Showdown in the Citadel

Private Hudson, Talis the Technomage, the four remaining Royal Commandos and I were making our way through the corridors of the Edifice of Evil with little resistance. We met pockets of guards along the way, but they were no match for us.

“I’m surprised that we’re getting through this so easily,” I commented.

“First rule of combat in a building,” Hudson stated. “The team in small numbers inside the building can always fight through the superior force. I’ve totally seen it happen tons of times.”

“Yeah, it’s practically a cliché,” a commando offered.

“I hear that,” said another.

We rounded a corner and practically ran into an overwhelming force of Galactor’s troops. We dove for cover and exchanged fire with them, whittling away their numbers with our firepower.

The troops who weren’t wounded or down began pulling back. We pressed forward until the remaining few turned tail and ran. I turned to my side and saw one of the Royal Commandos on the ground, wounded.

“Forget… about me sir,” he gasped. “Carry on with the mission.”

“No way, troop,” I declared. “I’m not leaving a man behind.” I scooped him up onto my shoulders and carried on.

“Game on, babies,” came a voice from behind us. “Game on!”

We turned and Evil Hudson was standing there with a shotgun and a wicked smirk.

“Maybe you haven’t been keeping up on current events, but you’re about to get your butts kicked, pals.”

The commandos and Talis dove around a corner, I stumbled around behind him with the wounded soldier over my back. Good Hudson stood his ground.

“He’s mine,” he said with grim determination.

Good Hudson and Evil Hudson began firing at each other. Good Hudson’s rounds chewed up the wall all around Evil Hudson. Meanwhile, the barrel of Evil Hudson’s shotgun kept leaping up every time he fired. It became a noisy exercise in futility until both ran out of ammo.

With a screeching war cry, the two Hudson charged each other and quickly became a whirling dervish of hand-to-hand combat. Punches and kicks were thrown, but it quickly devolved into slapping and pulling hair.

The remaining group carried on. “This way,” Talis pointed.

We threw open the doors and there in front of us was the portal to the Mirror Universe.

“There it is,” said Talis. “Quick, Jon! Say the magic words!”

I approached the vortex. “Klaatu barada…”

“Nikto! Nikto!” Talis whispered urgently.

“OK, OK, I know, I know,” I replied.

“Klaatu brada --”

“Not so fast, choir boy!” came a familiar voice.

I turned and Evil Jon was standing there with his arms crossed and his own evil smirk on his face.

“No need to banish me,” he sneered. “I’ve had it with this jerkwater universe. Everyone’s always smiling and laughing at the dumbest crap. I hate everything here, I even hate the evil people here.”

“Really?” I asked incredulously.

“I’ve seen lame stuff before, but this place takes the friggin’ cake,” he started walking towards the portal. “Chocolate brownies, Meg Ryan movies, Christmas, Monkeyboys! I hate them all!”

“Well, I’m not going to argue with you on the last one,” I replied.

“I say goodbye to that, goodbye to you, and goodbye to this crummy universe.”

“Well OK, then,” a Royal Commando said.

“Hold on,” cautioned the technomage. “Don’t trust him…”

“Why shouldn’t you?” Evil Jon responded. “I’m unarmed, and I’m just going to walk right into the portal, here.”

“Well, go ahead, then,” I urged.

“Oh, I will,” Evil Jon stepped up to the portal, almost stepped into it, but stopped and gave me a sly grin.

To be continued...