Friday, May 11, 2007

LGS2 is out of sight!

Things are chugging along on the set of Last Gladiator Standing II and that’s pretty cool. It appears that we have what we call in the entertainment biz a “hit.” We have a nice mix of known contestants as well as a few exciting new faces and they’re all eager to win! Wow, I better be careful or I might sound like one of them marketing guys like Sinew Nu.

There’s something unusual going on, though. Something I can’t quite put my finger on. Professor Xavier and I have worked together or teamed up several times in the past and we’ve always had a good working relationship. This time around, however, his powerful mutant telepathic mind seems to preoccupied with something. I don’t know what it is, but he’s been rather short with me. He’s not unfriendly or anything, but again, it’s something that I can’t quite put my finger on. Hopefully it will all work out.

My thoughts were interrupted by a familiar voice yelling at me.

“You! I’ll have words with you now, Earthman!”

Yeah, it was Lord EyeBorg alright.

EyeBorg is a competitor in the Intergalactic Gladiator Entertainment (formerly the Intergalactic Gladiator Federation until they lost that lawsuit with that other IGF). I’m not sure where he’s from but I’m pretty sure that he just gave himself the title “lord” in order to sound cool.

Now I don’t want to break bad on the guy, he is a competitor in the IGE and all, but his win-loss record isn’t too good. Not for him, at least, it’s pretty good for the people he’s going against. He also has to have a bit of a chip on his shoulder about me. You know because I’m “just an Earthman” and he’s an “advanced species” and “stronger and smarter” and all that. Plus I “plucked out” his “cybernetic eye” a couple times.

Still, I don’t go around picking fights with him, I’m not that kind of a guy. Plus, he may actually beat me one day. You know that cliché about “Any given Sunday.”

“Eyeborg,” I smile pleasantly at him. “How’s my favorite—say what race are you anyway?”

“That is none of your concern,” he growled. “What you should be concerned about is how I am not a competitor on your show.”

“Well sure, but the roster’s already filled and the competition has begun,” I reply. “It wouldn’t be fair to just add you.”

“Bah!” (I can’t believe that he said “Bah!”) You would be lucky to have a competitor like me in it. You know that I am the champion of 12 systems.”

“Really?” I ask. “Which ones?”

“It doesn’t matter what systems,” he growled. “What matters is that you have a roster full people from another galaxy, more of your pitiful species, and that bizzaro robot clown!”

“Robot clown hybrid,” I corrected.

“Argh! I do not care!” he howled. Then he grabbed my shirt and leaned in close to me. “You are a fool but the least foolish action you could take today is to add me to your stupid game show!”

“Dude,” I grabbed his arm that was clutching me. “Let go, man. Let’s not do it this way.”

“Then I will destroy you,” he hissed.

EyeBorg took a swing at me with his free arm. I ducked it and his momentum spun him around in front of me. From behind, I grabbed him around his neck and placed him in a chokehold. Within a couple minutes, he was sputtering on the ground.

Eye don’t want any more trouble out of you, see?” I leaned down towards my stunned opponent and pulled on his cybernetic ocular device. With a snap and a crackle, it popped out of its socket. “Watch out because eye have lost my patience with you. Get it?”

EyeBorg moaned and looked up at me helplessly and humorlessly with his good eye.

Yeah, I know once again I need to work on my lines. I have to use what I they give me though, right?


Jean-Luc Picard said...

Lord EyeBorg doesn't sound the sociable sort. Maybe you could take him for a drink and chat later on?

Darth Vader said...

Lord EyeBorg...

Dark Jedi Kriss said...

He needs a girl. lol

Skywalker said...

You need to ping. This wasn't showing as new, man.

I think he needs more than a drink.

SQT said...

He's a little slow isn't he?

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