Monday, January 16, 2006

Showdown in the Citadel

Private Hudson, Talis the Technomage, the four remaining Royal Commandos and I were making our way through the corridors of the Edifice of Evil with little resistance. We met pockets of guards along the way, but they were no match for us.

“I’m surprised that we’re getting through this so easily,” I commented.

“First rule of combat in a building,” Hudson stated. “The team in small numbers inside the building can always fight through the superior force. I’ve totally seen it happen tons of times.”

“Yeah, it’s practically a cliché,” a commando offered.

“I hear that,” said another.

We rounded a corner and practically ran into an overwhelming force of Galactor’s troops. We dove for cover and exchanged fire with them, whittling away their numbers with our firepower.

The troops who weren’t wounded or down began pulling back. We pressed forward until the remaining few turned tail and ran. I turned to my side and saw one of the Royal Commandos on the ground, wounded.

“Forget… about me sir,” he gasped. “Carry on with the mission.”

“No way, troop,” I declared. “I’m not leaving a man behind.” I scooped him up onto my shoulders and carried on.

“Game on, babies,” came a voice from behind us. “Game on!”

We turned and Evil Hudson was standing there with a shotgun and a wicked smirk.

“Maybe you haven’t been keeping up on current events, but you’re about to get your butts kicked, pals.”

The commandos and Talis dove around a corner, I stumbled around behind him with the wounded soldier over my back. Good Hudson stood his ground.

“He’s mine,” he said with grim determination.

Good Hudson and Evil Hudson began firing at each other. Good Hudson’s rounds chewed up the wall all around Evil Hudson. Meanwhile, the barrel of Evil Hudson’s shotgun kept leaping up every time he fired. It became a noisy exercise in futility until both ran out of ammo.

With a screeching war cry, the two Hudson charged each other and quickly became a whirling dervish of hand-to-hand combat. Punches and kicks were thrown, but it quickly devolved into slapping and pulling hair.

The remaining group carried on. “This way,” Talis pointed.

We threw open the doors and there in front of us was the portal to the Mirror Universe.

“There it is,” said Talis. “Quick, Jon! Say the magic words!”

I approached the vortex. “Klaatu barada…”

“Nikto! Nikto!” Talis whispered urgently.

“OK, OK, I know, I know,” I replied.

“Klaatu brada --”

“Not so fast, choir boy!” came a familiar voice.

I turned and Evil Jon was standing there with his arms crossed and his own evil smirk on his face.

“No need to banish me,” he sneered. “I’ve had it with this jerkwater universe. Everyone’s always smiling and laughing at the dumbest crap. I hate everything here, I even hate the evil people here.”

“Really?” I asked incredulously.

“I’ve seen lame stuff before, but this place takes the friggin’ cake,” he started walking towards the portal. “Chocolate brownies, Meg Ryan movies, Christmas, Monkeyboys! I hate them all!”

“Well, I’m not going to argue with you on the last one,” I replied.

“I say goodbye to that, goodbye to you, and goodbye to this crummy universe.”

“Well OK, then,” a Royal Commando said.

“Hold on,” cautioned the technomage. “Don’t trust him…”

“Why shouldn’t you?” Evil Jon responded. “I’m unarmed, and I’m just going to walk right into the portal, here.”

“Well, go ahead, then,” I urged.

“Oh, I will,” Evil Jon stepped up to the portal, almost stepped into it, but stopped and gave me a sly grin.

To be continued...

5 comments:

Hot Stuff the little devil said...

its a trick and evil Hudson will tie good hudson up steal his cloths and pretend he is good hudson and you will be in trouble... this is getting good grabs another bag of pop corn


come on more more :P

Jabafatboy said...

The evil one always looses in the end, or gets it in the end, or ends up gettin it , or gets it in the end and looses......

dangit hotstuff gimme some of that popcorn!!

Master Yoda said...

To tell him you forgot, "Let the interdimensional portal hit you in the butt as you leave, do not."

Lt. Cmdr Oneida said...

even evil people like brownies, he's up to something.

flu said...

man, that evil Hudson looks really really bad... and evil... and artificial... like Mickey Rourke, or something.

lol, I could just see them windmill slapping at each other with their eyes closed.