Saturday, August 20, 2005

I Hate Sidekicks, Part Five

Announcer: Ladies and Gentlemen, allow me to first introduce, From Atomic Planet M, the Most Dangerous Man in the Universe, The New Killer Bomb!
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(Crowd Boos as he enters the arena)

Announcer: And his opponent, from a little planet called "Earth." Jon!

(Crowd cheers)

Announcer: And Jon's Comedy Relief Sidekick, Jo Jo The Monkey Boy!

(Dead Silence)

Jo Jo: Howdee howdee howdee! Howya doin' boss?

Jon: Sigh.

The two combatants square up against each other while Jo Jo hops around them making "comedy relief"-type comments. New Killer puffs up as he inhales deeply and roars out flaming nuclear breath at Jon. Jon dives out of the way of the oncoming heat blast in the nick of time and launches a drop kick at New Killer. Jon's assaults seem to have little effect, but he continues with a flurry of punches and kicks.

Jo Jo: Hey ugly! I'm gonna splat you but good!

Jo Jo then launches himself at the behemoth, who grabs the little creature and throws him across the arena, crashing into a stack of Vibro-shields. New Killer follows up with a blast of nuclear powered breath. The crowd "Oh's" at the smoldering pile.

Jon gets behind New Killer and gets a choke hold on the monster. After several minutes, the creature is subdued. As the crowd roars, Jon rushes over to the pile of shields and starts tossing the shields aside. He uncovers a smoking Jo Jo.

Silence.

Jo Jo slowly opens his eyes and looks up at Jon.

Jo Jo: Howya doin' boss?

7 comments:

Captain Typho said...

Whew! You almost lost your best friend!

Aayla Secura said...

I thought he was a goner!

...Next time I'd better put more cyanide in that tea..

JawaJuice said...

They're like roaches. Ya just can't kill em!!!

Leia said...

Why don't you just kinda light him on fire while he's smoking?

flu said...

Jon, your freaky monkey-boy is ruining my magic act. Rein that sucker in or I'm gonna put rubber bands around his ankles so he walks funny.

I'da jumnped up and down on the pile of shields.

Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

Doesn't he already walk funny?

flu said...

well... yeah, I guess, but not as funny as if he had rubber bands around his ankles.