Monday, September 29, 2008

God Bless My Underpants

God bless my Underpants
And when I get the chance
In them I dance
And when I take this stance
My package is enhanced
I saw you take a glance
God bless my underpants

A vote for Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator is a vote for freedom.

A vote for Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator is a vote for progress.
I'm Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator and I approve of this message.

“I’m not so sure this sends the message that we want to send,” Professor Xavier looked at me skeptically.

“Are you kidding?” I replied. “We’re going after the underpants vote and I’m going to get them.”

“I just think that it may be a little too personal,” he said. “Asking a candidate if he likes boxers or briefs is one thing but this seems to go a little too far.”

“I know I know,” I held up my hands. “It’s a little risqué, but it’s not like I’m up on a stage shooting bottle rockets out of my butt or something.”

The Professor looked at me.

“Have you shot bottle rockets out of your butt?” he asked after a long pause.

“I’d rather not answer that,” I replied.

“Still, I understand that at this point we need to reach out to different groups and I realize that we’re at a critical juncture in our campaign, but I don’t know. I just don’t think this ad is what we’re looking for right now.”

“Well I like it,” Emma Frost poked her head into the room.

“You would,” Xavier sighed.


X-23 said...

um I'm speecless.

X-23 said...

i meant speechless.

Danny Bailey said...

wow...what can I say but....

it wasn't me I didnt try to kill you

mwb said...

It is Jon's underpants that unites the country in our greatest trials.

Jean-Luc Picard said...

We certainly don't want anyone going commando.

Henchman432 said...


Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

X23 - then it's working right?

Dan - OK, thanks for not shooting me, I appreciate that.

MWB - thank you, my Wall Street rescue plan does involve. underpants.

Captain P - with very few exceptions, you are correct sir.

Henchy - you kidding? Those pepperonis are real, baby.

Germaine Gregarious said...

Hey! I'm the underpants candidate! Get your own platform. **fume**