Monday, January 30, 2006

A message from Queen Galacta IX

Greetings, citizens of the Milky Way Galaxy and visitors from afar.

We have decided to address the peoples of Our galaxy as a matter of importance. We wanted everyone to be assured that Her Majesty’s scientists and military advisors are working tirelessly to ensure the safety and security of all the peoples of this realm.

Excuse me, my eyes are up here.

As We were saying, the peaceful and secure existence of every living species of this galaxy is of unequalled importance to Us. Let Us assure you that during Our benevolent reign, no galactic weapon or superpower will be used to destroy an entire world or exterminate an entire species.

Ahem. Please stop staring at those.

While the Milky Way is indeed a large place, Our plan is to stage the Royal Navy in areas where they are needed or where they can easily access trouble spots. In addition, warp scouts, space stations, sentry outposts and robotic sensor arrays are established in more remote locations where staging the fleets is not feasible. These remote sentinels have the capability to transmit real-time information on the sectors that they are guarding, and should the need arise, they area able to act on the Queen’s behalf to protect the citizens of the area.

I said stop staring at my chest. I swear to… why do people always avoid looking me in the eyes? They seem to have no problem looking at these things on my chest, especially the less evolved species.

I’m telling you people, I have taken on a form that is pleasing to the senses of your species and what thanks do I get? A bunch of leering, salivating primates staring at these bags of flesh.

I was going to tell you people that your safety is assured with me. I was going to tell you my plan to hunt down my evil brother, Galactor. But now I am so infuriated that I do not wish to continue this address!

OK. We feel better now. Let us conclude this by reiterating that the Citizens of Galaxy will be protected by the, oh for crying out loud, you’re doing it again!

14 comments:

Vampirella said...

I just cant believe how small they are :P

Queen Galacta said...

Girlfriend, you do not want to go there.

Master Yoda said...

Maybe if keep your hand there all the time, look there people would not.

Jabafatboy said...

UH ... UH.... What was the speach About?

Wedge Antillies said...

I don't know which is worse, the eyes or the ego!

Vegeta said...

Gah! those eyes, Ok don't want to look at those I don't want to bre shrunken by my wife's ray again ah the floor look at the floor only the floor.

flu said...

Uh, why are you referring to your minions using a third person possessive? That's kinda awkward.

... and "we"? Who's "we"? Shouldn't you just say, "I", or "me"... or is it that you've named those two funbags you've got?

What's their names?

Oh!... and who ya rooting for in the Superbowl?

Queen Galacta said...

"We" refer to Us in the royal sense as We are speaking for Our entire dominion.

When I refer to myself personally, I call myself "I." It is quite simple, really.

Professor Xavier said...

You know, since you mentioned it, this is the first time that I noticed you eyes. I usually start at the feet and work my way up. For some reason, I have never made it to your eyes before? Have you seen someone about those? I think Scott has some extra ruby glasses lying around if you think that would help.

turboslut said...

Well, they are nice breasts. The eyes kind of freak me out a little, sorry :)

Lt. Cmdr Oneida said...

Sorry, I was trying to figure out if all your hair is real or not. Why didn't you make your eyes pleasing to us? Yipes, even Vladimir Putin has friendlier eyes.

And at least she's not talking like Bob Dole, though Bob Dole is pretty funny these days

Queen Galacta said...

Oh, Captain Starbucker, I (individual) believe that the Steelers' emerging passing game, powerful running game and devistating defense will overcome the Seahawks, who are due to realize that they are coached by Mike Holmgren and will soon revert to dropping passes and missing tackles.

Commender Onedia, I am unable to alter the form of my eyes. Think of it as the Earth hero "Plasticman," he is able to change his form yet he would still look like a red beachball or lamppost with those goofy glasses. Although my abilities are more harmonic in nature.

And if Galacta IX wanted to talk like Bob Dole, Galacta IX would talk like Bob Dole.

Count Dooku said...

I'm sorry, my dear, my thoughts seemed to have wandered.
Now, you were saying something about round space stations in remote locations?

Red Woman said...

I was just looking at the dress. But the way, where did you buy it at?