

“You want to be a father?” I asked.

“Well, anyone can change,” he answered as he stepped closer to me. “It takes a special lady to change a man and you’re a special lady. I mean it.”

“Really?” I felt my cheeks flush a little. “You mean it?”

“Sure,” he said a little sheepishly. “That’s one of the reasons I hired you. I think you’re a real sweet gal and I think you and I go well together.”

“So we’d make a great team?” I asked. I could feel my blood racing through my body. My heart was pounding as leaned towards him.

“Sure,” he answered while throwing the best roguish grin possible at me. “You and me, baby. We couldn’t lose.”

I love roguish grins.

“I don’t know.” My warm breath danced across his neck. “How do I know I can trust you?”

“You can’t, pretty lady,” he replied in almost a whisper. “But maybe you should just take a chance anyway.”

“You know what I think?” I whispered as I put my arm on his shoulder. His body felt warm so close to mine.

“What’s that?” he murmured.

“Don’t you ever, ever try this again,” I growled as I grabbed his ear and gave it a twist.

“Ow ow ow ow.”

“If you try any of this crap on me again, I’ll make sure you don’t ever have to worry about making babies. Got it?” I twisted some more and he quickly bent over from the pain.”

“Ow ow ow,” he winced. “OK OK, I got it. Lemme go!”

“I mean it.” Another twist of his ear put Bandit on his knee. His face twisted in pain again as his hand hit the deck for balance. “Do. You. Understand. Me?”

“Ow ow ow.” His teeth clenched and his eyelids pressed together. “I got it, I got it.”

“Good.” I let go of his ear and stalked off back towards the cockpit.

“You gotta admit,” Bandit said to nobody in particular. “That gal’s got spunk.”


Jean-Luc Picard said...

Bandit's seduction technique doesn't quite please Jan.

Dark Jedi Kriss said...

Seduction must be done really well for it work.

Not that I would know. :-)

Skywalker said...

I like a girl with spunk!

Darth Vader said...

Nothing wrong with a hot woman with spunk.

Vegeta said...

At this point Dr. Chaos may have a better chance.

Jean-Luc Picard said...

My 100th TWQ is on now. I hope you list your dinner guest selection.

Nightwing said...

I'd never want to have your babies, I'd want to have you instead!

Master Adana said...

Seduction is an art and should neither be rushed nor plump.

Master Obi-Wan said...

*raises eyebrow* YOu know about seduction?

Bandit's approach is not the best.