Tuesday, August 30, 2005

Bear Down, thusly, Chicago Bears

This past Friday, my wife (I'll call her Patricia) had a baby shower for her sister (who could not show up due to work, but don't let that stop a shower) and gave me the instructions to "Get Kiera and get lost." OK, it wasn't quite that, but that was pretty much the gist of it.
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After doing all her chores, Kiera deserves a night out...
So I was driving home, er flying home, from work trying to figure out what to do with the little girl for several hours so I decided to give my friend Jim a call to see if anything was going on.

"I'm not doing anything tonight," says Jim. "But I know that Jim has Chicago Bears NFL American Football tickets." Jim referring to our mutual friend who was also named Jim. Jim usually doesn't speak about himself in third person. Jim also didn't say "Chicago Bears NFL American Football," I felt obligated to explain what Bears that I am talking about.

I thought taking Kiera to a Bears game would be fun, but I wasn't so sure that I wanted to spend three hours with her crawling all over me in a sports stadium, so I called Uncle Paul. "Uncle Paul, what are you doing?" I asked.

"Just packing," He replied. He was going back to school in Pennsylvania in a day.

"Would you like to see the Bears game tonight?"


So I picked up Kiera, met up with Uncle Paul and we made our way to Soldier Field, home of your NFL American Football Chicago Bears. I do like Soldier Field because it kind of looks like a flying saucer crashed into a coliseum.

The opponents of the Bears were the Buffalo Bills.

In the wild, grizzly bears routinely eat buffaloes for breakfast, brunch, lunch, dinner, and midnight snack, but on the frozen tundra of the National Football League's football competition, Buffalo often fields a superior American Football team.

Kiera spent much of the time crawling over me, wanting popcorn and generally acting squirrely on my lap. She did like watching the comic capering of Staley the Bear, though, and who doesn't like the dancing antics of a dancing mascot?

She also really liked the fireworks, which were fired off when the Bears scored a touchdown.

As the game progressed, Kiera started playing with the empty seat around us, but as it became late in the third quarter, the Bears were behind 2 points and were within the redzone, Uncle Paul and I grabbed her attention and told her that the fireworks would go off soon.

With the game on the line, the Bears pushed to the 5 yard line, then the 3. Paul asked if they would shoot the fireworks for a game winning field goal.

"They must," was my reply. "You can't return the fireworks at the store." Then I feigned looking for the receipt in my pockets.

Then with a 3 yard plunge, the Bears seal the victory and the fireworks are fired.

It was exciting, then we went home.

Wait, let me give it an interesting ending. Twelve Dark Ninjas rapelled from out of a hovering V22 Osprey and I had to fight them off to secure the National Treasure written on the back of the Declaration of independence. Yeah, that's the ticket.


flu said...

Glad the Treasure's safe from Da Bears! Good thing GoJo the sock monkey wasn't there to botch things up.

Jo Jo The Monkeyboy's Ghost said...

Hey! GoJo is my cousin, Starbugger!

Master Yoda said...

Seen this movie I have.

Better security around your Declaration of Independence document, your government should have.

Also, commend your Founding Fathers I must for not wasting paper. Good to use both sides of a sheet of paper it is.