Friday, January 27, 2006

Donating Blood

I haven't donated blood in a while, even though I try to do it a couple times a year. Donating blood is good because on top of saving a life, you get free cookies and juice, so it's win-win. In Chicago we have an organization called LifeSource that has offices throughout the city where you can just walk in, fill out some forms, and let them poke you. The nearest one is less than a mile from my house, so I went there to give some blood.

After filling out the forms, the technician called me over. She looked up and down the paperwork and said with a frown “I’m sorry, we can’t let you donate today.”

I was a little confused, they are always asking for blood. “Why not?” I asked.

“Well, according to what you filled out, you were in Turkey from 1990 to 91. Because of the Mad Cow scare, the FDA has regulations against people who’ve been in Turkey for over 6 months during the 90’s.”


“Also,” she pointed to the paper with her pen. “Under profession, you filled in ‘Intergalactic Gladiator’.”

“That is correct,” I answered. Here it comes, I thought. I figure that she’s going to ask me a whole bunch of stuff about this.

“Well have you bled or has any other being bled while in close proximity to you?”

I thought hard. “Well, just a little, I guess.”

“Hmmm. Yeah, that’s too dangerous of a profession, there are a lot of diseases that you’re subjected to. Hepatitis, Mad Monkeyboy disease, Orwellian Bloodworm…”

“I did not know that.”

“Speaking of Monkeyboy,” the tech continued. “You filled out here that you’ve been in recent contact with a Monkeyboy .”

That's right,” I conceded. “Though it’s been several months since he and I have been in the same room. He is no longer with us.”

“That’s too bad,” she shook her head. "The FDA also has a strict quarantine against Monkeyboys.”

“A quarantine? Wow. I guess I’ll have to wait until that's lifted, huh?”

“Well, there is one exception,” the technician said as she looked through her notes.”

“What’s that?”

“Any chance that you have T Negative blood?”

“Nope. O Positive.”

“That’s unfortunate,” answered the technician. “As you know, T Negative is pretty rare.”

“So I’ve heard….”

“Well,” she concluded. “Thanks for stopping by. Unfortunately, we cannot take your blood at this time. We’ll call you when the FDA changes the ruling.”

I guess that I'll just wait until then. In the meantime, I recommend that anyone who is able, to please give blood.


Private Hudson got tagged by Vampirella with Ben.Run's image game. Please go check it out with your bad selves.


Anonymous said...

go to Beggards inn... It is the blood bank I use...

They will take your blood but not for the blod bank for the food bank

(we vamps can tell if the blood is tainted before drinking it)


FDA regs are petty bad I hear in Germany thier version of FDA ia worse
you have to have a prescript for over the counter tylenol

Wedge Antillies said...

I am suprised you did try to schmooze with the nurse a little more. You know, show her your cool 'wristcomm' bracelet. On the other hand, I don't know anyone who would want Monkeyboy cooties.

Yes, I give blood on a regular basis. The Republic Navy is always having drives to keep the supply up.

Karnov said...

"FDA regs are petty bad I hear in Germany thier version of FDA ia worse
you have to have a prescript for over the counter tylenol"

And the amazing part is that Tylenol dosn't do jack shit.

Lt. Cmdr Oneida said...

There are many restrictions on giving blood now, including travel to parts of Africa, living in England for more than 6 months. If you've gotten a tatoo, you have to wait either 6 months or a year before you can donate again, I can't remember which time frame.

But the world of science apparently is making great advances in synthetic blood, so maybe some day there will be no need to donate

NandeHi said...

Donating blood is a good thing to do, very honorable sir Jon. :) I dont know if I would want synthetic blood. How bad could that be if they cant get it right with fake "boobies" how can they make blood safe. :)

Lt. Cmdr Oneida said...

My intern's dad is a truama doc, so what I know, I know from her, and she only knows basics.

It's amazing what they've come up with, but I think in the end, the ideal/gold standard will always be natural blood

Kristi said...

I gave for years, then they stopped letting me because I lived in France for a year in 89-90. *sigh* Idiots. Now they've decided I'm an ok risk again, probably because they lost so many people to their stupid regulations that had no scientific backing and had constant shortages. Can you tell I was a little bitter? ;)

Now that I'm going to Africa, they'll probably not let me again. Oh well.

Revan said...

I have a friend on Geonosis who made a weapon for absorbing blood and epositing it. Although people may not want to donate it, you could steal it from them just like a vampire.

Son Goku said...

I "m scared of needles so I can't give blood. Vegeta did once but the people that got it grew spiky hair, some turned into monkeys

Jean-Luc Picard said...

Blood? Needles? Time for me to run the other way!

Lori said...

I have to say I agree with the Captain on this!!!

Have a great day!!!!

Professor Xavier said...

I only gave blood once. I was a college Freshman and I had just taken my first mid-term. I figured I could use the karma so I gave blood. I got a C on the test. And that was the last time I gave blood.

flu said...

I try to give every 8 weeks.

The local blood supply group has a connection to a high-up regional guy that works for Coors. They worked it so the local Coors distribution center hosts the blood drives, and they cook up burgers and hotlinks and open the taps in the conference room for four hours each time... all free for blood donors.

eight weeks doesn't pass by fast enough.