Murder on the Orion Express, the next chapter

"I've almost got the door open." Jan the Intergalactic Aviator was huddled over the control panel to the door leading to the cockpit. The sonic screwdriver was whirring, manipulating the panel until at last the entryway slid open.

I moved my way towards her and the door. She had already stepped into the cockpit and I was right behind her. Her jaw dropped as she looked at the two empty chairs staring out into the rippling waves of hyperspace.

"Where are they?" she asked.

I looked around, then behind me. "There."

Jan looked and her jaw dropped at the horror. The jump into hyperspace had pushed the pilot and copilot back, phasing them into the back wall of the ship's control room.

"unbelievable," she gasped.

"What could cause this?" I asked.

"In all my years...." her voice trailed off. "Things like this don't just happen. There are too many safeguards."

"But what could cause this?" I asked again.

Jan's brow furrowed. "Let me think. There are Hyperspace Probes, basically a small pod of sensors strapped to a faster than light engine. They're used to track traffic in hyperspace routes, pinpoint disasters, military recon. Stuff like that."

"So one was near us when we made the jump?"

"No," she answered, sitting down at a station and looking at the terminal. "It would've had to have been activated onboard at the same time as our leap. The Orion Express' larger engines would have made short work of the probe, but before that happened, we'd get something like we just got."

"I see. But we were all affected by the anomaly."

"That's the thing," she said. "I don't know. Maybe a power suit or something. Nobody in the passenger's cabin was wearing anything like that, though."

"You're right. Do me a favor," I said. "Can you punch me up the passenger manifest? I'm going to have to interview all of those people. Starting with the suit."

"Sure," she answered. I walked out towards the businessman. He stopped taking pictures of the body and looked up at me.

"This is so disgusting," he sneered. "I can't believe you've got me doing this."

"You can stop," I said. "I need you to answer a few questions, though. First, what are you going to Orion for?"

"A deal," he answered. "One that is worth billions when I land it. What? Do you think I offed that chump?"

"I'm interviewing everyone onboard," I said. "Someone here did it."

"Tell me, why would I kill some jerk on a ship while on my way to make the biggest deal of my life? He's smalltime. Not worth it."

"You do have a point," I conceded. "I need just two more things from you; first, if you see anything unusual, tell me right away."

"Oh, you mean like the space gypsies, or the artist's valet, or that passenger that appears to be a giant pile of rags? Sure, I'll tell you right away," he said sarcastically. "What's the second?"

"Go into the cockpit and take pictures of the crew."

All Aboard the Orion Express

"Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. We are now pulling away from Hacknor's gravity well and we will soon make our leap to hyperspace. Travel time will be about two hours and fifteen minutes. Please relax and enjoy your flight on the Orion Express."

I looked around the cabin and saw a man in a suit talking away on his space phone. I tell you, some people just can't put those things down. The space gypsies were huddled together talking amongst themselves and Lucky Pierre was talking loudly to anyone who would listen.

"I am ze famous Lucky Pierre," he announced. "I have made glorious works for all of ze galaxy to enjoy! You will love my next piece when I unveil it at Orion!"

"Wonderful," sniffed Jan the Intergalactic Aviator. "Is he going to talk like that for the whole flight?"

"Maybe we'll get lucky and he'll pass out when we leap," I answered with a smile.

"You! You are an Earthman, aren't you?" Lucky Pierre looked me up and down.

"Yep," I replied. "I'm from Earth."

"Bah, zere is no good art from Earth!" he declared.

"I beg to differ," I said back to him. "Michelangelo, Munsch, Warhol. The list goes on and on."

"Garbage, garbage, garbage!" Pierre yelled. "You monkeys should be grateful that you even have thumbs!"

"Are you trying to be obnoxious?" I retorted. "Or does it just ooze out of you?"

"Ha! The lame reply of an unevolved simpleton," he dismissed me with a wave and walked away to insufferably chat up someone else.

"Don't let him get to you," Jan told me. "He's just trying to prove that he's an eccentric artiste."

"Oh, I'm fine. Let's see him save a planet with a sonic screwdriver, some coax cable, and his wits."

Jan chuckled and leaned back to prepare for the hyperjump.

With an electronic whine, the jump engines engaged. For just a moment, even though I felt like my back was leaning against the seat, my stomach was in the far wall, my teeth were in the wall in front of me, and my ankles were somewhere back on Hacknor.

Reality turned red, then snapped back into place and I looked around. Everyone was gasping and looking around surprised themselves. I looked at Jan and she said "That was not supposed to happen."

"Tell me about it," I said back to her. We both got up and looked up and down the aisles, everyone looked agitated but OK.

"The cockpit," Jan looked at me. "We have to check out the crew."

We made our way to the front when I stopped and looked at the artist on the deck. He had a quarter-sized hole in his chest and he wasn't moving. Jan saw him, too.

"He's not breathing!" Jan said with her ear against his chest. "He's dead."

"Looks like Lucky Pierre isn't so lucky," I said grimly.

Ride to Orion

Check out this nice image, courtesy Vampirella.

I'm taking a trip to Orion and I am traveling in one of those super fast express ships that travel between Hacknor and Orion. They're pretty nice; they are also lean and built for speed. It will be kind of fun, maybe relaxing, to take this little side trip here.

I look around the cabin and I see some of the other passengers on board, there is a guy in a suit, some creature, I think, huddled in the corner under heavy cloak or gear or something, and there also seems to be a small band of vagabonds.

I look at the seat across from me and I see someone who appears to be a pilot. She looks at me and appears to recognize me.

"Do I know you?" she asks.

"I'm Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator," I answer, leaning forward to shake her hand.

"This is so weird," she replies. "I'm Jan the Intergalactic Aviator. That's funny how our names are so close."

"Wait a minute," I looked at her. "Did you get a visit from a ghostly Monkeyboy a few months ago?"

"Yes I did!" she exclaimed.

"That was my former sidekick!" I exclaimed back. "In fact, he stopped to talk to me first, then he saw that it wasn't my name on the list and he took off to see you."

"Wow," her head shook back and forth as she tried to take it all in. "Jon... Jan... That's so odd."

"Well, I hope you learned Christmas spirit from him," I grinned.

"Ha ha," she laughed. "Yeah, except I already had it. I can't believe that--"

"Stand aside! Stand aside!" A man walked past, very loudly announcing his presence. "I am Lucky Pierre, the famous artiste, and therefore very eccentric. Stay out of my way for I am coming through."

Jan shook her head. "Hmmph. What a weirdo."

I laughed in agreement. At least it looks like I'll have one normal person to talk to on my trip. I am sure that the ride on the Orion Express will be totally uneventful otherwise.

Murder on the Orion Express, the chapter after the previous

Two suspects left. This passenger who looks like a pile of rags and hasn't moved since I have been on board the ship and Jan. I doubted that Jan was guilty, but I have tasked myself with finding who that killer is and therefore I must question Jan as well. Call it duty or whatever, but it must be done. Oh yes, and time is running out.

Jan is still in the cockpit and is researching the passengers and so I made my way to the creature. "Mind if I ask you a few questions?"

The rags shifted and moved. A head appeared, then shoulders, arms, and hands took shape.

"What do you want, Earthman?" it asked.

"As you must know," I stated. "Lucky Pierre was murdered when this ship jumped to hyperspace. I am currently investigating everyone on board to find who perpetrated this crime. It's your turn. It says here that you are Gollux?"

"Gollux of Gollus," it answered. "And why would I kill that artiste? I am merely traveling to Orion and wish to be left alone, Earthman."

"Of course," I acknowledged. "Though you must understand why I am doing this."

"Yes," it replied. "Such a tragedy. I suppose that because I was onboard that I am now a suspect."

"Well, everyone's a suspect," I replied flatly.

"Even you?" it asked.

"Well, I know that I didn't do it," I replied.

"Neither did Gollux of Gollus."

I got all the information from him that I needed at the time. I made my way back towards the cockpit, weaving around the Von Ryans, Jeeves, and Donald Chump. Now I'm going to have to talk to Jan.

"This is interesting," Jan said as I walked into the cockpit. "Look at this."

I read the screen that she had pulled up. Apparently, the unlucky Lucky Pierre found a long lost brother about six months ago after years of searching. Evidently, his masterpiece on Orion involved their reunion. Also according to this article, Pierre was heavily in debt and he was hoping to cash in big with his master work.

I tabbed to the next screen. Donald Chump (real name Frondal Niptu) was actually going to Orion to shepherd the merge of Astro Telecomm & Telephonics with Orionbell. The deal to combine these two commuations giants is indeed worth billions.

The Von Ryans are also listed on the Orion by Orionwest website. They are one of hundreds of musical acts heading there to perform.

Gollux of Gollus was a bit of a mystery himself. His race, though very intelligent and space-faring, generally sticks to themselves. Golluns are not a violent race, but they are fairly xenophobic, so not a lot is actually known about them.

"This helps a lot, thanks," I said to Jan. "So tell me, why are you heading to Orion?"

"My ship, the Pegasus Elite, is getting some work done," she answered. "I'm having some of the systems upgraded-- hey! Why are you asking me this?"

"I'm just asking," I answered. "You know I have to. Have you ever had any contact with Pierre before?"

"I have seen his work in shows before," she replied. "But I've never met him before in my life. So are you going to question yourself next?"

"I know that I didn't do it."

"And I know that I didn't," her pouty lips cracked into a smile.

"Well, I guess that leaves just them," I chuckled and waved out to the passenger's cabin. "How much longer until we exit hyperspace?"

"Forty minutes," she said after looking at the instruments.

"I'm a lot closer to finding the killer," I said grimly. "But it's going to be close."

Murder on the Orion Express, the next wave

Armed with a notepad and the passenger's manifest I was grilling the next suspect, Pierre's valet.

"Name?" I asked.

"Jeeves Jarvis Pennyworth," he answered drolly.

"And your relationship to the deceased?"

Jeeves rolled his eyes ever so slightly. "I was his valet, his butler, his road manager and his confidant."

"That's a lot of hats," I commented. "And Pierre treated you well for these services?"

"Hardly," he sighed. "He treated me poorly, he yelled at me, he often berated me."

"Why did you stay with him?"

"It is my duty to serve," he answered. "For generations, the Pennyworths have served Pierre's family. That is what we do. That and the money, he payed very well up until recently."

"And you never entertained thoughts of killing him?"

"And dishonor my family? Never."

"OK," I replied. "One last thing. Do you know what his great masterpiece on Orion was?"

"I don't know," Jeeves looked down. "He just said that it was going to be his greatest masterpiece and it would be performance art, but that's not his usual medium. I have no idea what he wanted to, ungh, my ears!"

Jeeves clasped his ears and doubled over.

"Oh, I'm sorry," I apologized. "My sonic disrupter seems to have been damaged when we jumped."

I started punching the buttons on my Wristcomm and managed to turn off the stunner. I had all the information from Jeeves that I could use, next is the vagabonds.

"Who are you guys?" I asked.

"We're the Singing Von Ryan Family!" the patriarch said gleefully. The rest of the family smiled and shook their fingers.

"Hmmmmmmmm," they hummed harmoniously.

"And did you see that there is a dead man up there?" I asked.

"We sure did!" smiled the mother.

"Hmmmmmmmmm," the family hummed again.

"What are you going to Orion for?"

"The Orion by Orionwest Music Festival!" exclaimed an older son. "We're performing there!"

The other children followed up with "Yeah!" and "Boy I'll say!" and "That's right!"

"OK, kids!" said the dad with a smile plastered on his face. "Let's show him what we've got!"

And they sang:

There's a sad sort of clanging
From the clock in the hall
And the bells in the steeple too,
And up in the nurs'ry an absurd little bird
Is popping out to say "coocoo".

Regretfully they tell us,
But firmly they compel us
To say goodby to you.

So long, farewell, Auf wiedersehn, good night,
I hate to go and leave this pretty sight.
So long, farewell, Auf wiedersehn, adieu,
Adieu, adieu, to yieu and yieu and yieu.

So long, farewell, Au'voir, auf wiedersehn,
I'd like to stay and taste my first champagne
So long, farewell, Auf wiedersehn, goodbye,
I leave and heave a sigh and say goodbye,
Good bye

I'm glad to go,
I cannot tell a lie.
I flit, I float,
I fleetly flee, I fly.

The sun has gone to bed and so must I
So long, farewell, auf wiedersehn, goodbye,
Goodbye,
Goodbye,
Goodbye!

I couldn't stand it. I had to stun the whole family.

Murder on the Orion Express, Murder Most Foul

"OK everybody, gather around," I called out so the passengers.

Frondal Niptu, the Von Ryans, Jeeves, and Gollux all huddled close to each other. I stood in front of them with Jan the Intergalactic Aviator by my side.

"Do you know who the murderer is?" asked Frondal.

"Then do tell!" said the Von Ryan father. His children all leaned in closer.

"First, let me go over my findings," I said. "Starting with Frondal. Frondal Niptu is a businessman on his way to Orion for a very important deal that could make or break his career."

"That's right," he smiled smuggly. "I would never kill a man like that! I am too important."

"Also, this is Jeeves Jarvis Pennyworth," I indicated to the butler. "Up until the murder, he was Lucky Pierre's butler and road manager."

"Dreadful business, really," Jeeves sniffed.

"Pierre treated him poorly," I continued. "But poorly enough for murder? Unfortunately, there is a motive here."

"I would never!" Jeeves gasped with his hand on his chest.

"Moving along," I said. We have the singing Von Ryan family. The Von Ryan's hummed and shook their hands. "They are indeed scheduled to perform at the Orion by Orionwest Music Festival, though I can't see them entertaining many people."

"There are a lot of acts booked," a Von Ryan said gleefully. The others around him backed him up with "Yeahs!" and "You bets!"

"Also with us here today is Gollux of Gollus," I swept my hand to the alien. "Golluns are a race who, as a whole, generally keep to themselves. I couldn't see Gollux having any motive to do something like this."

"That's right, Earthman," Gollux said. "Thank you."

"And there is, of course, Jan and myself," I said. "Jan has been kind enough to help me in the cockpit as well as research the passenger's manifest. Very interesting how you found that information, isn't it?"

"It was all on the InterN.E.T," Jan replied cooly.

"Right," I said. "I do however know that there is a person here who had both motive and opportunity."

Everyone looked at me, eagerly anticipating my declaration.

"Ladies and gentlemen, the murderer is---"

Who is the murderer?
	Frondal Niptu
	Jeeves Jarvis Pennyworth
	the singing Von Ryan family
	Gollux of Gollus
	Jan the Intergalactic Aviator
	Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator
Free polls from Pollhost.com

Jan: A call from Jon

Guest Poster: Jan the Intergalactic Aviator

Being an Intergalactic Aviator has its advantages – namely I’m my own boss. I fly where I want and when I want and fly cargo that I want to fly. If I don’t like or trust somebody, then I don’t have to work with him. The freedom’s cool and the travel is great.

Being an Intergalactic Aviator has its disadvantages, though. The biggest disadvantage is that I have to find my own work. A gal like me has a good enough rep that I usually don’t have a problem finding a job but there are times when it seems like there’s nothing out there.

Lately it seems like that’s the case. Things are drier than a bucket of Tatooine sand around here. Nobody’s flying anything anywhere. Times like these, those of us in the business wind up hanging around Orion Station waiting for something -- anything to happen.

People looking to hire a pilot know we’re here, the only thing is that when there’s a lot of pilots sitting around it turns into some kind of feeding frenzy around here. Like we’re the sharks and the client is our chum.

So I see one today and it looks like it’s a decent job. Lot’s of people need to get from one side of the galaxy to the other quickly and quietly. That’s pretty standard. Word on the station is that he’s looking for me.

I play it cool and hang out in the Lunch Pad so he can find me. OK, two things about the Lunch Pad, first everyone knows it’s a dumb name. We get it, it’s irony or something. Second, at the Lunch Pad, you’ll not find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy.

Ha ha, I’m kidding, it’s a decent place. There’s some undesirable characters here, but where can you go that doesn’t have that?

So I’m waiting for my new client to show up and I get a message from Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator to come meet him right away. It must be important, I don’t know why else he would send it.

Jon is a decent guy, he’s kind of cute, too, but don’t let him know I said that, I don’t want it to go to his head. Jon and I are both from Earth so I guess you can call us “homies” (though I wouldn’t). We first met on the Orion Express where he and I solved a murder onboard the flight. He also hired me once to help him out in another situation. Like I said, he’s a decent guy even though I think he’s a bit reckless. The universe is a dangerous enough place that one shouldn’t have to go around looking for trouble.

So if Jon’s in some kind of trouble and needs my help, I guess I should get going. It’s too bad that I’m going to miss a client though. All I can say is that this better be important. If it isn’t, I may have to kick him in the crotch.

Maybe I’ll kick him in the crotch anyway.

Murder on the Orion Express, the Final Finale

"Ladies and gentlemen, the murderer is..."

The Von Ryan family leaned forward with nervous anxiety, Frondal Niptu leaned forward with his ears perked, Jeeves Jarvis Pennyworth leaned forward with a sniff, Jan leaned forward, sucking in her breath, and Gollux of Gollus leaned forward with intent. The air itself crackled with the energy of anticipation.

"The murderer of Lucky Pierre is," I said cooly. "Lucky Pierre."

"What?" cried Frondal incredulously.

"Really, I daresay," scoffed Jeeves.

Jan's brow furrowed, the Von Ryans looked around at each other and shrugged, Gollux sniffed.

"Or should I say," I continued. "Lucky Pierre, dressed as Gollux of Gollus, killed his clone."

"What?" growled Gollus. "Impossible."

"Oh dreadful!" Jeeves clutched his chest.

"If you'll allow me to continue," I started to check off the goods on Pierre. "Lucky Pierre was currently in debt, as evidenced by Jeeves here."

"Indeed," stated Jeeves with an air of properness.

"Lucky Pierre also just mysteriously found his long-lost brother," I intoned. "And was amazingly on his way to reunite with him. Additionally, everyone knows that when an artist dies, the value of his work skyrockets. And who reaps the monetary benefits? The long-lost 'brother,' his only family, of course."

"Bah!" snorted Gollux. "Earthman, your senseless gibbering annoys us all!"

"On top of that," I added. "Not much is known about Golluns, so naturally it would be easy to pose as one and not many others would notice the facade. But why, I ask, would a xenophobe beg someone like me to save him if his life is in danger?"

"I've, er, seen your gladiator battles," stammered Gollux. "I just wanted to differ to your combat abilities."

"And," I held up my finger. "Lucky Pierre and Gollux were the only two passengers to call me 'Earthman.'"

"Coincidence?" Gollux said hopefully.

"Perhaps that could slide," I conceded. "But the final piece of evidence cannot. On our jump and during the event, I saw Jan and Frondal affected by the anomaly personally. Jeeves was affected by a similar, smaller scale, simulation from my sonic stunner. The Von Ryans were also overwhelmed by my sonic blast, but there was one who didn't seem to notice when I used the simulation on him -- Gollux."

"Hah," Gollux retorted. "Your sonic weapon does not affect my kind. Nice try, Earthman, but you are clearly wrong there."

"Not quite. It didn't affect you because you are wearing environmentally protective Bioarmor."

I reached to a pressure point on Gollux and activated a hidden release. The suit began to peel away, revealing the obnoxious artist within it.



"Now the fact that you killed a clone of yourself isn't that bad," I said with half a grin. "In fact, I'm sure the courts would be quite happy that you are responsible for keeping two of you from running around loose. The ship's crew phased into the wall, on the other hand, is an entirely different matter."

Pierre leapt up, brandishing a pistol from a hidden pocket. "very clever of you, you unevolved cretin. I'm afraid, however, that when this ship exits hyperspace, I'll just be on my way, then. You see, this pistol fires the same molecular acid-filled projectiles that the probe did. I am going to be the only person walking out of here alive, if neccesery."

"You're forgetting one thing, though, Pierre," I said.

"Oh, and what's that?" he sneered.

"You're not wearing the Bioarmor." With a sonic blast, Pierre crumpled to the ground. I shot him twice more just to be sure.

"Unbelievable," Jan shook her head in amazement.

"Rather," agreed Jeeves. "You sir, are a master detective, indeed."

"Yeah, you may be right," I said. "I'm kind of like Matt Houston, Sherlock Holmes, and Jaques Clouseau all rolled into one."

"Who, who, and who?" asked Jan.

"Forget it," I said as the ship decanted out of hyperspace, entering the Orion system.

Murder on the Orion Express

Jan the Intergalactic Aviator and I stood looking over the body of Lucky Pierre.

"Are we sure that it was murder?" she asked. "It could've been from when we made the hyperspace jump."

I looked closer at the hole in his chest. "This doesn't look like an accident. What kind of an accident would cause Pierre to be shot in the heart during a hyperspace jump?"

"You got any experience in finding murderers?" she asked.

"I'm no detective, but I am a fan of Herculoid P'oirot. I must've read five or six of those mysteries."

"And that makes you an expert?"

"No," I answered. "But we've got to do something."

I looked around at the rest of the passengers, the businessman was angrily looking at his space phone. I walked over to him.

"Your phone doesn't work?" I ask.

"No," he said in a huff. "Something happened when we jumped, I can't make calls now. Stupid space phone."

"Does that have a camera?"

"Of course," he said proudly. "I get all of the latest gadgets."

"Then I need you to take pictures of Pierre, here," I said, indicating to the body.

"Ew," he sneered. "Who put you in charge?"

"He did." I grabbed the man by the arm and hoisted him towards the body on the floor. "Take pictures."

Jan looked up at me with a frown. "What about the crew? We haven't heard anything from them."

"You're right," I answered. Then I turned to the cameraman. "Keep taking pictures, Donald Chump."

We rushed through the door that leads to the cockpit. There was a small entryway between the cabin and the door leading to the ship's controls. Jan pushed the call button on the control panel.

"Hello?" she asked. "Hello? Is there anybody in there?"

Silence.

"Hello? Can you hear me?" she said into the speaker again.

Again, there was no reply.

Jan took a small tool kit out of her cargo pocket; pulling out a sonic screwdriver, she started to work on the door.

"Do you always carry your tools everywhere you go?" I asked.

"It becomes a habit," she shrugged. "You never know when you need to fix... a problem. You always wear that hat everywhere you go?"

"Hey now," I held up a finger. Then I heard the businessman say "Ew" again.

Jan and I moved back to the cabin to take a look. The businessman had his nose crinkled up and was clutching his stomach. "Look!" he pointed to Pierre's body.

The hole in his chest had blackened. It was also beginning to open wider as if something were eating his skin. I leaned closer and even took a few cautionary sniffs.

"Molecular acid," I said. "It looks like our murderer put some on whatever killed him. It melted the evidence and half his chest."

"What do we do now?" Jan asked.

"We have less than two hours before we get to Orion," I replied cooly. "And one thing's for sure. Lucky Pierre is dead, murdered, and somebody's responsible."

Washington DC

I quickly flew to Washington in the Danger Sled to investigate Zartan’s clue. Problem is, I don’t know what I’m looking for and I hardly consider myself a detective. Sure I solved the Murder on the Orion Express a little while ago, but investigative work really isn’t my thing. On top of that, I’m still kicking myself for letting Zartan go. Who knows where he is now.

“Any luck, Jon?” Professor Xavier’s voice crackled on my Wristcomm. “Did you find what Zartan was talking about?”

“Negative, Professor,” I replied over the radio. “He said when it’s time for a change, where would I go. All I know is the key to it is time.”

“Perhaps there is a watch shop somewhere,” Xavier suggested. “It would be a good place to start.”

“I thought about that and even though there could be dozens of them in the city, I guess I have to start somewhere,” I answered. “Thing is, how do I know Zartan’s not throwing me off the trail with this clue?”

“He was being honest, or at least as honest as a fellow like he gets,” the telepath assured me. “The psionic blocker that he was wearing was damaged during your little round of fisticuffs in the alley.”

“Fine, so he’s telling the truth,” I answered. “Why even give me a cryptic clue in the first place?”

“If you find him again, perhaps you could ask him that very question,” Professor X replied over the radio.

“I’ll be sure to do that,” I said dryly. “Another thing I want to know is, why would Zartan try to take down my ship while he was in it? The damage on the Danger Sled was clearly from an attack.”

“The obvious answer is that he wasn’t involved with it,” Xavier responded. “If whomever hired him to kill you and take your place was the one who attacked your ship, I’m fairly certain that Zartan didn’t know about it.”

“Yeah,” I nodded. Yes I know that Xaiver couldn’t see my nod but I did it anyway. Don’t tell me you’ve never gestured while talking on the phone. “I think you’re right.”

“Back to the issue at hand,” he continued. “The clue about time, it would be wise of you to locate a phone book and look up watch and clock shops. It will take time but the quicker you move to eliminate all the—Jon are you listening to me?”

“Hold on, Professor. I think I see what Zartan was talking about.”

Jan the Intergalactic Aviator: Seven Things

Jon tagged me with this Seven Things Meme. I think you all know what’s up with it by now, so here we go. First the rules, then the seven things.
List seven random things about yourself that people may not know.

Link the person who sent this to you, and leave a comment on their blog so that their readers can visit yours.

Post the rules on your blog.

Tag 7 random people at the end of your post, linking their blog. Let each person know that they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.

1. I am originally from Earth. Yes my name really is Jan O’Mega. Whenever I meet someone from Earth somewhere off of Earth they always say something like “Small universe, isn’t it?” No it’s not, the universe is vast and nearly infinite. Comments like that make me want to punch them in the throat.

2. I used to bulls eye womp rats in a T-16 on Tatooine. I’ve scored more kills than you-know-who.

3. I flew for the Terran Confederacy for a while against the Kilrathi. I scored more kills than a certain wing commander.

4. I also flew a Mark II Viper for the Colonies. I scored more kills against the Cylons than a certain lieutenant. Boy did she bitch about that.

5. I beat the Kobayashi Maru. I told a certain someone how to beat it, too, and Starfleet made him a captain.

6. I first met Jon on the Orion Express but to be honest, I had been a fan of his for quite a while before that. Don’t tell him that though, I’d hate to see it go to his head.

7. I won the Pegasus Elite in a card game. I kept it by punching out the previous owner when he tried to take it back.

Murder on the Orion Express, the plot thickens

Thirty-five minutes. Armed with the information from Jan's search, I headed back towards the cabin.

"Look out!" I heard a scream. I looked up and saw another probe. The murderer must be mad, activating that thing in here. It flew straight for me and an armature slid out from either side of it.

"Oh oh," I thought out loud. That thing seems a little more heavily armed than your average Hyperspace Probe. I dove out of the way just as it fired some sort of dart at me.

The dart struck the wall occupying the space just behind my head. The molecular acid contained within the projectile darkened the wall where it stuck.

The probe switched tactics and started firing a wider angle stun blast at me. Again, I dove out of the way, but the beam grazed my foot. My foot started to tingle and I couldn't put weight on it.

"That thing just started flying around the cabin!" Frondal Niptu called out from behind a seat. "It's been swooping around all of us, get it out of here!"

"Help us, Earthman!" called Gollux of Gollus. "That thing will kill us all!"

The probe strafed past me again, I rolled under a chair to avoid its attack. Von Ryans dove left and right as it arced around past them. It was definitely gunning for me. Guess I'm just a little too close for my own good.

The probe swooped by me again, I scrunched up to avoid the energy attacks. A different noise filled my ears, it was a blaster of some sort. I looked up and saw smoke and sparks popping out of its left armature. Jan was against the door to the cockpit, a blaster in her hands.

I fired the cable launcher from my Wristcomm. The harpoon tip pierced the droid's shell and I spun it around by the cable, slamming it into the bulkhead. The droid started beeping in distress until Jan silenced it with several more blasts.

"I certainly don't want to get probed like that again," I said.

"Luckily I was able to open the weapons locker," Jan rested the butt of the rifle on her hip.

"And I've got all the information that I need. Let's go get that murderer."