Thursday, September 04, 2008

NIght of the Living Hipsters, Part IX

Jim Daniels was sprawled on the floor of the Happy Valley Mall with his hands on the control panel to the escalator. The undead hipster formerly known as Officer Reed loomed over him. I was 30 feet away with my hands on the extension cord, itching to plug in our impromptu trap.

Tense moments ticked by as the creature awkwardly stared down at Daniels.

Daniels stared back up at the creature.

The thing jerkily reached towards the former running back.

A bead of sweat reflected off Jim’s dark forehead.

Tense moments ticked by.

“Now!” Jim yelled and he rolled away from the metal staircase. I quickly complied and plugged in the cord. Sparks crackled and popped from the metal stairs as the creatures on them flailed about. Acrid smoke and the smell of death filled the air.

“Wow,” Kyle mumbled in stunned amazement. “That was—”

“Disgusting,” Dr. Porter finished.

“Better them than me,” Daniels said as he limped back to the group.

“You going to be OK on that thing?” I asked him.

“I’m not going to win any 100 yard dashes, but I’ll make it,” he grunted back.

I dialed up Eve on my Wristcomm. “Meet us by the loading dock, we’re heading out the back door.”

“Uh, OK,” she replied and I disconnected the call.

We dashed to the door and threw it open. Unfortunately, we were now face to face with a throng of the undead hipsters. I shot the first one in the face as we turned and ran back where we came from with me firing back at them. At the end of the hall, another scenester zombie stepped in front of us and I flipped the pistol from my left hand to my right and shot it in the head as well.

We made our way back to the main floor. Smoking hipster corpses clogged the escalator but more drudged around the floor. Some were drinking coffee in an undead mockery of life. Others dully grabbed for cinnamon buns in a display case, only to be stopped by the glass. Those who saw us stumbled towards us.

“I think we’re trapped,” Kyle said dejectedly.

“Sucks to be us,” muttered Daniels.


Professor Xavier said...

There's only one thing you can do when faced with a decomposing hoard of hipster zombies - call Bruce Campbell and let him take care of them with that nifty chainsaw.

Jean-Luc Picard said...

I think they are appearing in all malls.

Kon-El said...

pretty much uyeah, Oh ans I'm borrowing your seperated at birth computer.

Nepharia said...

Prof, I'd much rather he take care of them with his *BOOM* stick. Latte anyone?