With an evil leer, Evil Jon fired his Wristcomm weapon at me. Quickly, I fired mine back and the two energy beams cancelled each other out.
“What the—?” we said in unison looking at our weapons.
“Oh that’s it, you pink shirt wearing goody good!” Evil Jon screamed as he dove at me.
“Bring it on, Khan!” I retorted. “Try to connect a few punches when you throw those fists around, you might get lucky!”
Evil Jon lunged and swung wildly at me but I blocked his attacks. I didn’t counterattack at all, I merely concentrated on defense.
“Oh, you can’t even take a swing at me? I knew it, ya flaming-lipped nerd!” he fumed.
“Beating down egg-sucking gutter trash like you really isn’t worth it to me,” I replied, coolly defending his punches and kicks.
“Oh that’s it!” he doubled his effort, but I continued with my defense.
“Punch ‘im! Punch ‘im!” Talis shadowboxed while watching.
Evil Jon grew angrier and angrier, his attacks grew fiercer. Just like our previous encounters though, I was able to “anticipate” the attacks, allowing me to block and parry everything coming my way.
“Oh, you’re such a dog-hugging hippy suck-knuckle!” Evil Jon screamed. “All I need to do is connect with one punch and you’re done!”
“Not gonna let that happen, garbage-eating goat herder!” Yeah, I suppose I was stooping down to his level when I started to insult him back. What can I say?
Evil Jon’s fury finally got the best of him. Growling, he took his wildest swing yet, I caught him, spun him around and threw him into the portal.
He tried coming back out of it, but a shining, imposing figure grabbed him from within the vortex and hauled him back. The figure then poked his head back out through the portal and gave a thumbs up gesture.
“Don’t worry!” he called out. “I’ve got him handled on this side!”
“Who are you?” Talis asked.
“Why, I’m Galactor, the Benevolent Galactic Overlord, of course,” he smiled.
“Klaatu brada nikto!” I called out and the vortex flashed. “We still have to get Evil Hudson back through!”
“Evil Hudson ain’t goin’ anywhere!” came a voice from the doorway.
A bloodied Evil Hudson was leaning against the doorframe. He leveled his weapon at me, took two steps forward and collapsed face-first onto the floor. Two Royal Commandos rushed up and hauled his body to the vortex.
The Mirror Universe Galactor hoisted the collapsed villain into the vortex, smiled and waved, and disappeared himself.
“Maybe you haven't been keeping up on current events but you just got your butt kicked, Evil Hudson!” Good Hudson called from the doorway.
I looked over to the Marine. “Hudson? Hey what happened?”
“Aw nothing I couldn’t handle,” he replied. “But don't ever ask me about it again. Let’s smoke this thing!”
He started firing into all the machinery in the room. The Royal Commandos joined him. Sparks flew, smoke spewed and the portal winked out of existence.
“Yo commando!” the commandos cried as the machinery erupted into flames.
Silently, Galactor appeared from out of the shadows and threw the three commandos across the room.
“You have destroyed my efforts for the last time.” Galactor advanced towards me.
“Oh man,” said Hudson. “Count me out…”
Tuesday, January 17, 2006
Posted by Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator at 06:57