Thursday, January 12, 2006

The Fleets Engage

The Queen's batlefleet exited hyperspace in the system hosting the Edifice of Evil. Galactor's frigates and gunships, standing guard near the planet, maneuvered to engage. I sat in the cockpit of the Danger Sled with Talis in the copilot's seat. Private Hudson sat in the navigator section behind the copilot. In the back, five of the Queen's best Royal commandos sat strapped into crash seats ready to spring into action when called upon. Our mission was a dangerous one and somehow, I got the feeling that we were going to lose some of them.

My ship was sitting poised in the launch bay of the Starship Z'heffershun, the plan was to ride the ship through the battle, using it's shields and firepower for protection. When the Z'heffershun breaks through Galactor's line of ships, we were to launch and fly down to the planet, get into the citadel and take care of business.

The capital ships quickly engaged with their heavy weapons as smaller fighters buzzed all around the battle. Meanwhile, we waited.

I turned to Hudson. "So you're an Agent of the Queen, right?"

"Uh huh," he nodded.

"And because of this, you act on her behalf?"

"That's right," he affirmed.

"And you're still a private?"

"Yeah, well, I guess the paperwork didn't come through yet," he started to get defensive. "It's a big galaxy, there's a lot of stuff going on."

"Now listen closely, Jon," interrupted Talis. "When we get to the vortex, I am carrying the magic totem that ties your evil duplicate to it, but you will need to say the magic words in order to banish him and close the portal."

"Magic words," I said. "Got it."

"You must be very careful and say these words exactly, or else who knows what could happen."

"Say 'em exactly," I replied.

"Now repeat after me, Klaatu barada nikto."

"Klaatu barada nikto," I parroted.


"Klaatu barada nikto," I said again.


"I got it, I got it. I know the words, OK?"

"Remember, you have to say these words exactly, or-- what are you doing?"

"I'm writing them down in my Blackberry."

"Does that have Bluetooth?" Hudson leaned over to take a look.

"Will you two stop?" Talis said exasperatedly. "Our mission is vital to the survival of the two universes. We don't have time to 'Yunk it up' or 'Get jingly with it.' A certain amount of decorum is needed when saving the Multiverse."

"Time to rock," I said as the signal pinged. With thrusters firing, the Danger Sled shot out of the launch tube aimed straight for the planet. The pilots of smaller fighters tried to swarm my ship, but we catapulted past them with such velocity that they couldn't keep up.

Towards the planet we rocketed, faster than any enemy weapon could track us. We approached the ground with such speed that we were all on the verge of blacking out when the ship's guidance systems made a quick turn, skimmed the wasteland just above the ground and slowed down to a more survival speed.

I dropped the landing gear and the Danger Sled slowed to a hover, then settled into the dry earth. After everyone breathed a sigh of relief and checked to see if we were all more or less intact, we grabbed our gear and exited the ship.

"There she is, boys," I said squinting up at the edifice. "Let's go."


Master Yoda said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Master Yoda said...

On your Blackberry you wrote those important words?

A good choice to write notes on, fruit is not. Rotten it could turn, or forget and accidently eat it, you could.

Wedge Antillies said...

Wow, that castle looks pretty cool. Do you think they have some cool stuff inside? When you talk to someone, ask if they plan to convert to condos.

And, before you guys go in, be sure to remind Hudson to WIPE HIS FEET!

Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

Condos would be cool here. Imagine the walkthroughs with potential buyers:

"Here's the granite counter tops... this used to be a torture room, but look, we made it into a spacious walk-in closet... here's where the portal to the evil universe was, we bricked it up and now it's this beautiful gas fireplace..."

Professor Xavier said...

I hope you remembered to bring your boomstick. You never know what primative screwheads you're going to meet.

Anonymous said...

blue tooth? yup eating blue berries can do that LOL

you sure you remember those words? hope you dont have an accent to go with the cowboy hat

Lt. Cmdr Oneida said...

'Klaatu barada nikto' ROFL!

I think you might need a boom stick. I guess Hudson's got one. And don't forget the last word, apparently it doesn't count if you mummble it into your hand.

Is the totem a book by any chance? If so, mind your fingers.

flu said...

Are you sure you were in a starship?...and not an airship?

I coulda sworn that is the name of an airship...

Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

I think it started out as an airship, then became a startship.

Anonymous said...

Were you carrin a totem ... or were you totin a carriem...?