An Ersatz Christmas Carol

Professor Xavier's Great Mutant Race 2 is over, you should check out who won. You may be surprised.

I will pick up my Evil Jon storyline Monday, but there's something really interesting that happened that I just have to tell you about...



I awoke with a start. Jo Jo the Monkeyboy's ghostly visage was standing over me.

"Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator," he howled. "Do not make the same mistake I did."

"What do you want with me?" I asked.

"Much," he answered.

My wife rolled over, peeked at the specter through her sleepy eyes. "Hey Jo Jo," she murmured.

"Hi." Jo Jo waved and my wife rolled over back to sleep. "Jon I have come to warn you. You do not have the Christmas Spirit!"

"What are you talking about?" I asked.

"You will be visited by three ghosts!" Jo Jo continued. "The ghosts of Christmases Past, Present and Future. They will show you --"

"Wait," I interrupted. "Why are they visiting me?"

"Without their visits, you will suffer a great fate, for you do not possess the true spirit of Christmas, the spirit of giving is unknown to you!"

"What do you mean I don't have the true spirit of giving?" I asked. "Did you see all those presents that were under our tree? Did you see how much stuff Kiera got? I even got my mother-in-law a present."

"Say what, bwauth?"

"And on top of it, it's now past Christmas!" I exclaimed. "Heck, it's almost a week after New Years!"

"Oh man," Jo Jo pulled out a long scroll and peered at it intently. "Oh gosh, bee-auth, I'm not even supposed to visit you." He showed the scroll to me.

I read the name at the top. "Jan the Intergalactic Aviator? Who's that?"

Jo Jo shrugged. "I dunno. Well, I guess I gotta go see her though, huh Johnny Bon Bon? Take care now, buddy bones! I'll see you later!" He looked at his scroll again. "Much later. Hoo hoo hoo ha ha ha hah hah hah hah hah!"

I thought that I'd never hear that awful raking laughter again. I still wish that I didn't.

"Oh wait, before I go!"

"Yes?"

"I'm gonna leave you a Christmas Present! Rudy the Red-Toed Reindeer! Hoo hoo ha ha ha ha ha hah hah hah hah hah!"

"Gee, thanks," I said as the apparition disappeared into the night.