Tuesday, November 21, 2006

Shout at the Devil

“You sold you soul to see Vampirella in her underwear?” I repeated.

“Yes, yes I did,” Hudson sobbed. “If I knew he was the Devil I wouldn’t’ve done it!”

“So did you see her in her underwear, then?” I asked.

“Well kinda…”

“What do you mean kinda,” I prodded.

“Well, after I signed it, we went on a mission together to kill bugs.” Hudson then shuddered. “Man, I hate bugs.”

“And at any point in this mission, did you see Vampirella in any undergarment?” I asked.

“Not really,” he replied quietly. “Just her regular outfit.”

“No underpants, bra, panties, lingerie, thongs, or boxers?” I pushed.

“No, just her regular outfit,” Hudson sighed exhaustedly.

“If it pleases the court,” Lucifer stepped up. “I would like to submit as evidence Exhibit A, B, C, and D.”

Death motioned for the Lord of Darkness to approach. He did and presented four photographs of Vampirella in various poses.

“Clearly, your honor, what this… woman considers clothing would be considered undergarments by any other normal person,” the Antichrist chortled. “I ensured that he would see plenty of her on that mission, fulfilling the terms of the contract. That makes Hudson’s soul my property.”

“You tricked him into signing that, but you didn’t even fulfill it properly,” I accused him angrily.

“Of course I didn’t fulfill it how Hudson wanted it,” he replied. “I am the Devil.”

“Order, order please!” Death banged her gavel. “Defense, do you have any more questions for Hudson?”

“None, your honor,” I replied.

“Lucifer, do you have a redirect?”

“Yes I do, your honor,” he replied. “Hudson, after you signed this contract you did, indeed, get to spend some quality time with Vampirella, right?”

“Well, yeah,” the marine replied. “I mean, except for that other guy.”

“And you got see her up close,” the demon sneered. “Real close, right?”

“Yes, I saw her up close.”

“And did you… like it?” the King of the Underworld asked.

“Sure, I guess,” the private replied. “She’s hot.”

“And you liked her choice of attire?”


“And do you like these photographs here?” Satan prodded.

“Sure do,” Hudson replied. “‘Specially that second one. And the third one.”

“Hudson!” I shouted out in frustration.

“Order!” Death commanded. “I will not tolerate outbursts like that.”

“No further questions. Hoooahhhhh!”

The judge looked at me. “Do you have any witnesses?”

“Yes, your honor,” I answered. “The defense calls Vampirella.”


Padawan Erifia said...

I don't understand why Hudson would sell his soul for those pictures. The concept is lost on me.

Anonymous said...

You know Hudson if you get out of hell you are so going back because either HS or Miari is going to kill you

Janus said...

It sounds like you need a good Lawyer.

I charge $3,000 dollars an hour. And if I don't win your case, then I will kill the person who did.

Sounds like a Deal, right?

Private Hudson said...

HS? Is that high school? I'm not scared of high school, I ruled the school.

And I'm not scared of Mairii, either. He can't even sync up his lips with what he saying. What;s up with that?

I mean, save me Jon, you're my only hope!

Jean-Luc Picard said...

Come on, Vampi! Only you can help now!

Mirai Trunks said...

It's called telepathy Hudson, Damn I;ve gotten so used to speaking Japenese to Goku, and Gohan It's become habit, and my telapthy translates it for you.

I need to start speaking English again.

Local Henchmen 432 said...

Jon, use the wookie defense.

Professor Xavier said...

And the court room collectively gasps at the surprise witness. And the bursts out in spontaneous applause.

Elixir said...

Hey, if you need a character witness my curfew isn't until 10pm.

Dark Jedi Kriss said...

"we went on a mission together to kill bugs.”

I hate bugs, kill'um all!

Deadpool said...

I could kill the Devil for you and get your buddy Hudson out of this fix. $200 plus a pizza and I'll kill. Money back gurantee.

Plus really I mean what kind of deal is that? Vampi barely wears anything. He should've gone for Jenna Jameson.

A Army Of (Cl)One said...

OK, you defence was working very well until you showd those pictures of Vampi. Then everything got a little fuzzy and the devil said "something, something, something" more picture of Vampi, then the Judge said "Blah, Blah" then I was looking for more pictures of Vampi.

So what is the deal, where can I get pictures of Vampi?