Sunday, May 20, 2007

An Important Message From Jon

On Throneworld, in the throne room of the Queen of the Galaxy, an unusual cast of characters gather. The group includes Private Hudson, Jan the Intergalactic Gladiator, Major Rocksun, Royal Technician Lombarr, and Queen Galacta IX herself, of course.

I took a deep breath and stepped through the doors and into the room. My heals made a distinct and echoing clacking sound as I strode across the regal floor towards the Queen’s ornate seat.

I gave a quick bow “Your majesty.”

“Welcome once again, Gladiator,” the Queen acknowledged. “To what do we owe this honor?”

“Queen Galacta,” I paused and turned to the others. “Major Rockson, Private Hudson, Jan, Lombarr and everybody else here, this is a special day. A very special day.”

“What is it?” asked Jan.

“What could it be?” asked Rocksun.

“Is it V-Day?” asked Hudson. “Or D-Day? Or VD-Day?”

“VD-Day?” grimaced Jan. “Ew.”

“Nope,” I grinned. “It’s my second Blogoversary!”

“Wow,” Jan said. “Congratulations.”

“Thank you, thank you,” I said. “Lombarr, would you be so kind as to throw up last year’s Blogoversary post on the telemonitor?”

“Certainly.” Lombarr threw a switch and the post showed up on the viewer.

Along the way, we found Hudson.

"Tractor beam off?" I asked Hudson.

"Sure is," he replied. "I took out some troops along the way, too."


"Yup," he nodded. "Totally quiet and sneaky-like. I am like Snake Eyes, a stone cold totally quiet killer. They never saw me coming."

"So you're silent but violent?" I asked.

"You got it," he grinned, full of pride.

I stopped.

"Wait a minute, what's today's date?"

"You mean on Earth, or the Queen's Galactic Calendar?" asked Jan.

"On Earth," I replied. I dialed up the calendar on my Wristcomm. "Hey, it's May 19th!"

"So?" shrugged Hudson.

"Tomorrow is my one year blogoversary!" I answered, allowing for more excitement than my current situation should allow.

"Oh, well, happy blogoversary," said Hudson.

"Yes, happy blogoversary," smiled Jan. Then she looked down. "I don't have a blog."

"Maybe some day you will," I answered. "Hey, why don't we take a look at my first post."

Jan and Hudson nodded in agreement and I called up my blog on my Wristcomm, then went to the first entry:

I fought Lord EyeBorg today (I believe "Lord" is an honorarium, he does not actually lord over anything). Though he is easily 30 years my senior and no match for my strength, his cybertetic claw and optic laser blast make him a tough opponent to be sure. After battling back and forth for over an hour, I finally got a solid punch in. The force of my strike sent him sprawling and he was stunned long enough for me to pluck his laser-firing eyepiece from it's socket.

Holding the weapon aloft, I yelled to the crowd "The 'eyes' have it!" The audience was beside itself, roaring and cheering my victory.

Victory, thy taste is sweet.

"That was... nice," Jan said.

"I liked that action hero line," Hudson smiled. "The eyes have it! The eyes have it! The eyes have it!"

"Yeah, well, sometimes I need work on those lines." I looked out past the fourth wall. "I want to thank everyone who's visited me here for the past year. You know who you are, go on stand up and give yourselves a big hand. Great. Now, just the ladies. Now just the men. Now just the men pretending to be ladies. Ha, I got you! Now you two in the back! Go on, stand up and clap."

Thank you.

“That was splendid” said the Queen.

“Thank you,” I said. “And thanks to all my Junior Intergalactic Gladiators out there. You’re the reason I’m doing this. Give yourselves a round of applause and keep watching the skies!”


Dark Jedi Kriss said...

Happy Blogoversary! Man thata big word. LOL!

Robin said...

Hope you have a brilliant Blogoversary, at first I thought the post was about your wife giving birth. I couldn't help but think "has it been 9 months?".
You should celebrate with ice cream! or frozen yoghurt as those damn pansies call it.

Blockade Boy said...

Blockade Brigand wishes ye a joyous blogoversary! Toss back a flagon o' grog for me, boyo! *click* Sorry, got the robo-larynx stuck on "pirate mode" again. And thanks for letting me know about the comments problem on my blog. I got it fixed now. You're a pal! *click* Avast, ye! *click* Dang it.

Jean-Luc Picard said...

Happy Blogaversary, Jon! Two years have flashed by already!

Phobia said...

Happy Blogaversery Jon!.. Intrestingly enough mine is comming up sometime next month as well not to mention my 100th post.. I'll have to look to see if they will hit the same time.. hmm

*passes over bottle of champagne*

Kon-El said...

congrats Jon!

Lt. Cmdr Oneida said...

Congrats Mr. Gladiator! 2 years of good work that we all enjoy, despite Hudson

cooltopten said...

Happy Blogaversary, Jon! keep up the great work :)

Skywalker said...


Darth Nepharia said...

(faint reception from holocron):

Wow, dude! That's awesome! Here's to another year of some great posts....


Kristi said...

Grats Jon! :)

Professor Xavier said...

"The eyes have it." That could be your new catch phrase. I see that running at the end of the TV commercial. Jon turns slowly to the camera, implies a wink, and then says with great machismo -"The eyes have it."

Happy Blogoversary!

Darth Inferna said...

Congratulations, even Evil people recongize the value of a Blogoversery.

Darth Inferna said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Henchman432 said...

Happy Blogoversary Jon, ou are one of the best.

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