Tuesday, January 17, 2006

Good Jon Vs. Evil Jon, Round Three

With an evil leer, Evil Jon fired his Wristcomm weapon at me. Quickly, I fired mine back and the two energy beams cancelled each other out.

“What the—?” we said in unison looking at our weapons.

“Oh that’s it, you pink shirt wearing goody good!” Evil Jon screamed as he dove at me.

“Bring it on, Khan!” I retorted. “Try to connect a few punches when you throw those fists around, you might get lucky!”

Evil Jon lunged and swung wildly at me but I blocked his attacks. I didn’t counterattack at all, I merely concentrated on defense.

“Oh, you can’t even take a swing at me? I knew it, ya flaming-lipped nerd!” he fumed.

“Beating down egg-sucking gutter trash like you really isn’t worth it to me,” I replied, coolly defending his punches and kicks.

“Oh that’s it!” he doubled his effort, but I continued with my defense.

“Punch ‘im! Punch ‘im!” Talis shadowboxed while watching.

Evil Jon grew angrier and angrier, his attacks grew fiercer. Just like our previous encounters though, I was able to “anticipate” the attacks, allowing me to block and parry everything coming my way.

“Oh, you’re such a dog-hugging hippy suck-knuckle!” Evil Jon screamed. “All I need to do is connect with one punch and you’re done!”

“Not gonna let that happen, garbage-eating goat herder!” Yeah, I suppose I was stooping down to his level when I started to insult him back. What can I say?

Evil Jon’s fury finally got the best of him. Growling, he took his wildest swing yet, I caught him, spun him around and threw him into the portal.

He tried coming back out of it, but a shining, imposing figure grabbed him from within the vortex and hauled him back. The figure then poked his head back out through the portal and gave a thumbs up gesture.

“Don’t worry!” he called out. “I’ve got him handled on this side!”

“Who are you?” Talis asked.

“Why, I’m Galactor, the Benevolent Galactic Overlord, of course,” he smiled.

“Klaatu brada nikto!” I called out and the vortex flashed. “We still have to get Evil Hudson back through!”

“Evil Hudson ain’t goin’ anywhere!” came a voice from the doorway.

A bloodied Evil Hudson was leaning against the doorframe. He leveled his weapon at me, took two steps forward and collapsed face-first onto the floor. Two Royal Commandos rushed up and hauled his body to the vortex.

The Mirror Universe Galactor hoisted the collapsed villain into the vortex, smiled and waved, and disappeared himself.

“Maybe you haven't been keeping up on current events but you just got your butt kicked, Evil Hudson!” Good Hudson called from the doorway.

I looked over to the Marine. “Hudson? Hey what happened?”

“Aw nothing I couldn’t handle,” he replied. “But don't ever ask me about it again. Let’s smoke this thing!”

He started firing into all the machinery in the room. The Royal Commandos joined him. Sparks flew, smoke spewed and the portal winked out of existence.

“Yo commando!” the commandos cried as the machinery erupted into flames.

Silently, Galactor appeared from out of the shadows and threw the three commandos across the room.

“You have destroyed my efforts for the last time.” Galactor advanced towards me.

“Oh man,” said Hudson. “Count me out…”


Anonymous said...

How come the good one isn't wearing a white hat ??

The good guys always supposed to have a white hat !!!

This is just to confusin..

Wedge Antillies said...

Man, no wonder you get the big bucks! Is it tough to stay in shape like that? ANd how do you keep any friends when they always seem to get the snot beat out of 'em?

One more thing, did you keep the plans for that vortex machine? Maybe I can conjure up a good version of Palpatine.

Master Yoda said...

Jon, only 25 hit from the 10000 visitor mark you are!


Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

Interesting, I just refreshed and it says 9976.

If anyone has a screenshot of 10000, I'll make you an official Junior Intergalactic Gladiator.

Anonymous said...

hmmm carefull someone might start refreshing over and over to get it
someone like Hudson LOL

*wink* wink*

Lt. Cmdr Oneida said...

Pink actually might not look so bad on you.

Why does evil hudson have what looks like an old police badge?

Professor Xavier said...

Is "good" really an appropriate adjective to use for Hudson? He seems to take a maniacal glee from shooting people and things with his gun. He also seems prone to panic attacks when he thinks the odds are stacked against him, which is not very heroic. Perhaps a more appropriate descriptor would be "More Good Than Evil Hudson."

flu said...

I'm thinking "a mark or two above mediocre Hudson"

flu said...

btw, it was 10026 just then.

I guess I'll have to keep on keepin' on as an official Junior Intergalactic Gladiator wannabe.


Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

Fluke, you'll always be one of my favorite Jr. Intergalactic Gladiators.